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RE: How to Cope with Stress? (Part 6) Run and Hide

in #psychologylast year (edited)

Hello Valeria,
welcome back! :)

In particular, I found this of great use to see formulated:

2.Social withdrawal or excessive autonomy
Avoidance coping mechanism could be found in social withdrawal or excessive autonomy as well. This is the case when people isolate themselves from friends, family, and co-workers. Some of us demonstrate an exaggerated focus on independence and self-reliance instead of involving with others. They mainly engage in private activities such as excessive TV watching, reading, recreational computing, or solitary work.

I think you're describing a zeitgeist here that I think will spread even further. I hope, however, that I am wrong.

I also thought it was good and important that you mentioned age. Otherwise, because one always refers to oneself, one can come up with the idea that one has an avoidance strategy, although one has reached an age where one takes things a little slower and no longer feels the desire for social company as strongly as in younger years, but confuses this with the fact that one would behave in an avoidant manner. Also, as long as you do regular work and leave home to do it and meet with colleagues, etc., such a strategy is not necessarily suspect. I think if you don't see anyone for days, it starts to get difficult.

The methods you suggest for bridging the avoidance stratgies are useful and helpful, as are the examples you gave.

Humor, I think, is an often underestimated treasure that you can apply well to yourself. I practice speaking loudly with myself because it reveals my thoughts much better than when I think quietly. For example, I leave my girlfriend long voice messages and I have noticed (just like on audio recordings) that I can make myself laugh or smile about me. This moment of pausing briefly, of wanting to get angry with myself and then accepting briefly that my current feeling is just like that, already paves the way for humour.... Difficult to explain.

The only thing where I would say that these people don't exist is a soul mate ;-)

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Thanks for your great feedback, Erica! I tried to specify that feeling good about being by yourself is just fine as long as it is not the only thing you do. But it is difficult to draw the line or show where the line is in an article because each of us is a unique human being put in a very specific situation. As you said, sometimes, what seems to be fine with me is definitely not fine for someone else :)

I leave my girlfriend long voice messages and I have noticed (just like on audio recordings) that I can make myself laugh or smile about me.

This is genius! I should try it. Sometimes I write down my thoughts and read them later, but I have never actually tried talking to myself.

I would say that these people don't exist is a soul mate

Yes, I agree with you. There is not a perfect soul mate made especially for you. But it is figurative speaking, just to draw the picture more clearly :) I even read a book in which the author suggests that it doesn't quite matter who you are going to end up with as long as in the end, you will be facing your own projections. And you will need to work on them. So he even jokes that arranged marriages could work just fine :D

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