SteemitPoetryContest #13 - The Doll
This poem won 1st place in Steemit Poetry Contest # 13! Thanks so much to @terrycraft for hosting such a fun community building contest and supporting poetry on Steemit :) Place your entry in this week's contest here: https://steemit.com/poetrycontest/@terrycraft/steemit-poetry-contest-14-winners-of-13
Greetings everyone! This is my entry in the Steemit Poetry Contest #13, hosted by @terrycraft.
This is an awesome weekly contest, come check it out! Follow this link to enter, read, and support poetry on Steemit: https://steemit.com/poetrycontest/@terrycraft/steemit-poetry-contest-13-winners-of-12
This week's theme is witches/covens (which, as @chrisroberts correctly pointed out, is spooky enough to be right "in my comfort zone") :D
The Doll
The one you love most is the last you'd suspect,
but a doll in your likeness, with pins in its neck,
tucked away in the back of a drawer in her vanity's
not a good sign: you question her sanity.
A tickle in your throat makes you cough as you look
through cupboards, closets, boxes, and books...
In the pantry: carved with strange sigils there stands
a broom, made of real wood, polished by hand,
unnoticed before. Now restless, you keep
waking only to search features softened by sleep.
One night, catlike, she'll rise with the moon
and fly to the sky on her polished wood broom!
©2018 Bennett Italia
@bennettitalia, to say the truth, it's a nice poem
Thanks @sammynathaniels! Glad you liked it. Following :)
This has got so many layers.
:D probably because I found the story that I wanted to tell to be too long for the format dictated by the contest... so I had to find shorthands for pretty much everything. Thanks for reading!
this was a great entry. I love that stanzas keep going together and there are no abrupt stops. You took the constraints of the contest and made them abide by your poetic vision. I appreciate that you did not force rhymes, and it felt quite natural.
One of my favourites line is the "she'll rise with the moon". Not only does it give her a supernatural feel, but also a genius way to describe night-time.
Thanks for these thoughtful comments @poetrybyjeremy... yes, that's exactly it, I found myself chafing at the rigid structure, so played with it a bit to make it fit what I wanted to say. I didn't fully notice it until you pointed it out tho ;)
"rise with the moon" is one of my favorite lines too :)
Well, you should be taking full credit of that. Your unconscious mind is smart as well then :P
But of course the broom would have been polished by hand :-) Wonderfully done, Sir.
Hah! Yes, of course it would :)
Thanks for your comments, and for noticing the subtext.
Following you :)
You are very genius .. your post is very profitable for me .. for me make an example in my post. Thank you for sharing post ..
You're very welcome. Thanks for your kind comments, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Following.
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