Exploring Life in the Deeper End: Wandering the Philosophical Path
What is the meaning of life?
Autumn leaf on granite...
Sure, that's a pretty clichéed thing to say, but it's interesting appropriate, in this moment.
I am taking a quick break to write, while my neighbor (I'm at work, as I write this) is working with some customers. We were having a talk about the psychology of group dynamics when someone wandered into her store.
She said "hold that!" and popped back into her own space through our shared door.
I could hear her visitor ask if she needed to "finish her purchase," and she explained it was not a purchase, and that she was "listening to something my neighbor was sharing, he gets really DEEP about humans, motivations, psychology and things."
Really Deep...?
I can't say that I have ever thought of myself as "deep," but her statement underscored something I have observed about people and life: the vast majority of people on this planet go through life from a place of "reactivity" rather than a place of "responsiveness." And somehow people who "respond" tend to often get labeled as "deep."
California poppy in the sun
When I encounter "something"-- a person, a situation, a problem, a conflict-- my interest and motivation is in trying to understand how it came about, so we can somehow figure out how to create a mutually beneficial interaction or resolution. The idea of simply "reacting" and (figuratively speaking) "whacking it over the head with a piece of 2x4" isn't really how my brain operates.
Sometimes... to my detriment.
Sitting there, trying to understand the deeper underlying dynamic of what might have happened in the school bully's life that would lead him to want to steal someone's sandwich is probably a lot less functionally effective than simply telling him to piss off and punching him in the nuts.
But yes, I was "that kid." And I never quite could figure out the benefits of "problem solving with your fists." Not because I didn't recognize that some people were stronger than others, but because doing so was never a resolution... it was always a temporary impasse till the next conflict.
"Depth" and Perspective
I'll be the first to admit that I am-- at my core-- an idealist.
Honeysuckle about to bloom
Ever since being maybe 6-7 years old and observing adults and their frequent inability to get along and be decent to each other I have been haunted by the question "Why can't we all just get along?"
And what some people might perceive as my being "deep," I experience as no more than my lifetime attempt at understanding the human dynamic with all it's foibles and quirks... how do we GET to these places in our psyches, where we do horrible, mean, narrow-minded, selfish and anti-social things to each other... often for no greater reason than some unseen compulsion that we "HAVE to" have things our way?
Maybe I am cognitively blind, in some ways. At least it sometimes feels that way-- especially when someone looks at me like I just dropped in from another planet... and then says something like "You just don't GET it, do you? This isn't about working things out, it's about WINNING!"
I consider this. "Winning" is OK, as long as it falls under the broader spectrum of "do no harm." If you have to do harm, to win... then I'm not onboard with it.
Well, my neighbor is done, so I'm going to "decorate" this post a bit, and send it out into the whirled.
How about YOU? Do people ever call you "deep?" Does it feel right to you, or a bit strange? Do you like to plumb the depths of trying to understand the human condition? Are you a student of psychology and/or philosophy? Leave a comment-- share your experiences and feedback-- be part of the conversation!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Published 20170718 14:23 PDT
I also feel that I am a bit of an idealist but the trouble I seem to have when conveying my thoughts to others is that they seem to think that being an idealist is to my detriment and also they feel like I am judging them for not being so. The truth is though that in most cases I am as deficient in my own approach to life and can at times be hypocritical in my actions versus my words but I am aware of these deficiencies and am trying to overcome them but when I try to encourage others that they should give some thought to do the same they look at me like you say, as if I am from another planet.
The world does not allow us too much time to think for ourselves these days and group think is a difficult thing to overcome. It frustrates me at times when I am unable to find the words to express my thoughts on the subject but when reflecting on the situation afterwards I often realise that I was always doomed to fail because the person I was talking to did not WANT to hear what I had to say and so COULDN'T no matter what words or tone I was able to find to express myself.
That's my experience anyway! :)
"Well, you're just too nice to people. They will take advantage of you!"
Unfortunately, it often makes people uncomfortable if you are steady and rooted in a value set that-- if it works in the world-- will illuminate that they perhaps are not really moral, ethical or conscious people. Hence, it's a better approach to try to change YOU "for your own good" than it is for them to have a long hard look at their own bag of goods.
The sense of "judgment" I often feel I encounter seems centered in the idea that while I might be "right" about what I'm suggesting... but I am "making things too complicated, and we don't have TIME for that." In a very broad sense, it's the consequence of living in a world where lots of people want "change" for a better world, but they are not willing TO change in order for that to happen.
I'm coming to the realisation slowly that to change the world is to change myself and that taking on the big fight will only be to my own destruction in terms of my own experience of life. No-one wants to feel that the choices they make every day for themselves and their children might in fact be the wrong choices so they can't allow themselves to hear what is being said and so as you say, they inevitably turn the tables and angrily at times, try persuading me that I am the one with the problem and not the world.
Most people I encounter believe it is better to ignore the issues of the world which do not have a direct affect on their own lives but fail to see the connections in everything that is. I can forget for a while the troubles of the world but I can't live my life in ignorance of the suffering and hardship that is rampant and the cause of this suffering which I believe to be the actions of men and women no different in physicality than ourselves. It angers me hwen people say I make things too complicated because all I want to do is make things simple. The way they should be and they way I feel they were meant to be.
I want the world to change but right now I need to change myself and am having difficulty. I am far too angry and it is definitely not a good thing for my own experience here.
Sorry. Bit of a mini rant there. :) Thanks @denmarkguy! Take it easy my friend!
I've been called "deep" and I've also been called "crazy" before. I much prefer deep over crazy. But neither really feels right. I'm just me seeing the world through my own particular lens.
I like your observation that if you are "responsive" rather than "reactive" people tend to see you as "deep." That is something to consider. I see being responsive and trying to understand others as just a part of being human. Reacting without thought, like a cat jumping when the dog barks next to it, is really more on the animalistic side of things. As human beings we have the capacity for self reflection and trying to understand the inner workings of other people. I see that as just people fulfilling their potential on planet Earth. If that seems "deep" to others, then so be it. I think it's real people being real people. Maybe some day more people will jump on board with being responsive rather than reactive and we can all get "deep" together. Then responsive folks won't seem so darned weird. :-)
"Crazy;" or "weird," or "deep" or whatever label helps someone get through their day... and their moments of discomfort.
I agree entirely that self-reflection and striving to understand the world and the people in it... is (ideally-- there's that word again!) is simply a part of living to your highest possible potential as a human being.
That was funny :)
Oy.... doesn't that hurt to hear it uttered :P Sometimes the best win is for cooperation, not winning over someone who loses.
We all need to be deep, more thinking on the "unseen"/"spiritual" aspects of life, i.e. psyche, consciousness.
Thanks!
I guess I find it distressing as part of the bigger picture... I hear people focus on the immediate aspects of "winning" and reflect on the sad fact that we really haven't progressed very far from living in caves and clubbing the crap out of the next person who says something we don't like... like a tribe of baboons, except better dressed. Or not.
Meanwhile "Idiocracy" is running in the back of my mind and it would all be kind of funny... except that damn movie seems more and more like a documentary every year, and less and less like scifi...
We've moved more from physical clubbing, to verbal clubbing, at least among our local regions of living. There are still wars going on so we're still clubbing the physical way too.
LOL, Idiocracy, just fuck like rabbits and populate the more intelligent out of existence :P Great future. With the low birthrate in the West, and less thinking, that may indeed become the future. Immigrants are going to repopulate instead, that's why they want more immigration.
Another self-destructive cycle... immigrants want in to make a better life for themselves, bringing with them all the issues that caused them to leave their homelands, in the first place. Just a giant circle jerk.
I believe writing will make you less shallow over time. Writing forces you to reflect on things in your life and it gives you a more nuanced perspective on various topics. You will become more in tune with your own beliefs which will benefit you in a conversation. When you instantly KNOW your values in a conversation (because you have written about it sometime) you will appear to be more deep and interesting to others.
I guess :)
Writing is definitely a "reflective" pastime for me... it forces my mind to slow down and get better organized... and yes, that can become a very useful thing to bring forward during later conversations. Writing also inspires me to research things and gain knowledge at a level I might not have had for conversation.
People don't call me. Knowing me causes them to maintain only superficial conversations. I have a very bad habit of exposing flawed thinking without mercy! Does this make me deep or stupid? I'd like to discuss it, but the vote is in.
Clearly, you must be able to reach parts of them they'd just as well not be "real." Pointing out that the emperor is wearing no clothes tends to cause riots when you live in a world dominated by group-thinking sheeple.
My vote is for "authentic." "Deep" is just a subset...
Longing for the deepest of many things satiates our curiosity and gives us wisdom from what we would discover.
Well said... I agree completely. As Socrates allegedly said "The unexamined life is not worth living."
I can relate to this on a deep level ;-P . I used to be that guy that got labeled deep, but I guess I'm a little bit far removed from regular society now so now I'm either an artist or a fucking weirdo X-D, or maybe just a wacky idealist.
I feel very similar to you about "winning". I take it pretty far though. When I work a regular job, I always think about who is benefiting from my actions and what will they lead to. "Ok, I am helping someone but who are they and what are they going to do with my help? Are they going to use this help to make it further in the rat race, stamp out competition and live lives that reinforce all the ridiculousness in the world?" And so it ha she become very hard for me to "work". I like that there are more and more people working regular jobs who see through the ridiculousness and are looking for ways to be real, or "deep" in their free time though. I feel it's much easier for me to relate to the "average joe" than a few years ago, part of it is surely me calming down and finding my own peace, but I think a lot of lingering problems have been pushed to the forefront and people are able to break out of at automatic mode.
I feel like I'm ready to go off topic so I'll end this comment here. It'd be nice to have you in our chat room ;-)
"Thinking" is allowed less and less in the world... or maybe it's not about being "allowed," but about being socially acceptable. And if you do have a propensity for thinking, it's easy to get boxed into "political correctness."
Well, I'm an idealist, too! Thinking is my basic activity of life. My profession is a philosopher
That's quite a rarity, in our world! You are teaching at University, then?
No, I'm high school teacher of sociology and philosophy :)
Very moving piece of work. Thank you!
Thank you!
Hi denmarkguy, what a refreshing post to read! I was probably "that kid" too - the type who likes to (over?) analyze and try to figure out the why and how of this amazing world we live in. Whenever we're supposed to introduce ourselves and describe our hobbies, people always mention exciting hobbies like hiking, kayaking, jogging, rock-climbing, etc. I always felt a little embarrassed to say that my favorite hobby was and is reading, taking long strolls, and chatting with friends/family. It's nice to meet other people who enjoy these things too.
Regarding your first question "What is the meaning of life?", I was wondering if you have read Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning? In his book, Frankl describes why he thinks man's deepest desire is to search for meaning to life. His book is particularly poignant as he develops his philosophy in the context of what he observed while living in a concentration camp during World War II.
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