Dealing with Our Negative Feelings, Emotions and Judgments: How to do it Better!
Let's face it: It's hard to stay #positive all the time. And it's not natural. So stop worrying about getting rid of #negativity in your life. You CAN'T! Instead, try to change how you RESPOND to negativity. Don't REACT so much; RESPOND!
Yes, I have heard that one can save a lot of energy (which then can be put to better use in accomplishing one's aim) by simply NOT GIVING EXPRESSION TO NEGATIVE EMOTIONS (even though one is feeling them). Simply observe them, acknowledge them but don't express them.
Am I on the right track?
True, just don´t react to negativity and try to not give as much attention to it.
I’ve certainly experienced this! I think every once in a while they need to be released, but to reinforce them on a daily basis is totally detrimental. I’ve felt so much better since I decided to stop shot talking with a certain friend who is always complaining.
Whether it's the "right" track or not, you're on a very similar track to how I look at it. My experience has been that whereas "negative" emotions are definitely real and authentic, they are often based on missing information and misinterpretation of something.
We reactively get angry at someone or something, but if we just take a moment to "sit with" that anger and observe the underlying "why," we often discover something about ourselves... and the person/thing who would have been the recipient of our anger is largely innocent. One of my spiritual teachers of long ago used to call it "reacting to a memory," (rather than the present moment).
I prefer not to give expression to a lot of negative stuff simply because... what does it resolve?
I just try to ignore it the best I can these days and not get caught up in the cycle, knowing it will pass. Not always easy cuz when you're in it you 're in it and it all seems real. But I know without a doubt that it will pass so I hang onto that. 😊
One of the things that has helped me a great deal is the insight that when we are "reactionary," a lot of times we are actually reacting to old memories, not to what's in front of us in the moment. We end up being furious at something... but it's actually related to some deceased aunt who said things a certain way, and the person we are speaking to is reminding us of that.
As you say, it will pass... and a moment of "wakefulness" will make us realize that we're not needing to get angry, at all.
Very true! 😊
These are gems. Question: why is it easier to REACT than to RESPOND?
Reactions are sort of like a reflex; like when you put your hand on the stove and jerk away when it's hot. There are no "thoughts" involved. Quick and easy.
Responding requires thought. And that takes time and effort. Or what some call "consciousness." Getting back to the stove, it's actually only hot 10% of the time; the rest of the time it's harmless.
Emotions work in a similar way; our self-preservation instinct makes us react, but reacting only makes sense a very small part of the time. But responding is a learned thing for most people.
REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) is all about that - knowing your feelings about some events, understand the consequences of your instinctive feelings, and replacing your instinctive feelings with a more rational ones. Cheers! : )
Ah yes, I remember some of that from years gone by. Most of my background is a mixture of psychology and years of studying various tenets of nonduality.
Cuddles are good....
Thank you for this little reminder @denmarkguy! :) It came at a perfect time! :D <3
You're welcome! Sometimes we just need little reminders to "stay awake."
The trick is not how to avoid negativity but its actually how to deal with it...
Very true, and that starts with developing self-awareness, so you don't just react mindlessly as situations arise.
there is ups and downs in life.
That is a fact!
you are absolutely right. we have some negativity in our life. it is nature. we can't change this. but if you keep pace with this situation you will be free mood. thank for sharing.
Coping with negativity generally starts with simply being aware of our feelings.
your thought really right.we have negative feeling of every thing.but all people keep mind fresh after coming positive feeling.this is a real truth in the world.i respect your thought.thank u very much for your good post sharing.. good job sir... @denmarkguy