Two drops of the same water / My first attempt of writing a poem
I've never thought that my very first poetical thoughts will come to me in English, the language I'm still trying to understand, to feel its soul, I love listening to its music, but constantly feel lacking something important to be able to get deeper.
However, last night, after a poetry class held by Steem Schools Discord channel, particularly these two poems: ''My beloved Valencia'' by @girlbeforemirror and a very touching poem of @tygertyger written for her ''friend Mica, who happened to be a dog'', I wouldn't stop thinking about my brother and I bonded forever by our childhood room, toys, our world of dreams and adventures. And all of a sudden, a poem appeared in my head, I guess, I got to meet my Muse )
I woke up this morning, seeing this poem differently, so I've changed the beginning, anyway, you get to see the final version of the noob's piece )
We're tears of a cloud,
Becoming a million shiny pieces
When we hit the ground.
Remember, being gently spread
across someone's face?
Desire for moving forward
Saturates young plants...
Or knocking to a window,
We are autumn's heart;
Doesn't matter what we do,
The point is side by side.
English is my language and I don’t think I could write as good a poem. Well done great post keep up the good work.
Thank you so much! You know, I love the English language, I enjoy listening to people speaking it, there was a moment when it entered my heart, and I don't think I can imagine myself without English in my life anymore...
Ha! and you said you cannot write! This is amazing especially because it is not your mother tongue and your first piece :) you need to read it on friday <3
you're spying on me, Tyger ))) ahaha, yeah, I was so full of emotions yesterday, it's all you guys! Thanks for your words! Your comment is the first critique of my noob's work
:)
привет хороший друг стихотворения и многое другое, если это не ваш язык, вы прилагаете большие усилия! Спасибо, что поделились! @liverussian
А вы очень хорошо говорите по-русски! Спасибо, друг ) очень приятно видеть комментарий на русском языке!
This post has been selected for curation by @msp-curation by @sunravelme. It has been upvoted and will be featured in this week's Working Title post. It will also be considered for the official @minnowsupport curation post and if selected will be resteemed from the main account. Feel free to join us on Discord!
Oh, wow! I'm genuinely grateful to you guys for doing what you do - inspiring authors to continue creating, giving them a feeling of being needed here, in the community, it's priceless! Thank you @sunravelme, I'm deeply touched by your attention to my soul!
@acousticsteveo, @carmalain7, @d-pend , @geekorner , @girlbeforemirror, @hartfloe, @hazem91, @mamadini,@pingcess, @whack.science, @yahialababidi BEHOLD!our baby bird has left the nest!
Haha welcome @liverussian to the other side :))
This is great!
Wow! Didn't know I was crossing the line )))
Yeaay
I miss one class and all this happens!
I'll stop addending the classes if that helps you write @liverussian
I love your style by the way
Get the attention of the reader and you only reveal what the poem is about in the last lines!
Oh, haha, continue attending classes and continue writing poems, Hazem!!!!!! You do it your original way... And I'm touched by your words!!!!! So so much!
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If you hadn’t told us this was your first poem ever, let alone in English, I would have thought you’d always been a poet. This is a lovely, sweetly moving homage to your shared childhood.