I agree completely. Parents have a way of assisting their kids to develop many bad habits; Insecurity and the fear of failure among them. Children are told to colour inside the lines and to speak when they are spoken to. Later as adults is colouring [read thinking] within the lines innovative and conducive to growth, development and invention? No. Is sitting in the corner and only speaking when spoken to promoting freedom of speech, thought and opinion? No.
Children are told, don't do this, don't do that, do this and do that and sometimes it's warranted however every time that happens a little more of the wonder of discovery and learning is lost. Then they go to school and are told to do things a specific way further stifling their creative and free spirits. Is it any wonder children grow up with insecurity, fear of being different to the other children and fear of failing which in an adult often translates to not attempting a thing for fear of not being good at it...Hmm...
So, I was brought up in a small country town in the 1970's. From the age of 4 and half when I went to school I was picked on and called many things. Blackie, nigger, spear chucker, coon, wog,... You know, the old faithfuls...I went home crying every day too. It wasn't pleasant. I had a terrible school life right into high school to be honest. However at home I was none of those things. I was a loved and cherished son. I was nurtured and cared for and allowed to explore, to create, to get things wrong and learn from it. I had a great childhood and am happy to have had the parents I did. It was also a reason I turned to books...They never judged me for being the wrong colour.
Now, as an adult? I don't allow those things to define my life, my childhood. They were just things that happened. They are not why I fail at a thing, or succeed. They were just things that happened. Not attaching those stories to one's life is very important in my opinion.
People can be beautiful or ugly, kind or hurtful in equal measure, but they are always people. We cannot make a person act a certain way. But we can make sure we act in the best way possible, as individuals. We can strive to be the best version of ourselves as often as possible.
Oh, yes, sometimes parents have a lot to answer for in the upbringing of their children. I agree with you for sure @m31.
Thank you @galenkp for writing this. My surroundings weren't that harsh in school but still harsh enough. Yes, as a child it was difficult but now I've digested everything and I'm okay with it. I'm not sure if it made me any stronger or anything but I would like to consider that it made me a better person, more emphatic I guess.
You were lucky that you had a lovely family. My family was very loving and caring too but maybe a little bit too strict, which I don't appreciate very much. Yes, it kept me out of troubles but on the other hand, it was a bit difficult to learn how to color outside the lines and dare to do things. I progressed quite well though! My character helps me, deep in my heart I'm an explorer.
A nice reply @lindiry and great to hear you rose above the adversity in your life and better to hear that you're an explorer. Seeking knowledge, understanding, wisdom, and simply something different expands ones paradigm, provokes thought, and therefore...More exploring. The circle of life? Maybe.
Everyone has a story, mine is maybe different to yours but the end product is the same it seems. We are better people, more...well-rounded possibly.