Baby crying on the plane, should parents be defamed?

Some time ago, a video fired.
On the evening of October 7, a baby was crying on the flight from Kuala Lumpur to Wuhan. A young man and woman can't stand it, and yelling at the child's mother, "Trouble you to take care of the child, thank you."
The child's mother is angry and looks back. "I have been in charge. You two are not moral. I hope that you will not have children for a lifetime."

The video came out, and the comments below were divided into two factions.

One party supports the shouting party, is it great to have a child? I am not born. Is the baby so small to take the plane? Do not take the door if you can't control it. It is your fault to bring out the door and disturb others. That mother should apologize, how can I be jealous of others.

The other faction supports the mother. She is already in charge, but the little baby is crying, sometimes it can't help. The mother is already very upset and stressed. Isn’t the accusation not to find fault? Why can't you go out with a baby? Public facilities are everyone's. You are sitting on a private jet.

The two factions disputed each other, each advocated moral laws, invoked international practices, and made various suggestions.

But to be honest, "the crying children on the plane" is a common problem in the world. And the solution is not "don't go out if you don't manage well", "you can't stand it, don't go out" is as simple as that.

- Baby crying is not good, but "the person who accuses the baby crying" is worse -

The party who accuses parents often feels why they are not ready to go out again.

However, most people really don't know what preparations they have to make. If you are flying with a baby, what rules do you need to follow? How can we "get as little trouble as possible around people"?

These problems, even the airlines do not have a standard answer - flight attendants can usually only advise parents to manage the larger children, sit down, don't worry, don't kick the front seat back. If the child is too much, the flight attendant may distribute earplugs to the surrounding passengers or assist them to switch to a far-away seat. If a small baby suddenly burst into tears, it is up to the parents and flight attendants to respond. Without a clear code of conduct, interpersonal conflicts are inevitable.

United Airlines had such a thing last year. On September 25, 2018, Krupa Bala and her husband and eight-month-old son flew from Sydney to San Francisco, business class. During the flight, her son also began to cry, and Bara couldn’t help himself.

After a while, a flight attendant came over and said to Barra, "United's Aircraft Rules Manual stipulates that the baby must not cry for more than 5 minutes. Now this behavior is absolutely unacceptable, and the crew feels a lot of pressure. ""

Barra is furious, do you know how hard it is for new parents to travel with their children? When I am trying to marry a child, do you need to blame me? The rule book "Children crying no more than 5 minutes" comes up to see it?

Barra immediately bought the on-board wifi service and wrote down her own experience to Facebook (she was working on Facebook). This topic immediately caused a hot discussion on social networks. When Bala’s flight arrived in San Francisco, United Airlines had already apologized to Barra, refunding their ticket to the family and promised to conduct an internal investigation into the matter.

In this case, the mother with the child wins.

Another case occurred on February 6, 2018, before the departure of the Delta flight from New York to Syracuse.

The little baby, 19-year-old mother Marissa Rundell, cried. Sitting near the passenger Susan Peirez was upset, first yelling at the mother and son, and then asked the flight attendant to change to a seat away from the baby. After the flight attendant told me that he could not change seats, Perez said to the flight attendant, "Maybe you will not work tomorrow."

The bad luck of Perez began. She was taken off the plane because she threatened the flight attendant. In addition, her behavior on the plane was also photographed by the mother and sent online. Not long after, Perez lost her job. Her employer, the New York State Arts Council, believes that state employees should meet high standards of professional ethics and personal quality, and Perez is not qualified.

In this case, the mother with the child is still winning.

Whether it is an airline or an online public opinion, it is more on the side of the mother with children. Most people think that it is not good for a baby to cry, but "the person who accuses the baby crying" is even worse.

-Baby is really easy to cry on the plane -

The unfortunate truth is that babies are really easy to cry on the plane.

Hungry and crying. Sleepy and crying. The temperature on the plane is not suitable (too cold and too hot), crying. The smell in the cabin was not good, crying. The outside of the window is too bright, crying. I feel scared and crying to strangers and strange places. I really want to go outside and be trapped in the same monotonous and boring space, crying. The roar of the aircraft engine was too noisy, crying - the noise in the plane could reach 60-100 decibels. Don't talk about children, adults sometimes want to cry.

High air pressure and increased gas volume in the intestine mean that babies are also more susceptible to flatulence and cry because of abdominal pain.

In addition, changes in air pressure can cause discomfort during the process of aircraft altitude changes.

During the ascending or descending phase of the aircraft, our ears often have a feeling of bloating, sometimes even severe pain. This is because the air pressure in the cabin has changed, and the air pressure in our ears has not changed. Unbalanced air pressure inside and outside the tympanic membrane will deform the tympanic membrane and cause pain in the ear. Fortunately, this "baro-pressure otitis media" is usually relieved within a few minutes, because the Eustachian tube will open and balance the air pressure on both sides of the tympanic membrane.

When we are in an uncomfortable ear, we often chew gum, swallow, yawn, and lick our noses. These are all to make the Eustachian tube open, so that the air pressure is balanced and the pain is relieved.

Compared to adults, babies don't know how to open the Eustachian tube technique (it's hard to teach them), and the baby's Eustachian tube is thinner and more prone to blockage than adults. This means that the baby's ear is more painful than the adult when the altitude of the airplane changes.

Colds, rhinitis, allergies or otitis media can block the eustachian tube. When the baby has these diseases, the ear pain caused by the aircraft will be more obvious. One study found that 22% of children found otitis media after flight, and ear pain or nasal congestion before flight was a risk factor.

The baby's Eustachian tube is not well developed, and the ear pain caused by the aircraft's lifting will be more obvious.

When a baby is crying because of the above pains, parents sometimes "can't control."

The famous journal "Foreign Policy" has published an article discussing the problem of baby crying, which is written like this:

"As of now, in most places, the death of a child still exposes people to severe legal penalties.

Mandatory means are very popular, but when you want a screaming child to stop screaming, the punishment is not very useful.

The temptation of ‘come, eat some chocolate’ can work, but the child quickly learns to experiment again and again to get more snacks in the future.

So persuade? Those who have not yet given birth to a baby will think that they can persuade their children not to cry, and then they become parents themselves and realize that they have been stupid.

Do not. If the child cries out of control during the flight, it is not because the parents have not fulfilled their responsibilities - but because the parents have exhausted the first four methods, at this moment, in addition to accepting, there is no other way. ”

- Baby crying is also really painful -

Ok, maybe my parents can’t really control it. Having said that, isn't the baby crying a few times? Adults who have been beaten by social fancy, how can they not bear it?

Because the baby's crying is special - especially frustrating.

For those who are not sensitive to their own baby crying, it is easier for future generations to hang up early. Today's human beings have been trained to become "baby crying sensitive people." Researchers at the University of Oxford have found that the baby’s crying is within 100 milliseconds.

It can provoke a reaction in the brain, which is faster than the sprinter's starting speed. Baby crying also significantly enhances the brain area responsible for emotional processing, and enhances the listener's motor function... In short,

Hearing the baby crying allows us to go directly into the alert mode – it reacts quickly, feels painful, and wants to do something.

To say "the place where you don't want to hear baby crying", except for cinemas, restaurants, cafes, it is on the plane. Narrow, crowded, noisy, bad smell, passengers are trapped in the same iron cage, there is nowhere to escape within a few hours. At this time, there was still a cry of babies who didn’t know when they could stop.

The surrounding passengers are frowning, and the parents are actually more uncomfortable. They are both anxious for the suffering of the baby and guilty for disturbing others. They are also ashamed of "the fact that they cannot comfort their children." It is precisely because of this inner torture that some parents even want to give sedatives or sleeping pills to their babies. However, pediatricians do not agree with the practice of feeding drugs. On the one hand, "to fly" is not an indication for these drugs. On the other hand, some children may be more violent and difficult to appease after taking these drugs.

According to a survey conducted by the airline website Airfarewatchdog in 2017, 52% of the people hope that the aircraft will set up a special children's area, so that all passengers with young children under the age of 10 sit there away from the rest of the passengers.

Just this year, Japan Airlines (JAL) launched a new service that allows passengers with baby babies to sit where they choose to seat. I want to sit close or sit far, and choose.

Pay attention to the baby icon when choosing a seat in Japan Airlines, which means that there is a baby less than two years old here.

Some people praise Japan Airlines for their thoughtfulness. Some people feel resentful and question whether Japan Airlines should launch "Where is the inability of passengers to sit", "Where are the passengers with bad breath and stinking feet", "Where are the loud passengers sitting?" The seat instruction of "Where are the passengers who want to chat?" Everyone is more or less annoying.

According to the survey of the aviation website Airfarewatchdog in 2017, the most unwilling neighbors, the first is sick cough (39.3%), the second is unpleasant (28%), and the third is overweight and obese. (13.6%) - the baby has not yet ranked in the top three. Just mark the baby, what do you mean?

Others believe that Japan Airlines's move is a bit more than one move. Even if you choose to sit diagonally with your baby, you can only alleviate a little bit of pain. The cabin is just a bit of space, and the penetration of the baby’s crying is really amazing...

-Aircraft boarding guide for parents and non-parents -

In summary, the parents can't handle it, and the passengers are very painful. Is there something wrong with this?

In fact, when the baby is crying loudly on the plane, the most painful is definitely the parents.

It is both anxious for the suffering of the baby and guilty for disturbing others. At the same time, he is ashamed of "I can't comfort my child." You clearly know that there are only two people around you, impatient, and impatient but pretending to be patient. You seem to be able to hear their inner criticism of you: "What parents, even their own children are not good, if you are not good, don't bring out the door to trouble people."

Some parents even want to take sedatives or sleeping pills for Xiaowa. On the one hand, "to fly" is not an indication for these drugs. On the other hand, some children may be more violent and difficult to appease after taking these medicines.

Some parents have made special preparations in advance.

In February of this year, on a flight from San Francisco, South Korea, to San Francisco, a mother with a four-month baby travel prepared 200 "pre-approval bags" for other passengers, with earplugs, candy, and a pre-apology. note:

"Hello, I am Junyu. I am four months old. Today I am going to the United States to see my aunt with my mother and grandma. I am a little nervous, because this is my first flight, which means me. It may cry. I will try to be quiet, but I can't promise it all the time. Please forgive me. My mother prepared this little gift bag. There are candy and earplugs. Please use it when I am too noisy. Have a good trip. Thank you~"

Needless to say, other passengers understand it. In addition, Junyu is very embarrassed all the way, no crying at all.

In addition to the three-piece "ear plugs, candy, notes", parents will do the following:

Buy an extra seat so your child can sit in the safety seat for a more comfortable and safer seat. Choose a seat early, make sure the child and the parent sit together and place the child in the window seat.

Bring small toys, small snacks, safety blankets, sticker books, crayons... all kinds of things that can comfort your child.

Bring a clean set of clothes. Prepare a sealable plastic bag for dirty diapers or other bad things that can occur, which can greatly improve the surrounding odor.

If your child has a cold or has an ear infection, consider delaying the flight. When it is impossible to postpone, ask your pediatrician if you need a child painkiller.

In addition, during the aircraft lifting phase, when the baby is most prone to ear pain, try to let the baby awake to suck or suck the pacifier. Breastfeeders can bring breastfeeding towels, and milk powderers can bring milk powder, bottle, warm water or liquid milk. Sucking a lollipop can also help.

-No other passengers with baby can do some preparations:-

Bring earplugs - even if you don't encounter a crying child, you may experience other noise. Really not, you can also wear the headphones provided by the aircraft, listen to music, watch movies, and divert attention.

Be prepared to “get into the children”. Public places, public transport, you have a chance to meet a crying child, just like flying a bumpy airstream, unpredictable and unavoidable. For the benefit of thinking - fortunately, fortunately, it is not my baby who is crying, not busy with the hands of the baby, too happy.

There is also a way to make you feel better when you meet your child crying - take the initiative to lend a helping hand. If the parents are already crying, but they are not working for a while, instead of saying, "Can you manage a tube?" It is better to say "Is there anything I can help?" Pick up the things that the parents can't reach on the ground; Toys at hand to tease the child; help the parents to hold the child for a few minutes, let the other person go to the bathroom or find a small toy...

In February of this year, Stephanie Hollipfield traveled with a 2-year-old child and encountered a situation in which the child was crying and irritated and unable to appease with all her strength.

However, the appearance of an "angel" flight attendant completely reversed the situation. The flight attendant brought a cup and a straw, and the miracle happened. The child began to play these two little things with satisfaction. The flight attendant also said to Holyfield, "It’s okay, the flight is very difficult for everyone, you both have done It’s very good.”

Holyfield was grateful to write in an open letter, "Her kindness made my child quiet. Her simple words made me feel better."

After all, the baby's crying is like other troubles in life, hard to avoid, and suddenly appears. What we can do is nothing more than patience with each other, wide