Self-Reflection - The Weekend Freewrite 7
There I was, just standing there, when what I wanted to do was forbidden. And I watched myself from the third person. First time ever I went outside of my head and reflected on how do I appear outside of myself to others. I didn't want to look down but at the same time I didn't want to back up from where I was standing.
The desperate call I was about to make: How it would be seen to others? How others see me outside of my head.
Maybe it's all because of me. Because I didn't project myself more onto others but kept hiding. Pretending to be open almost believing it myself, but always leaving that one door shut.
She may be young, but she is not stupid; it was no coincidence being drifted into the moment.
Had she already made her mind without knowing it? What if she would decide the opposite than what she was guided to do. Like a desire into one's head of a treat. Tasting it is so sweet but the satisfaction wouldn't stay so why to do it in the first place?
But this could be permanent, would it change the decision making?
Getting drift into the nihilistic view of "why does anything matter?" Did we create ourselves into a cosmic joke in isolation?
Sometimes you enjoy the full control of existence, the power of being able to step down by your own choice.
But sometimes when we stop into the moment, in front of the divider, the power of decision is taken from us, against our will. Because standing on the peak and looking down to the choices on our hands is only a moment, a moment little too long wasted with pondering.
And that's why I fell on that day onto my own death, the day I loaned Morgan 400 bucks.
Shot to the head.
My freedom slipped away. The decision was done for me.
Interesting #freewrite I got myself to do today on Weekend Freewrite 7 . It turned out little strange and not cohesive to me. But, like what freewriting is all about, there's nothing wrong with that. I left it without picture(s) kinda to let it be imagined by readers themselves.
that was very interesting!!! The freewrite takes us all over the place, right?
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-60-5-minute-freewrite-prompt-twins
There's no place redeemed from the mind of a freewriter.
It's very admirable you always take the time to read my and all the others' freewrites.
Thank you!!!
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