In actuality, it's not a haiku at all. In truth, I hardly ever write haiku. I find it easier to reference it as such, but, as with this piece, I typically have no intention of following the strict rules associated with haiku vs the more free 5-7-5 style of senryu. Your critique, while observant, is not entirely applicable. That being said, I can understand your perspective on movement. I'll take that into consideration next time. Thanks for the comment.