Can You Learn to FORGIVE?!
Hello everyone, and welcome back to my blog!
This time inspiration came to me from one phone call, it was my brother.
We are very close, but we had a few serious fights in the past, because we are completely different people. And I learned over the years to accept our differences, but somehow I catch myself always going back to our fights whenever a new problem pops up. That says to me that I haven't truly forgave him, or me.
Since I think that you can only change yourself, not others I wondered if FORGIVENESS is something you can learn to do?
I'm not usually the one who holds a grudge, but I think since I am so close with my brother and I love him very much it's somehow harder for me to forgive him. I want to be a better person each day, so I decided to work on it.
Advises from writers I respect on the subject (like Louise Hay) say that forgiveness is essential for your well-being, and you should forgive yourself first and then everyone else. The way to do it is to imagine a stage in a theater, then the person you think you should forgive on the that stage and beside him (or her) everything you know would make them happy. And that should help you to see them in another light, and be less angry.
I tried it, and in time you really do feel like something is different. Maybe because I am a firm believer that we can change.
It feels amazing when you don't hold the burden of anger anymore, you somehow feel lighter.
And I want to hear your thoughts on the subject! I accept every comment with open mind, we don't have to agree, but I love to hear (read) what you think.
Can you learn to forgive? Should you forgive? And how you do it?
With love,
Tamara
When I say forgive, I mean, I don't feel anger towards someone.
I have learned to forgive. I was angry with a lot of people most of my life. I came to realize most of the people who hurt me were just being idiots. Even the ones that hurt me on purpose just for the sake of hurting me were on some level just acting out their own pain. Now forgiveness comes a lot easier for me. I think in almost all cases you should forgive. Now it happens to me in almost real time to the point that I really don't even get angry. But anger can be a good thing at times. It can bust us out of our complacency. But like all powerful things, it should be used sparingly and with wisdom. Righteous Anger if you will.
Just because I no longer feel anger for something someone did. If that person is still doing the same thing to people. I don't let them back into my life.
So those are my thoughts, C-ya
I love the way you deal with anger and forgiveness.
Amazing and so true point of view! Thank you!
It is a good question. I think I have come to realize-- over time-- that most arguments are not as "big a deal" as I remember them to be. I can ask myself... in the greater scale of things that happen in the world, how important was this REALLY?
Most of the time, I come up with "not very important."
That is very good point of view. Cuts the time for thinking in half, and puts you in the right mood. I like it! Thanks for sharing your opinion!
Been there many times with my brother. Actually we are on the outs right now. I hate to be the one that gives in but reading your post as far as relieving the burden makes you feel lighter is push me to bend. Thanks for the push.
Thank you for your support and honesty @outwalking
You're welcome. I appreciate you're insight. Have a good day.
upvoted :)
Thank you @abduls
Arguments generally are two sided and a sign of maturity is that we can forgive and also accept responsibility for our part in the fight.
I think more than this though, forgiveness is absolutely essential for our own mental and emotional freedom. Carrying a grudge, resentment or anger does us more harm than it does to the one we perceived to have wronged us and it traps us in the past. Breath, move on and be free!
P.S. I think if you can forgive others first, forgiving yourself will be easier since you have done something to earn it. The price we pay for forgiving ourselves could well be accepting the flawed humanity others?
Yes, I always begin with myself. There is something with accepting your self just the way you are, flaws and all! And when I forgive and accept myself, it's easier to forgive and accept others.
Thank you for your lovely comment! @burtybasset
Welcome. Have a great day!
I don't know if it's Scorpio in me, I forgive but don't forget.
Long time ago I was holding onto negative feelings from being hurt by someone, I carried that with me for years and finally when I learned how to forgive myself and that person as well, I felt like I was born again.
Forgiveness is, in my opinion, one of the hardest and yet the most liberating and life changing things we can do as humans.
Couldn't agree more. The harder something is, the more value it holds.
Forgiveness is something we should be thought from young age!
Yes, we don't get thought a lot of valuable things but I guess it's even more valuable when we learn it by ourselves. :)
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