Libitina [a poetry piece]

static
your mocking cruelty launches an assault upon my senses
I sense
a rupture in my identity,
seemingly irreparable

a vile joke
circling like a host of seagulls
in the blood red skies
their wasted cries rain upon the earth
and deems the seashells empty

filth
makes its way through my veins
pumping with a thousand symptoms of withdrawal
it's tempting to fall back
into
the
same
old
t o x i c p a t t e r n s
where you insensitively recall a remark

"you look like the lovechild of me and my former lover":
a mere remark
a line of text
the thought process of those who feel the urge to defile
in more ways than one

arrhythmia
shortage of breath
uncontrollable rage
acute panic
terror
the siren of my convoluted crying
and my spiraling trajectory

of (in) h u m a n e m o t i o n s

submerged in hot water and ancient blood
I turn to face myself in the glass
and envision a surface of stolen personalities
that have been forced upon me;
inducing a mad fever
and itching
to claw away what's left of me

yet
me
a kaleidoscope of stages
experienced by all of creation
I look
nothing like you
or your long string of hollow lovers

I
look like the ocean you can never dare swim in,
the fire-laced waves would turn you into ash;
I
look like the unappreciated art-piece in a desolate gallery
seducing a generation of raggedy-looking poets
more beautiful than you can ever be.
I
look like the phantom of the woman you will never be able to submerge,
with constructed hallucinations or manipulated memories-

no matter how many pigmented flowers bloom
no matter how many loved ones you bury.

[[As I have only anguished words to offer, my first Steemit post is a poem I wrote at the height of my own disintegration]]