The Value of Giving Up: The Best we can Do is... Our Best
"Always do your best!"
It was something my dad used to say to me a lot, when I was a kid. It's one of those childhood lessons that "imprinted" really well... to this day, I still try to do my best at whatever I undertake... and, if I don't feel like I'm willing to do my best at something, I generally opt out... rather than doing a schlocky job.
Hidden Message?
What does "doing your best" actually mean? What does it suggest — or imply — to you?
Red clover
I've touched on this before... for many people, there's a hidden implication that the extension of "doing your best" is winning at something, or achieving absolute success.
Alas, we do ourselves a disservice by such thinking. In fact, some folks put undue pressure on themselves and then get very angry with life itself when they feel like they gave their best and still didn't end up with the result they were hoping for.
The sad fact is that "our best" is not always enough.
And "our best" simply means our best... but that's not a "global" best.
There are many things I have done my best at... and it has turned out that my efforts were nowhere near good enough.
For example, when I was in my late teens and 20's, I thought I was a "pretty good" long distance runner. And I believed I could become "someone." But no matter how much I trained, my best 10K time got to 31:45 in one race... and I never got below that. And eventually, I had to admit that I was too tall, and too big to make it into the "true" elite. I'm 6'4" (193cm) and elite runners are seldom above 5'10".
"My Best" is not Global
The lesson is that "our best" is really an internal measurement, not a competition with others. And when we fall into the trap of labeling ourselves as "losers" because our best was less than someone else's best... it can become really self-destructive.
Nasturtium
Comparisons can be deadly!
At the very least, they can keep you from enjoying things you really love... whether it's running, some other competitive sport, or even something creative like writing or art.
For example, I started really enjoying running 10K races again, once I gave up trying to become "elite." Some years earlier, I'd "given up" aspirations to go on the pro golf tour... again, mostly because I realized that even at my best, I would never be better than a "second tier" player.
In a completely different area of life, I have really enjoyed writing ever since giving up the idea that I could become a successful novelist!
So my advice: Always do your best... but give yourself permission to forget what others are doing, and just enjoy yourself!
As always, comments and feedback are invited! Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
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Created at 180725 20:09 PDT
I see a big difference between doing your best and just doing a bad job at something. I think setting an reasonable expectations is more important.
I don’t always have the energy for my best but usually my second or third best can still crushes it. Sometimes you just got go for it otherwise you lose out on opportunity. Not to mention what I view as my best someone might not. Sometimes my second best is what people just prefer.
I could write 4k+ word blogs with 30 screenshots/photos in each of them. That is what I consider my best. While I could do that they are very time consuming. I would not be producing much content anymore. I usually reserve that level making certain kinds of reviews.
I can still be happy in terms of wellness in creating something 1k+ words and a couple of screenshots/photos.
I like your point. I am a more of an advocate of the “80% solution now vs 100% solution tomorrow” approach.
I think the venue and format dictates a lot. If you are publishing something in a journal or a periodical, then it makes sense to give it everything you have and do your very best. But on a platform like this it just seems like that is a recipe for burnout and discouragement.
Even practically speaking, my gut feeling is that you are more likely to build engagement and pick up followers by posting a few shorter posts rather than one longer, but higher quality one. The odds of people seeing one of your posts is higher the more you have out there. Of course, you need to balance quality to make sure you’re not putting out a bunch of garbage, but like you said, oftentimes your 2nd or 3rd best is good enough.
Some relatively wise person once made the statement to me that "perfectionism is the enemy of accomplishment."
At the time, I seem to remember it was mostly designed to shake me out of my stupor... but in retrospect, it makes a good bit of sense. What good is a perfect article, a perfect project... if it never actually gets done and sees the light of day?
My efforts here are mostly designed to encourage engagement and interaction... not to win literary awards. But I still want to feel reasonably good about "putting my name" on what I publish.
Interesting and certainly relevant distinction there. And I realize that also holds true for myself: I could write perfect "articles" every time, but it would lead to a pretty limited publication schedule, because that would be ridiculously time consuming.
In most cases, the place I end up at is one where I feel comfortable at the idea of saying "yes, I created that!" and not feeling like I just want to creep into a hole and not be seen. So really, that's more about a level of caring than anything else.
And I mean that also as it applies to life outside of Steemit; outside of writing.
I think the challenge for me is that my best is often a never-ending goal. I have gotten sucked into editing loops where I keep revising and tweaking and improving my work, but never feeling like I’ve achieved my absolute and very best. Eventually the improvements in quality are minuscule (though they do still exist!) with each editing pass, until I finally say “this is good enough” and just post the darn thing.
I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing the nature of diminishing returns when polishing my work. I usually stop myself after just one or two passes. But by definition, that means I am rarely, if ever, posting my “best” work. I value quality, but for me it is a matter of reaching a certain threshold and then moving on to something new.
I hear you! And it can be a slippery slope if we allow "doing our best" to slide over into perfectionism. Of course, we all have our unique and different approaches to the creative process... but my experience has been that I can spend so much time "overfinessing" something to where it actually is never finished... and I start getting frustrated and missing deadlines...
Most of my writing is a two part process. I write a very rough draft that's basically flow of consciousness... and (in most cases) I leave it alone for a couple of days... unless I feel particularly driven to finish it. Then I come back to it and fine tune it (or discard it as garbage, remarkably often!) and publish it... try not to do too much work on it.
As you say, there's diminishing returns when you keep trying to polish something up too much.
Oh that’s interesting! I’ve never tried that. I always feel compelled to finish a post the same day I start it, but I never questioned why I feel that imperative. Maybe I should give your approach a shot!
I have this tendency to re-read my post shortly after it goes up only to find a bunch of edits and mistakes. Your way might cut down on that!
That's actually how I originally got started with that two-part approach: Making SO many errors. I just discovered that if you walk AWAY and do something else, you forget JUST enough of what you've written to where you are reading it with fresh eyes, rather than "filling in gaps" psychologically... which causes you to skip over mistakes.
I don't know how many ideas you generally have working, but it's also an approach that cuts way down on "heat of the moment" commentaries that actually are pretty lame, once you stop and think about it.
Hah! I know what you mean. That kind of happened to me yesterday and I just got carried away with a spontaneous idea and it turned out so terribly... that I entered it into a comedy contest, hah!
I have a little memo on my phone I keep ideas on. Oh hey! I don't know if you take requests, but if you are looking for ideas for upcoming posts of your own, I would love to read a full blown description of your whole creative process - from the moment the idea pops into your head to the moment you click post. I feel like I could learn a lot from someone who has "been there, done that".
It’s a tough world out there and sometimes I just want to give up.. honestly but there’s always something that drives me to keep going , a voice inside me , the little hope I have left , giving it my everything , even at my lowest point
And I see that shine through in your efforts here on Steemit (which, I suppose, is my primary "window" to your life); your presentation is always well done.
I am trying my best to give my son the life i have never had
I am trying my
Best to give my son the life
I have never had
- journeyoflife
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
And as far as I can tell, you are doing a fine job with that, and setting a great example for him, of what can be accomplished with diligence and hard work.
Good advice. It is important to do our best and actually compliment ourself rather than being competitive with others.
Each individual are special in their own way and it is better to do our best rather than doing nothing at all.
Really enjoyed your writting. Thank you.
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It seems very easy for a lot of people to become too obsessed with the "competition" with others... and you forget what it is to simply "do well" and allowing the result to be whatever it is.
That is indeed most people do nowadays. I think that have become a habit. Even so, healthy competition is nice.
Great clicks.
The best is never be the best if we dont trying to do.
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I appreciate the upvote and the visit!
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learn something new from you, thanks for this information sir.
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STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
I just saw your comment on a post and I started reading your blog. This is really inspiring! Can't wait for your next posts.