SteemitPoetryContest #13 - Thirteen Witches Meet For Coven Time
Coven - A Meeting Of Witches
~
At one with the Night
But hidden from the Day
On a broom take Flight
Onward the witches Way
Tooth of tiger eye of Snake
Say a curse of powerful Trouble
In the cauldron boil and Bake
Watch the broth of hell Bubble
Steeping stewing a wicked Brew
Smoking liquid a deadly Smell
Last in wing of bat that once Flew
Full moon medley a devilish Spell
~
copyright2018 steemit.com/@isteemithard - image source
Whats A Coven
A coven usually refers to a gathering or meeting of witches. Although the number of persons involved may vary most spells consider three or thirteen to be ideal, but any group of at least three witches can be a coven.
This is my entry in @terrycraft's Steemit Poetry Contest 13
Rules of The Contest!
- Only one entry is allowed.
- Your entry-post must be tagged both #poetry and #poetrycontest
- The Title must be "SteemitPoetryContest #(with the number of the actual episode)" + the name of your poem.
- You can use any types of rhyme - End rhyme, Cross rhyme, Internal etc.
- The size of the poem - three quatrains (one quatrain = four lines).
- Do not steal! The contest is only original works!
If you would like some help with writing or poetry check out Isle of Write on Discord
art and flair courtesy of @PegasusPhysics
I'm totally impressed, especially if you say you're not used to writing poetry. The rhyming is harmonious and works well. You kept the theme consistent, cauldron, conjuring/brewing a spell.
Even though it's quite good, doesn't mean it cannot be improved. Here is my feedback:
I would consider cutting "the" off before night and day. Say it out loud and see if you like it better: "At one with night, but hidden from day". Both are correct, think about it, but you can keep it as it is - it really depends your emphasis and how it sounds to you.
Secondly, I would avoid capitalising the first letter of each line, and the first letter of each rhyme. The rhyme is obvious, you do not need to force it with capitals. Let your poetry do the work, it's good.
Along with that comment, use more punctuation. "tooth of tiger, eye of snake". It would help the reader knowing where he has to pause (in a line, or between lines, punctuation helps everywhere).
Some of the lines seem to be rhyme-led (i.e. you are structuring or saying them only to fit the rhyme). I usually really challenge this and critique it, but for a beginner's effort, it's decent AND the contest requires a rhyme, so it's not totally your choice. Not a huge fan of the fourth lane (onwards the witches way). Likewise, the first two lines of the last stanza could do some rework. For instance, when spoken out loud, the word 'deadly' seems a bit different than the sentence, it sounds harsh, especially when compared to what you are saying: brewing, liquid, smoke, smell.
I hope this helped you, and I hope it has not discouraged you at all. It is a great work, especially for beginners. I will be looking forward to reading more from you :)
This is the opposite of discouraging this helps me to stimulate the brain cells that have been so dusty lately. I will take all of this into consideration and keep this as the original post to help me remember my beginings and re-post it as a non entry with my edits as appreciation.
That's a great idea! And I agree, mistakes aren't there to be erased, but so that we can learn from them.
Wow!! This is poetry appreciation at its best. Wouldn't mind if you could critique mine. It helps to get another literati's thoughts. Here is the link to my entry.
https://steemit.com/poetrycontest/@odochydanielle/steemit-poetry-contest-13-the-dark
Have done so! I hope you appreciate the feedback, I have done my utmost to be encourging yet critical.
Oh I really really appreciate. You are the best.
Oh! Read mine. Read mine, please????
https://steemit.com/poetrycontest/@evah1245/steemit-poetry-contest-13-in-the-coven
I will. I am editing my video as I speak. I will come and check it out as soon as I am done uploading :)
K. Patiently Waiting
Great work! This sure is a fun topic to write about. I always think of the Witches from Macbeth.
"Fair is foul and foul is fair. Hover through the fog and filthy air."
You got some word-skills!
Thanks I haven't heard of Macbeth since high school days will have to do some reading up on other works.
great, I sure could smell some brewing spells
@candyman I see you haven't made a post yet how about a poem to start off?
I love peotry that could be perceived, felt and seen. Great job here
Your post was fresh.You were innocent. I sent you some compansation.
https://steemit.com/life/@firedream/grumpy-cat-strikes-again-at-least-some-payback
Please resteem for help to stop the bully actions of @grumpycat
FD.
For so me one who hasn't entered a poetry contest, this one is going to be a sure win for you... I'm actually feeling very jealous of your writing skills at the moment... I'm going to need lessons and tips from you...
I must confess this is a totally great piece... One of the few good ones I've seen... You should also check out @chrisroberts he's also a great writer.. I envy you all... Nice work
ah yes I saw his entry to this contest as well and really enjoyed it.
Release the Kraken! You got a 25.05% upvote from @seakraken courtesy of @isteemithard!
Great poem.. this is very nice