Trumping decency, triggering old wounds

Did the last week or so of coverage of the U.S. presidential election trigger you? Welcome to the fast-growing community of sexual assault victims who are reliving their past traumas thanks to The Donald.

If you have been a victim (female or male) of someone else's depravity, the words of Donald Trump, caught on a hot mic eleven years ago, may have reminded you of how it felt to have someone use your body—perhaps violently—without regard for your feelings.

Did it infuriate you that Trump talked smugly about committing sexual assault with impunity—using his status to abuse women and get away with it?

Did it sicken you to hear some of what he has said about his daughter or about young girls?

What did your Truth Meter tell you when Trump asserted to Anderson Cooper that he had not done what he bragged about doing?

If you have been watching the women come forward to say Donald Trump actually did commit sexual assault, you may have applauded the courage that took, because you know how Trump lashes back in a minimizing way at anyone who criticizes or opposes him.

After hearing the Trump Tapes, writer Kelly Oxford (@kellyoxford) vented on Twitter:

> Women, tweet me your first assaults. They aren’t just stats. I’ll go first.

Using the hashtag #notokay, millions of women responded. For the first 14 hours, sexual abuse survivors tweeted at a minimum rate of 50 per minute. Were you one of them?

Did you nod along when you listened to Michelle Obama say the following:

> I can't stop thinking about this. It has shaken me to my core in a way I could not have predicted.

Have you read the description of a woman talking with friends in a crowded nightclub when she suddenly felt a man’s hands slide up her leg and touch her vagina? This alleged encounter demonstrates what Trump bragged about on the tape: he can kiss and grope women without their permission, and NOTHING HAPPENS except that the woman springs away from the unwanted touching, realizes that the groper is famous, and does nothing except tell her friends.

NOTHING HAPPENS, until years later the man is running for president and denies groping women, despite the stories that had already surfaced well before the tape release. One point worth noting about this particular woman is that The Washington Post says it contacted her after someone else who had heard her story at the time disclosed it to The Post following the second presidential debate. The woman reportedly agonized for several days over whether she should go public. This runs counter to Trump’s claim that these women are seeking 15 minutes of fame.

Honestly, if you wanted fame, is this how you would seek it?

How many women must come forward before Trump’s labeling them all liars will seem ridiculous to even the most ardent Trump supporter? How many did it take with Bill Cosby before the press began to practice journalism?

If you did get triggered this week and you’re having trouble processing it on your own, talk to someone about it, whether it’s a friend or relative you’re emotionally close to, a therapist, or the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-4673). Just becoming aware that the tape release and its aftermath triggered me helped me deal with it. (However, it’s been a strange, mostly unproductive week.)

Know, too, that time is inexorable: the election will soon be over, unless we’ve all fallen into some strange time warp. The ridiculously long run of a spoiled, selfish, destructive child will, I hope, end soon after, along with the impunity he has enjoyed until now.

Sources: these and many others:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-recorded-having-extremely-lewd-conversation-about-women-in-2005/2016/10/07/3b9ce776-8cb4-11e6-bf8a-3d26847eeed4_story.html

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/10/11/497530709/one-tweet-unleashes-a-torrent-of-stories-of-sexual-assault

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/10/13/politics/michelle-obama-donald-trump-election-2016/index.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/woman-says-trump-reached-under-her-skirt-and-groped-her-in-early-1990s/2016/10/14/67e8ff5e-917d-11e6-a6a3-d50061aa9fae_story.html

https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline

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