Forty and Floundering (with introductory commentary)
Introduction
While sitting at home watching the television, have you ever thought this to yourself?
Or perhaps while sitting at your desk at the office with your head buried in your hands, have you ever wonder quietly or aloud to yourself?
What the hell am I doing with my life?!
Some people call it a mid-life crisis. I prefer to think of it as the mind's natural defense mechanisms kicking in. It's trying to tell us something. Perhaps that there still is more to experience in life. Not to settle down just yet. Or that maybe our full potential is far from reached.
If you're still young, this may all sound quite silly to you. If you are in about your mid-life, like I am starting to feel, this can be serious stuff. It can affect your well being and health.
I've been hearing mid-life calling for a couple of years now. I think it's partly the reason why I'm here on Steemit now. Something's not quite right in life and as such it's human nature to try to understand why. Perhaps it's all part of the process in searching for answers to profound questions like what is the meaning of life.
Who knows for sure? But it inspired me to write the following poetry along with this rambling preamble. Please feel free to comment below. I'd love to hear how others have navigated through this part of your lives.
Forty and Floundering
Hollow satisfaction greets me each day
Life's purpose deceptively eludes
I hear the laughing of a lunatic's mocking smile
Watching me flounder
Desperate to find my place among the satisfied
The heckling of discontent continues
The beckoning lunatic says
I'll see you in a while
Recognizing my own malcontent
Determined to take action and change course
Pulling on levers only find out they are strings
Each attempt without teeth
Fails and I end up where I began
Like an endless labyrinth
Walking for miles
Getting nowhere fast
I hear the clock of life ticking and ticking
My chest pounds ferociously
My heart is sinking
I am a hamster on a wheel
The wheel of indebted existence
I run never daring to step off the wheel
In order to keep life's wolves at bay
Responsibilities to others
Obligations to the state
Choice seems all but an illusion
Perhaps I am resolved to my fate
Free In Thought, 2017
Images are from Pixabay - CC0 Public Domain unless noted
Writing is original - Always
The American Dream is just that, a dream, until you make the decision to act. To make it real, you have to act your part. You've also got to begin with the end in mind. Where do you want to go? Once you know where you'd like to go, it's just a matter of deciding how to get there, and there are many ways. After that, in everything that you do or don't do, you've got to ask yourself one question: Does (doing/not doing) this get me closer to my goal, my destination? If yes, proceed sir. If not, move on. Good luck!
Well said! I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said. The difficulty, of course, is putting it all into practice. It can be hard to have the discipline to stick to the game plan sometimes. And this gets even more complex when you add others into the mix of your decision making, such as spouse and family obligations.
Thanks for commenting...
Love this! I know a lot of people who get this around their 30's too.
I have clarity on my overall direction and vision but on a micro level - as in what I do right now to feed that vision, I am absolutely lost! And I look at other people in my industry who all seem to have their shit together and I think - what's wrong with me? Why can't I just get clear? Why can't I focus on one thing? Why can't I know what direction to go in?!
It's so tough.... but I certainly see the 'mid-life' crisis as a beautiful realisation. Where your soul has had enough of the fakery, of the 'security' of following the crowd. And it yearns for more now. More depth. More authenticity.
But perhaps part of this process is to first get lost. I think it's almost compulsory!! The old world has to crumble before the new world can be built. The old beliefs, comforts, behaviours and so on... all that which no longer serves the new stuff that is coming.
Like the caterpillar turning into the butterfly, we first have to endure the cocoon, during which everything literally gets mushed up!!
I hope - as I do for myself and anyone going through this - that clarity will come for you :) <3 I the meantime, I'm trying to enjoy the lostness!
Thanks for taking the time to write such a beautiful comment. You managed to inspire a sense of hope for those still muddling through the acceptance phase of this part of life. Much appreciated!
I am following you now. Perhaps you have more words of wisdom tucked away on your page. Looking forward to them!
Thank youuu <3 yes, plenty more where that came from heheh xx
I'm sitting on my couch,
And I'm wondering why.
I'm scrolling on steemit,
And I let out a sigh.
I come across a post,
That tells my tale,
I'm floundering bait fish,
That dreams it's a whale.
Something's gotta change,
Before I'm done.
Life floating by,
I'm not the only one.
What should I do?
Where should I turn?
As I sit and wait,
My insides churn.
Is it to late for me to learn?
Awesome thoughts. Thanks for sharing. We can do it. I really believe our dreams can come true. It's so refreshing to hear from others who sometimes wear the same shoes as I.
https://steemit.com/poetry/@girlbeforemirror/fellow-steemit-freeinthought-inspired-me-today