The Sensual Search
Fall on earthy contours
She searches passing seas
For the depths they claim to hold.
The urchins in the galleries
Can shield her from the torrents,
So she up and puts them downward
To protect her from the cold.
She searches in the twilight
For the hideosities,
But is blinded by the searchlight
Through the tenements laid bare.
So closing eyes progressing
'Til the world exists in noises,
She searches for the laughter
In the twinkle graveyard air.
And then the sun is calling,
From a path of golden ritual,
Burning flower ashes
Wake the birds to sleepy cry.
To her ears, her hands meander
To deafen out the songing
So she searches using feelers
On space as yet denied.
And tickled are her fingerprints
Stretch out on surface rough,
As she searches over nature's brail
For scripture wise and old.
And passes on for such a time
A red stain on her tips,
And snagging craggy undertones
So palmward bound they fold.
And follow then the wafting smells
Stroke gently over lip,
She searches now with snuffle nose
For thoughts that make her sigh.
Yet the tunes are harshly found
To crinkle fleshy brows,
So she searches then with tastebuds
For the wanton and the wise.
Sumptuous, delectable,
Shallow reasoning,
Collects at mouthful corners
Turning downwards in distaste.
And hurried toothy closing,
Surrender to the game, now
She searches for an exit sign
To leave this sorry place.
Original poem by @johleen
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Ugh! Such vivid imagery. I can't even.. wow! This is the type of writing you just can't practice. It's the fruit of all your experiences and your natural talent. The way you painted the picture, the way you depicted the emotions through the actions. Simply brilliant!
I'm fighting my urge to review the technicality because I feel it would take away from the wonder of the piece. Although I must commend you for the way you broke the lines apart. So carefully though out, without being too meticulous. You really transport the reader to the bottom of the ocean. As a seasoned diver, I should know because everything you narrated is what I feel whenever I go underneath.
If I wasn't already a fan of you before reading this, this post would solidify it! Magnificent job, my friend! :D
Aw thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful comment! Wow you're a seasoned diver?? As in, you wear one of those tubs of oxygen with tubes and swim deep down in the ocean? Very cool!
This is another old piece of mine. It's nice to be digging these things out to post when they haven't seen the light of day for years. :)
Oh wait, did I say seasoned? I meant seasonal, as in I only dive on a number of occasions hahaha! But, if 6 or so dives is already considered seasoned, then I gladly accept my old sea dog title with aplomb haha! My country is surrounded by the ocean, so diving spots are quite accessible.
Woah! Then I was right and you've had the gift all along! What did I tell you about those things.. like fine wine ;)
Oh hahaha! Yes, well compared to my count of zero that's definitely seasoned to me! yeah the waters around the UK aren't great diving material... I don't think... never really looked into it though!!
Aw thank you again :)
Every country has its ups and downs, diving seems to be one of mine haha! Extreme heat, only two seasons (Summer or Rainy), weak currency are some of the drawbacks here, so yeah. Pretty balanced if you ask me!
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Thanking you kindly... :)
Very powerful flow and imagery
Cheers. :)