How I overcame my FEARS of water and public speakingsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #positivity7 years ago

I don’t know whether I was born afraid of water, or whether I learnt to fear it.

To be more specific, I was afraid of putting my head underwater. I hated crowded swimming pools, with hoards of boys jumping and splashing and being boisterous. Being “dunked” wasn’t fun, a bit of a laugh, it was traumatic and upsetting.


Image from Pixabay

My first memory of swimming was being taken to swimming lessons with my younger brother. I was six and he was three.

The teacher was, shall we say, old school. This was in the 60s and children were still expected to be obedient. He stood on the edge of the pool with a long pole. Any child who didn’t obey instructions was pushed under with the pole.

Well, except me. No way was I going to be pushed under the water, so I just stood out of reach.

On this particular day, my little brother was the subject of his attention. He was pushed under the water and didn’t come up for what felt like an eternity. Mum and I were frozen with fear, thinking he had drowned.

Eventually he popped up safe and sound, and all seemed to be well. But we never went to swimming lessons again. I always thought Mum and I had been more traumatized than my brother, but he talked about it recently, and said it was years before he was comfortable being in water again. He had been a real water baby, so that was sad to hear.


Image from Pixabay

I have other memories of swimming pools, but the one that stands out was the school swimming sports when I was about 12. Because I would never put my head under water, I had never learnt freestyle and would only do breast stroke, with my head fully above water. So I REALLY didn’t want to enter the “Beginners Width” event, as I knew it would go badly. But the teacher didn’t take no for an answer and I was still a good girl then. Needless to say, by the time even the most inept freestyler had flailed their way to the other side of the pool, I was still only halfway across, breast stroking slowly along. In front of the entire high school. Enough said.

When I was in my thirties, I did a series of personal development courses called Turning Point. They are considered by some to be the precursors of what became Landmark Forum. As a result of the work we were doing, I decided it was time to face my fears and learn to swim properly. So I enrolled in an adult learn to swim class with a very understanding instructor who allowed me to go at my own pace.

I learnt to float, to do backstroke, and finally to “crawl”.

I even acclimatised myself to jumping into the pool from the side, something previously unimaginable. This started by standing on a ledge on the inside of the pool and jumping down a couple of inches, worked up to sitting on the side of the pool, and jumping from a sitting position, and eventually to jumping (well, maybe more slithering) into the pool from a standing position on the side of the pool.

I never got as far as learning to dive, and entering the water from a diving board is still out of the question. I’ll never be a water baby, I prefer looking at water to being on or in it. But I’m happy and proud that I overcame at least part of my antipathy to water, and can be much more comfortable in it.

There’s a warm-up song we sing in choir that makes me smile:

I have other tools in my tool kit now

I have some other ways to deal with fears, of which I seem to have had many over my lifetime. I’ve learnt that I don’t have to be incapacitated by my fears, and there are ways to move on.

My favourite tool is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), originally developed by Gary Craig, and now used by thousands of people all over the world. This involves tapping on meridian points while thinking about your issue (more abut that another time). I use this technique with clients in my healing practice, and have used it myself for my own fears.

For example, the thought of speaking in front of people used to be paralysing and I would do anything to avoid it.


Original image from Pixabay

I was a member of the Wellington Her Business network at the time, and I had committed myself to speaking in front of the group for 10 minutes, talking about my business. I was not filled with joy at the prospect, but knew I needed to do this. As I traveled into town on the bus, I tapped away, thinking of what was coming. It made a huge difference to how I felt, and the presentation went reasonably smoothly.

Although, as with water, I’m not a natural presenter, I’m much more comfortable being up in front of people now. I’ve given presentations on nutrition to many different groups, and I teach an exercise class for seniors with arthritis every week.


Image from Pixabay

I also used to be so afraid of spiders that I would run screaming from the room if I saw one. Although I would probably still freak out if one actually ran across me, I can happily co-exist in a room with most of them now. Maybe I’ll put it outside with the help of a glass and a piece of cardboard or maybe I’ll just leave him minding his own business in the corner. But it’s not a biggie any more. (Though it does have to be said that I live in New Zealand, where our spiders are mostly not very big or dangerous.)

There’s still work to be done, of course.

I haven’t driven for 20 years, and for various reasons it would be good if I could start to drive again. That will take some doing, but I’m in no rush. When the time feels right, I’ll get out my toolkit and get to work.

Thanks for reading.

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To read more about EFT now, visit my website

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I am scared of water too, it was like reading my story, the idea of putting my head under water would knock me scared. I'm 52 and still scared. When I was 18 I went to Benidorm when 3 boys grabbed my hands and arms and threw me in the deep end, If it wasn't for my friend jumping in and saving my life I wouldn't be here as I tried my hardest to get my head above the water but couldn't do it so gave up.

It's frightening that some people don't understand how a) dangerous or b) terrifying their actions sometimes are. I'm sorry you had that experience and glad you ARE still with us.

Thank you. They didn't stick around for long once I was back on my feet

Our stories and experiences...that's all we really have to share. i love that you are working through your fears by facing them, and love that you share here what works For you. may it inspire others to face their own troubles.

I come from a long line of women who never learned to swim. Me, my mother, my grandmother, my great-grandmother, etc. I even took two years of swimming lessons as a kid, and never learned to swim anything more than a basic and weak dog paddle. I can't stand to put my face in the water, or even have water splashed on my face. I think, in a previous life, something bad must have happened to me and my female line relatives regarding water, so I can definitely relate.

Public speaking, on the other hand, has never been an issue for me, and comes pretty naturally to me. I've been a member of Toastmasters International (a public speaking group), have done community theater, and have given numerous public talks. I kind of enjoy it. :)

Yes, a past life thing could explain why I afraid of water even before I had reason to be. Sticking with it for 2 years of lessons shows persistence!
I'm best speaking to a smaller group where I can look at and connect with each person. And I'm best to not have notes but just speak about what I know well, with a bit of a memory jogger from my slides. Not so keen on larger groups, though I don't mind dancing and singing (with others) in front of a full hall.

excellent post congratulations

Excellent post! I am also a fan of EFT. ~@honeyscribe

Thanks @honeyscribe - after what you've been through, I imagine you've had a lot of use for it! I've got a lot of other posts I want to write and one about EFT is on the list. After seeing your comment, I wondered if there might be interest in tapping sessions in the community, and have listed myself on Peerhub to find out.

Hi @kiwideb, just stopped by to let you know that I included this post in my Steemit Ramble today. You can read my comments here

Thanks a lot. I've picked up a few new people to follow from dipping into your rambles.

I know what you mean. I usually find a few more to follow each day.

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