Caring For A Dementia Parent With Grace

in #popcontest7 years ago

I thought I know it all. I thought I was prepared. I thought I was ready. I thought I understood the condition and progression of this disease. After I all, I read, and I research when my mother showed signs of dementia.

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Needless to say, what I know, what I read, and what I deal with on the daily basis with my mother is totally unpredictable and completely opposite. As soon as I can come up with a solution for a certain problem, another one pops up. It never ends!

At first, things were still manageable, and we can make jokes out of how we forgetting things. After she lost the realization of time and date, things just spiraled downward from then.

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In general, knowledge is powerful and prepared you for the long road ahead if you are taking care of an elderly parent. However, you must personally get to know the person on a very deep level, especially your parent's personalities, characters, and traits.

If they were difficult before, you can absolutely count on them being 10 times more difficult as the dementia progresses.

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Below is how I am learning to deal with my mother's dementia for the past five years:

  • BE TOTALLY FLEXIBLE
  • BE READY TO REPEAT YOURSELF AS MANY TIMES AS NEEDED, for the same question
  • KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY FROM A FRUSTRATED SITUATION
  • EXPECT SOME FORMS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL TOO
  • GET READY TO LOOK FOR MISSING ITEMS IN THE HOUSE
  • KEEP YOUR HEART AND MIND OPEN
  • TREAT THEM LIKE A TANTRUM 2 YEARS OLD
  • REMEMBER THEY ARE NOT THEMSELVES ANYMORE
  • So many things can happen in a blink of an eye with a dementia person. Moods swing is one of the most common and major ones. They have reversed back to being a child. Constantly need supervision, care, and love.

    I am positive that my mom doesn't want it this way, nor knowing what is happening to her either. My mentality remains in this one thought: *she took care of me before, now it is my turn to take care of her* with love, patience, and grace.

    Text and Photos @IcyBC All Rights Reserved!

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    I get what you're going through. I had the same situation with my grandparents. Stay strong and I wish you all the best!

    Thank you very much for your comforting words!

    Hugs my friend. That must be so hard.

    Thank you @melinda010100 ! It is hard and very stressful, but there is no other ways..

    This is a great post @icybc ! I cared for my mom for quite some time before she passed on, but it was not for dementia . It was diabetes related strokes etc. Its especially hard I think being a caregiver for someone so close to you as well . Thanks for sharing your story with us in my #popcontest , stay positive my friend . Sending lots of hugs ! Upped and resteemed !💕👍👍👍💕

    Thank you @karenmckersie for you continuing support..Caring for anybody is hard, doesn't matter what kind of illness it is. It can take a toll on you and leaves you depleted in every way.

    You are so right my friend and while raising two boys . My mom has passed on she was only 61, may she rest in peace . We still hold on to the precious memories of the past , its what keeps us going . I can not imagine how hard it must be with someone that has dementia . Sending lots of prayers and hugs .💕🙏🙏🙏🙏

    Thank you, Karen! My mom just turned 92 in October. Physically, she can't no longer perform the daily tasks; and mentally she can't remember or distinguish one thing from another..Your prayers are so needed, and deeply appreciated.

    Your very welcome!💕👍

    I am sorry, Icy :( I feel your pain. My grandma had the same illness before she passed away.M mom used to take care of her. I am sending hugs and healing prayers for your mom.

    Thank you sweet @bloghound...I am way pass praying for healing, but more on praying for her to have peace and comfort.

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    Hello @icybc
    We have given you our still tinnie-winnie upvote!
    You have been spotted by @bloghound to possess rare gem!

    So what can we do than to seal the deal, give you our tiny upvote and celebrate you, for everyone has something to offer.

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    #untalented is a branch of @steemgigs. If you would like to offer your service in building the dreams of other steemians, you can do so under #steemgigs.

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    Thank you very much!

    I'm in tears. Bless your heart, dear.
    Your mom is very lucky to have you by her side in times like this. Whenever you feel weak and discouraged, your mom's early memory with you and her love will keep you going. I wish you and whole fam well @icybc

    Thank you very much for your kind words and wishes! It is challenging and heart breaking to watch her deteriorating as each day goes by.

    I feel you. Must be really really hard.
    She may be weak physically and mentally but I'm certain that your mom's heart is overwhelmingly grateful for the love and support being given to her. Your intentions to make her feel good and loved is something she holds onto her life. ❤

    Doing this care is in many ways more difficult than raising a child.

    A child knows a lot of right and wrong, a dementia'd person doesn't.
    And the adult is bigger and stronger. So they can be more destructive and cause bigger problems.

    The biggest thing for you is getting days off. I hope you have someone who could give you a time out every once in a while.

    You are spot on about the difference between raising a child and caring for an adult. I can't discipline my mom, even when she threw the worst tantrum in public..All I can do is to bite my tongue, so to speak.

    I do have time off, but she is constantly and always in my mind! There is an existing war in there :-(

    I don't know if she's showing sign of this disease, but she's in her 80s... Need not just to prepare for it, I guess I have to live with it also. Thanks icyb!

    Whether or not she has the disease, she is getting older and will be weaker, so yes, you do need to take care of her. It is our duties! Thank you!

    just going to reply been pd out did not see this. I also made along post on dementia and Alzheimer my mom has it now at 92 very difficult for 10 years now

    My mom is also 92, and yes, it is very difficult! I think it is even more so than raising a child. Thank you!

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