The Harsh Truth: No One is Going to Fix You!
I recently read a Lifehack article about harsh truths. I really resonated with the honesty of this article. There are seven listed altogether, so I am going to create a series of posts that reflect on each one!
Sometimes, we all need to hear that raw, deep honesty. You know, those things that your friends may think but would never say because they want to spare your feelings…
However, by keeping it inside, they are doing nothing to help you realize the reality of your situation. You NEED to hear the harsh truth in order to break free from the rut you’ve been sitting in.
Hearing the brutal honesty, while it will be painful, helps to pull us from the “la-la land” we have been living in for weeks, months, or maybe even years.
The first point the article makes is
"No One is Going to Fix You!"
It’s hard not to look at your life and think, “Man, if I just had someone to love me,” or “If I could only find someone with more money/a nice house/a better job/etc etc”
Sure, those things would be nice to have, but really, in the grand scheme of things, someone else will not be able to truly make your life better. They may can help you with finances or buying a new car, but those aren’t what will really make you happy.
They cannot fix you or your mindset – the only person that can do that is YOU!
You should never expect someone to bring you the happiness you desire. You must figure out how to create it for yourself. In fact, it’s a bit selfish to drag someone into your drama or baggage, expecting them to be the “key” to a happy life.
It’s just not going to happen!
And it shouldn’t. Those people are not you. They were not there for everything that led up to this point. For everything that has made you the person you have become. They can't possibly know all of your hardships, struggles, or failures...or their affect on your life. On your mind.
Even if they were, they still would not be able to crawl up into your brain and rework your frame of mind.
By standing up and taking your happiness into your own hands, you will become a more independent individual. Once you have “fixed” yourself, you will be proud of the person you have become…with no one else’s help.
When you look back and see how far you have come, you will realize that you are a strong, independent person. And that end thought right there, will make you even happier than you could ever dream of!
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Very true.
The flip side of this is you can't fix anyone else so stop punishing yourself for failing.
The same truth applies in the opposite direction... we can't fix other people. I learned long ago that I can't expect someone else to fix ME, but it took me much longer to really realize that I can't force someone else to 'get fixed' either.
It's a hard lesson to learn sometimes, we always just think that one OTHER thing will make us happy or fix our problems, but we have to deal with our own inner selves first!
Great post!
Oh my gosh yes, you are totally right, @byn. I had to learn that lesson the hard way too. :/
Life is a neverending lesson that we get to learn... and maybe kind of like a video game in that we get to level up to the next challenge! :)
There is a lot of truth in this post. When you think about it, it is only you and your inner self that know the cause of what needs fixing, so how could you expect anyone else to do it for you? A very thought provoking article.
You are right, @appent. No one knows the exact cause so it's on YOU to fix yourself. Just be strong and get it done!
Another terrific blog Keciah.
I have often thought that there are - broadly speaking - two types of people: those that make things happen, and those that sit back and let things happen. I think that we all spend time in both camps, depending on where are at in life, but some of us spend too much time in the second one.
If you want to change your life, then that change must come from within.
Unfortunately, I know too many people that have set up permanent camp in that second area. Some like to play the victim, I think, and others just don't believe in themselves enough. But yes, if you want your life to change you have to do something about it!
Exactly that. The problem with playing the victim is that it is habit forming. We are all at the mercy of life's outrageous fortune, so there are times when I think it's okay to feel a little sorry for ourselves. The trick though is to learn from these experiences, and not to let them define you.
I agree that we must hear harsh truths from time-to-time. Not all good advice will be palatable. It sucks, but it's a reality.
I am happy to see some others out there that feel this way!
Thank you for sharing your ideas and the ideas you appreciated in that Lifehack article.
Valid point - no one else understands all you've been through to end up broken. That's why therapy takes a long time - and only works if you are putting your own effort into it.
Exactly @katebenzin!
a great post and solid advise, too often we in many ways compare ourselves with others and are hard on ourselves reviewing how we have changed is more postive
Thanks for commenting, @tattoodjay! Yes it’s definitely not healthy to compare yourself to others...but it does happen.
It happens more than it doesn’t I think
I was bad for itcalso with age I have changed
Amazing! You did really good with this post and made some strong arguments, I hope people will follow them. I think this is my favourite post that you did since I started reading your work. Good job!!! 💚
Awww, thank you for reading, @zen-art! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
This post is sponsored by @appreciator in collaboration with #steemitbloggers. Keep up the good work
Yep it's true all we can do is fix ourselves
I agree. Thanks for stopping by! :)
its no problem check out some of my beats when you get time