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Having a high Emotional Intelligence allows you to judge, empathize, and understand the very complex bag of hormones that we call 'people'.
Emotional Intelligence -- otherwise called EQ or EI -- is a term created by two researchers, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer which posited that just as people have a wide range of intellectual abilities, they also have a wide range of emotional skills that profoundly affect their thinking and actions. This theory was further popularized by Dan Goleman in his 1995 book.

When Daniel Goleman published the book, "Emotional Intelligence" in 1995, very few had heard of the term. But in recent times, we now find references to emotional intelligence in just about everywhere, most of them
positive : how emotional intelligence can make you a better leader, a better employee or even a better spouse or parent. All references to the theory of emotional intelligence has always been about the good sides.

But what about the negative sides of it? Isn't it time for us to be aware of the bad effect of emotional intelligence? Wouldn't it be an added advantage to us if we became aware of the negatives of emotional intelligence? Alot of professional coaches would say "dont go there!" But I think it's high time we went there.

• Emotional Intelligence while great for finding a date, making quick, personal connections, and gaining trust can sometimes backfire.

If you display a level of understanding and trust then people will become very free with you to tell you things, perhaps things you don't really want to hear about. Things like their marriage problems, why they cheated on their boyfriend, why he or she did drugs, etc. This insight will sometimes place you in highly uncomfortable or annoying situations where you may even feel awfully compassionate that you are required to now do something. (eg. When someone tells you they robbed a shop.)

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• Another downside of EQ is that in times of rare but serious anger --yes high EQ people get angry too -- you may say highly hurtful things.

Your great insight into people allows you to know their strenghts and weaknesses, fears and insecurities.

• Imagine being very upset and angry, and suddenly a gun appears in your hands.

The same applies to high EQ people. People's weak points seem so obvious to you, and sometimes it takes huge restraint to not unleash a string of cripplingly devastating words.

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• Emotional Intelligence can also be used to manipulate other people.

Emotions are considered to be a vital skill because it is experienced in virtually all moments of our day. People who have high emotional insight tend to take advantage of every situation to manipulate others. This is why I so much dislike the book "48 Laws of Power". To me, that book is highly demonic and shouldn't be read by just every Tom, Dick and Harry.

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• Finally, being so loved, empathetic and trustworthy means that some people will be jealous of your public charm and charisma, while others will misinterpret your sincere understanding and compassion for being fake.

To them they feel "No one really is that nice" and "You just suck up to people with every opportunity." This irrational prejudice happens to anyone who is well loved or highly successful.

So when next you try to educate others on the art of EQ, always put them in the know on these few negatives. Though I still feel that Emotional Intelligence is a required trait for good leadership, conflict resolution etc, I also think that the threat posed by it is something to be aware of. And like I have just highlighted in the points above, the dark side of Emotional Intelligence can take a huge toll on one's well being.

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THANKS FOR READING

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