Why I Draw Self Portrait and Will I Do It More? by Endija

Only after years and years, after I drew this I read and a lot of people told me that a lot of great and famous artists have drawn themselves. Can you imagine me, being art lover and maybe even an art nerd I have missed that information about self portraits?
My love and interest in self portrait started in Summer 2017, when I had first serious idea about documenting everything. Since then I even have a diary. Yes, a bit old school, but I love it. And then I thought why I haven't drawn myself not the way I look like but the way I see myself.
So I was going to buy everything I need from the closest art shop. When I realised I cant get everything to home alone I asked for help. Yes, this is hilarious. I am short and fragile person, if we talk seriously, but that did not stop me from my imagination and picture in my head I wanted to put on a paper.

The reason I wanted to draw myself so badly was not just because of documenting everything but to show the world something from me and what I have inside. Also to remember how I looked now after 50 and 80 years, I believe myself more than people can imagine and with this I wanted to say that I believe that all of this will get me somewhere.
I drew butterflies around me because they symbolize butterflies inside of me every day enjoying life and how I feel even in the darkest days.
I think my soul will never die even if I will. So powerful but so real for me.

My portrait is black and white and I can say it is and always will be almost finished. Because I am who I am and for myself I will never be ready for everything and as I mentioned I think my soul will never die. But, there all around are a lot of gold sparkles, all around my hair and portrait in general. Because that is how I see myself and world around me. Even if there are a lot of dark and black colors, there are a lot of bright and light colors, we all make the difference and we all are all around each other.
In the last picture there is me holding a portrait. ( I just want to mention that I do not have short hair and I haven't put any make-up on, I just was tired of making it) And I am not holding whole portrait in my hands because I want to keep a bit from myself to myself till my first exhibition in August.

And also I wanted to say that I will draw myself more. I am not selfish as some of you may think, I just want people to know me a little bit more and after years to use that as a part of my biography. I think no one can tell more about me, who I am and was more then myself and my art. That is why I will draw myself whenever I will feel it.
If you read this I want you to say big big thanks for spending your time and reading this. That means a lot to me. Hope you have a great week so far! Thank you again and see you next time!
With love,
Endija