Having a problem makes us, who we are !

Time here now almost 2 a.m. it's mean here really late night already in my country... but now difficult to me to get sleepy because 4 hours ago drinking a cup coffee latte. so this is why i cannot sleep, better i write here my new blog with my messy english... ( I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel shy that my english messy on this time ).

Lately i do not want talk too much with anyone when I find myself feeling i was really heavy thought, i need take a time to alone for temporary... to connect with myself... also i need going to somewhere close to nature.

In certain circumstances sometimes people cannot guess i was having problem or having busy mind, frustated, and hopeless. it all i do not want people know what i have feel because i do not want they feel sorry for me... because l know my self, it make me weak and more suffer. i'm just trying how look to be fine and keep calm and could control my emotional and do not want to do the bad thing for myself.

When people having a problem, probably some of them do the bad thing of themself like drink, drug, smoking, or going to a club and did bad party. but its ok i cannot judge them.. i think their problem are probably not easier and they are just different because there's other reason why they do it and beside it also level of their problem might so deep that they are in the wrong path. just if someday something bad happen because of what they are have done. i wish they are realise and effort towards making changes to love themself.

well... if mine only shed a tear at somewhere and take a deep breathe. but i think it is normal thing when a women crying of their problem... but doesn't mean i'm weak, just to expression what i feel and can reduces my mood be better... but yeah after it i really be fine. i do not want to be a burden when i share about my problem to my family or friends, because i know everyone have their own problem.

If i having a problem... slowly i'm trying solving it by myself without bothering people around me, beside it most other people are never responsible our own problem and we need to deal with the problems that we have in our life . except when i really heavy stress of course i need talking to someone who really i trust and exchanges ideas how to get solusion and what i should do.

In other thing... sometimes the funny thing and often, that when i have a problem in the same time.. i still can help my friends as i can, i still could give support to my friends when they has their problem too. i'm glad if they could accept my advice although i need support too... but sometime i did not hope. i will more happy if they could solve of their own problem... it's mean they can take responsible to themself and not dependent to other.

But so far i always try give support for myself because before i had experiences where at the time me really need support from my family.., but at the same time they are so busy... that's mean i need take responsible of myself how to face it alone. it make me how mature enough and also it make me less stop to complain at anything.... how to learn understand to ourselves although not yet completely, but i understand the things in lives.

There is no such thing as the perfect life , and problem makes who we are for another day. is not it ?!