Exploring the fear of darkness

Fear of darkness as we all know, is very common in children, especially when they are big enough to be capable of imagine ugly things, but small enough to not understand there is really no risk even when the room is dark. Depending on how afraid of dark these kids are, they might tend to ask an adult to go with them every time they need to enter a dark room, or a dark corridor.

This fear can be so intense, that people might even prefer to sleep with the lights on, it usually disappears with time as we get older, but that is not always the case, and although no one will accept it because of the potential embarrassment, there are many adults who also experience this fear, it is not so much fear of entering spaces without light, but the fear of staying alone in a room that is totally dark.

In the most extreme cases this fear can turn into a phobia, these people may be afraid of the dark for many reasons but, generally what triggers the fear is feeling completely vulnerable because they literally cannot see anything, and the possibility of there being dangerous things close to them makes them very nervous, which is of course an expected response.

Understanding the fear of the dark

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When a person has an extreme fear of the dark and that anxiety affects his sleep even in adulthood, it might be because that person suffers from a phobia called nyctophobia, defined as:

Nyctophobia is an extreme fear of night or darkness that can cause intense symptoms of anxiety and depression. A fear becomes a phobia when it’s excessive, irrational, or impacts your day-to-day life. | Source

... is a disorder that is characterized by the presence of clinically significant anxiety that is produced by situations in which it is at night, it is dark or there is not enough illumination. | Source

The fear of the dark usually begins in the first years of our life, when the child is developing awareness of his surroundings and a good understanding of the environment. Since they don’t have enough knowledge when it comes to identifying situations that are actually risky, their sense of self preservation makes them extremely scary of things like ghosts, monsters, strange noises, and pretty much every unknown thing they could think of capable of hurting them, the fact they are easily influenced by any fiction they can see in movies for example, makes them much more prone to experience this fear if they happen to watch a horror flick.

The darkness impairs our vision, first and foremost, which is a huge part of our ability to understand and manage our surroundings. Darkness blinds one of our most important senses, and leaves us with a lack of control and vulnerability. | Source

This fear could be the result of suffering a seriously traumatic experience related to a dark place, the younger the person, the worse the trauma would be. For example, if a small child got accidentally trapped inside a dark room, the scary experience will make that child link darkness with a feeling of loneliness and extreme vulnerability, and in order to reject the negative memories triggered by a place like that, the fear would work like a security mechanism, keeping him away of situations that are similar to the one that was very harmful to him in the past.

A similar thing can happen if something extremely bad was experienced at night, like some kind of abuse, or dealing with a criminal who broke into a house in the middle of night, these types of situations can make anyone feel a strong uneasiness when realizing the same circumstances are repeating themselves (middle of the night and having the house completely in darkness).

In adults, experiencing this fear is common after difficult breakups with the partner such as a divorce, or after being widowed. In these complicated circumstances, the fear of dark is related to the fear of loneliness as a result of suddenly losing the partner. When the person stop being single after the hard breakup or end up overcoming the mourning after losing the partner, the fear will usually disappears by itself, because there is no more loneliness in the life of that person.

Other times being afraid of the dark may be a manifestation of the fear the person feels about losing control or about not have enough control over all aspects of his life. Due to the fact that in the dark we do not see what is there and, therefore, we cannot control anything, it becomes a representation of the fear of not having enough control.

In old people, this fear can also arise as the result of being concerned about death, and the reason why that concern is usually associated with darkness, is because at the time of going to sleep, when there is not much else to do or to think, those people might start to reflect about the proximity of their own death.

However, in the case of kids, apart from the possibility of having traumatic experiences like getting lost in the night, they could also be influenced if they live with other people who have an intense fear of the dark. Children would simply pick up and adopt the same fear even if they didn’t have any traumatic experience that could trigger the developing of the fear in the first place.

The child needs to see we're managing ourselves well, even if there's something to be anxious about… It's the anxiety that is contagious. If the child senses the anxiety, then they may act on it. | Source

Depending on the personality of the parents, if they are extremely overprotective with their children, that can also make those kids to be more prone to feel insecurity when being on their own without the constant presence of their parents, and that tendency to feel insecurity allows for the fear of dark to be much stronger than otherwise.

Some of the most common symptoms of having an extreme fear of the dark are the followings.

• Becoming nervous in any darkened environment
• Sleeping with a night light
• Being reluctant to go out at night
• Attempting to run away from dark rooms
• Compulsively staying indoors at night
• Becoming angry or defensive if anyone tries to encourage you to spend time in the dark. | Source

Fear of the dark also has its evolutionary roots, because in the past, when there was no light and people didn’t have any way of knowing what was in the dark, it was potentially risky putting ourselves in dark places since the possibilities of being attacked were much greater and our chances of handling that hypothetical attack were much lower, therefore, avoiding dark places is a natural tendency for self preservation purposes.

In addition, to our primitive fear of darkness the feedback we receive from our society also makes us more frightened. Most of the crimes in the modern world are committed after sunset. As we hear/study about the crimes and acts of violence happening at night our minds become more scared of the dark. | Source

However, since this fear can really affect the person’s life, given the fact dark places is something completely normal, it would be necessary to start approaching this issue in order to overcome it. The easiest technique would be to try to remain in a dark place as much time as possible, and when the fear starts to appear, leave the place. With time, the person could realize little by little, that completely avoiding dark places doesn’t make much sense after all, and the intensity of the fear should be reduced as a result. This could be done, along with relaxation techniques just before entering the dark room, so the person can remain more time in it without losing his calmness.

When it comes to children, taking a more gentle approach should be the best option. It is common for parents when they see their kid disturbed, to tell him that everything is fine. For example, when the child is afraid of the dark, parents might tend to say that everything is good, and nothing bad will happen, but the truth is the kid is not well since something is scaring him. So, if instead of doing that, the parents tell him that they understand his fear, and explain it is totally understandable to be afraid of the dark, this could help the kid to understand what is happening to him.

By telling him that darkness can be scary because we do not see what surrounds us and that our imagination plays an important role in completing what we do not see, it can be of huge help to rationalize the fear, and eventually, overcome it. Parents could also tell the kid that when his imagination begins to see bad things, by turning on the light he will be able to check everything is good with no danger whatsoever. Understanding the problem is the first step towards solving it, and this applies to phobias such as the one we are discussing in this article.

Another way of helping kids deal with their fear of the dark, is by using products such as glowaway , which is about a "magical" blanket that glows in the dark and have a "spell against monsters". This is with the hopes of leveraging the kid's imagination for their own benefit.

Conclusion

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Having fear of darkness is more common than we might think, and it is only by having a proper understanding about why this fear is happening, the people who suffer from it will eventually overcome it. Feeling a little bit uncomfortable when we are in a dark room without being able to see anything is no problem at all, but for the people who are simply terrified of something like that happening, it could be an issue that can avoid the person from having a normal life. But that doesn’t mean this fear is something that last for a lifetime, because even if a person finds himself scared of the dark after reaching adulthood, there are still effective ways to approach this problem.

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