You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
RE: Friday Afternoon (an original poem by @sumatranate).
I'm not usually a big fan of gerunds in poetry, but I think the short line lengths works with them here in this first stanza as it gives an added emphasis to the active and the actions.
Like the alliteration at the end of that second stanza, makes it feel a bit limerick-y which I think fits the subject well.
It may be short, but - at least in my experience - this captures my Friday afternoon after a long and difficult work week perfectly.
Plus, often the strongest poems are those that manage to say exactly what they need to say in as little words as possible. That feels like something that was accomplished here in this poem.
Thank you for sharing, Nate, and Happy Friday!
Hope you have a relaxing weekend, my friend.
Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. I have not studied poetry as much as I should have, but I find a lot of my thoughts flowing out in rhyme and alliteration lately.
Thanks for giving me a technical perspective on what I am doing. Sorry that my poetry is not more technical.
hey mate, no apologies necessary! You can always tell when people have a good ear for sound and music when they write poetry and find some of those 'technical' approaches by feel - says a lot about you as a writer.
Always happy to give you a more technical read, my friend, and no apologies necessary - I honestly wouldn't comment if I didn't enjoy the read. People who get bogged down in the technicalities often lose touch with how to relate to others in their writing - it's a gift, and I think you have it.
Then I am very glad that you comment. I have appreciated your thoughtfulness.
My work is very technical, but I have alway enjoyed creating songs. I guess I am giving both right and left brain a work out.