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RE: Shame and fear of who we have been. Why?
You have an incredible ability to put me at ease. Thank you for this. It is difficult not to shoulder their burdens, but these issues are theirs, and you're right--I can choose to not let them be mine. I find that with every pain comes beauty.
In my case, I felt like I was drowning and the only way for me to survive was to be willing to cut them out of my life. I was at a point where I felt like I had to. And I was lucky and blessed that they were not willing to let me go...but that was when I was allowed to make the rules. But that willingness to let go...that, for me was bottom-line survival for my well-being.