Steemit Poetry Contest #13 :"In The Coven"
Steemit Poetry Contest #13 : "In The Coven"
Preamble:-
This is my first attempt on steemit contest but not my first attempt at poetry. Poetry has always provided me the best medium to express my feelings. That's the very reason I jumped at the chance to participate in the poetry contest organized by @terrycraft. So, here it is. Hope I win.
Title :- In The Coven
In the coven,
Where the witches gather,
Sits their cauldron atop a wildfire
Over and over it boils.
In the coven where they gather,
Spells are cast,
Mantras are chant,
And malicious intents are voiced.
Witchy witchy witches
Under the cover of darkness
Shrieking fear into human hearts
From their dreaded coven.
About The Poem
A poem of witches in their coven where they gather to do what witches do best: casting spells, chanting mantras, shrieking fear etc into the hearts of men. A poem of twelve lines.
Okay, so, overall I like the poem. The structure of it is well-presented: they meet in their cover, brewing something, chanting spells, and presumably shrieking fear.
Disclaimer: In no way or form my critique is professional, although I try to be.
The first stanza can be a bit confusing. When I think of "wildfire", I think of the wildfire forests, not a 'wild fire' that you put under a cauldron. Secondly, the last line is an extra. You could split the third line into two, and it would have more power. Saying that it is boiling does not necessarily add value, especially since we expecting anything brewing/cooking in a cauldron to be boiling.
The second stanza is good, although I would put the last line as the second or third, and restructure it. As it is, two lines are short, two are longer, the flow isn't as even. Furthermore, always try to leave an impact with the last line, and I feel the other two lines do that better.
I'm not a huge fan of the third stanza. The first line seems that you had no idea what to say, so you wrote that. The 'cover of darkness', is a good description. I would enjoy more if you make the reader fear, why is the coven dreaded? I shouldn't have to think, oh it's a witch, spooky. The poem should be able to say, "If you say the witches, you would be so terrified that you would turn pale". Make me shiver. Make me bite my nails.
Having said that, it is still a good attempt, and I understand the constraints of lengths (and possibly rhymes) in contests/challenges make it harder. I, for one, am sure my poem could also use improvement. So, please, do not feel discouraged by my lengthy critique - if anything, be encouraged to continue to write and improve. That's the way of the poet.
Thanks. Appreciate the analysis. Been long since I had someone else read my poem. I'm glad you like my poem. Corrections noted. Appreciate
You're welcome. I wouldn't call them corrections, because I might as well be wrong, they are merely suggestions :P Always go for the maximum impact emotionally, wherever you feel it might not be achieving it, rewrite. That's my tip. It could be that a reader doesn't capture the emotional intensity you observe, so value your opinion more than mine :)
Yeah. One thing a poet knows is that poetry is subject to interpretation. The way one reader perceives it differs from another poet's perception of it. That's why we appreciate poetry. Poetry has long since moved from the era of meters and rhymes to more prosaic and narrative forms. Thus , the poet has much words at his disposal and his thoughts aren't restricted. Thanks. Appreciate. For reading and analysing