There's no specific story behind it, I just feel it almost everyday. You see, I'm not a happy person, but I don't consider myself depressed at all, it's complicated, maybe these two help you understand better:
https://steemit.com/poetry/@pigatto/peregrine-an-original-poem
https://steemit.com/poetry/@pigatto/this-counterfeit-of-mine-an-original-poem