Return to The Garden
A wave of matter and form.
I surge, I crest, I touch.
I break,
I recede,
I'm touched.
These dark waters of me and mine ebb and flow, recumbent and slumbering, raging and limitless.
I am self contained yet without bounds.
I long to be shaped, as I retreat from your touch.
I am dashed by your body.
We make beautiful paintings in the air, droplets prisming light.
The waves crash against a rocky cliff.
The cliff stands proud and tall.
Unbreaking, it has withstood the waves.
Unbending, it has born an empty lighthouse like a finger in the eye of God.
A basalt foundation bearing the weight of uncaring skies,
a lonely sentinel withstanding the fates.
Come! it shouted at the world.
Come, it urged the ships.
Come, it invited the birds and the bees.
Come, it whispered to the winds.
And cliff, and lighthouse, stood lonely and tall.
And darkness, and cold, and waves, would draw none near.
Draw none here.
None, but an Angel.
An Angel with a Sword of Flame.
The Promethean Spark of you has lit a bonfire within.
A lighthouse to disperse the mists of Ever-sleep.
A lighthouse to banish the sleet of solitude.
Blinding rays of light shoot forth from my sea-foam green eyes,
alerting passing sails, marauding ships,
telling them a stake has been made,
the cliff had been claimed.
The lighthouse now stands manned.
An Angel has been Named.
Beyond the ocean,
guarded by the lone cliff, by the lighthouse, by the Ever-Spinning Flame, a garden exists.
A garden for two,
a garden for me and you.
A garden for beautiful paintings in the air to be enjoyed.
A garden for sweet and warm waters to lap at merged souls.
A garden for the Angel to kneel.
A garden where a snake will not bite the heel.
A garden spoken of in lore.
A garden once barred, now opened,
Forevermore.
This poem is inspired by, written for, and dedicated to @mamadini. She, and you lot now, know how I feel.
Thanks to the Isle of Write members and others who helped me chisel at it to its present form. Love, for one and all.
art and flair courtesy of @pegasusphysics
In case you're not familiar with it, the piece used is The Creation of Adam, by Michaelangelo, which is the center piece for the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, 1508-1512.
::BLUSH::
I think your poetic voice is masterful! Some of It really reminds me of Rumi as I've already said to you.
What a wonderful thing that you are swimming in the waters again, look at these pearls you are bringing forth and sharing.
Bravo, Guy. <3
And, Thank you, thank you everso.
Aside from everything else I must thank you for, I must also thank you for Rumi. I have never heard of him, or any of his work, before you brought him up.
I was quite surprised, after listening to him, and listening to him again, and re-reading this piece, how much the themes seemed to align. I guess that speaks to Rumi's greatness, that from 700 years away, he can speak to the universality, yet the very personal nature of these feelings.
And the pearls, they are all for you. I think you're the one others should be thankful for sharing <3
I think my favorite line is:
recumbent and / slumbering
Really nice work. Powerful.
Actually, there's no line-break there.
It keeps bothering me how Steemit just isn't wide enough to account for wide lines, and in the case of poetry, people often think it's a line-break I meant :(
This piece has punctuation for all line-breaks.
And thank you, I know that repetition is often frowned upon, but in this piece, most of the "at" and "to" and such that were left in, as well as that line in particular, were done so to draw things on. To give things time.
And I'm glad you liked it! And the power, well, it's my most personal piece yet, poetry or prose wise. And my longest too. It had to come out.
This poetry left me with a taste of epic gait and discovery of something lost in time.. evocative and solemn.
Once lost, but now found. I hope. That's the theme, hopefully :3
Mmm now that's how its done!
"telling them a stake has been made,"
"An Angel has been Named."
Definitely my favorite lines, just how that whole stanza flowed felt right.
It's weird, the stanzas I worry over the most, that feel the least flowing to me, are often the ones people like the most.
Perhaps because they're the core of the piece, so I feel the most self-conscious about them, and over how much meaning is imbued therein.
I'm glad you liked it!
Yes that's usually the way it goes. And then the poem you thought little of, people are loving, and vice versa. The Struggle!
Young Steemian love... <3
^_^
Please reply to this comment if you accept or decline.
Accept, but more than the nomination (which is touching, truly!), I'd love to hear your thoughts :)
I adore that it is a love poem without falling into cliche, that you use religious imagery without tripping into preaching. I think you walk the various lines you laid out here beautifully!
Ah, the smell of fresh critique in the morning, and a positive one at that.
Thank you :)
I have noticed, after I've gone over my entire body of poetry and prose from 2002-2009, that I tend to use religious imagery quite a bit. Probably comes from having mandatory Old Testament studies from 2nd grade through the 12th. And as I'm a Jewish Atheist, I'm not one to preach. I guess I should thank my cultural background for that :)
It just feels almost wrong to not use religious imagery in my pieces anymore.
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© Guy Shalev 2018.
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Friggin' cool. Love it. <333