Most people, when thinking about there goals or who they want to become, base themselves off of comparisons to others

Today I realized this when I ran into an old friend that i haven't seen for 2-3 years. It was really good seeing him again, as it would be for many to see an old friend again. But there was also something else that made me happy about seeing him; I felt validated, mostly because of his lack of goals. Hes still the same person I knew 2-3 years ago, not much has changed with him. The only differences are his apartment, different girlfriend (living with her), and different job. HeTalked about wanting to make his girlfriend more happy because of argument they have been having lately and about him getting a promotion in a month. Yet he is still just floating without a focus or a goal, with him only taking that which life presents him first. Basically he's mostly surviving, without the desire or a inner push to start thriving (doing what he loves/creating something). he believes it is not possibly for him to attain that which he desires because of his circumstances (better to not try, than fail).

The mixed feelings of being validated off of a friends lack of accomplishments

I know I haven't had as strong of a focus towards my goals as I know I could. Sometimes I get down on myself for not motivating myself to create and follow my goals more often. When I saw my friend again, seeing his lack of accomplishments with creating or bettering himself in a way helped me feel justified for the times that I have lapsed in my focus. I then started seeing all that I had accomplished since the last time I saw him.
Getting my 500 hour certificate for hypnosis/hypnotherapy and learning circular breathing on the didgeridoo were some of the first things I thought of. I felt proud and validated for the time that had passed through out my life at that moment. But all of this is only a distorted comparison at best, because he is different than me. He definitely does not have the same aspirations as me. The only things he may want in life are a house with a wife kids.

Another reason that these types of comparison are distorted is that these are my judgments; Based off of an hour, at most, of reconnecting with him. I don't really know what hes done in this two year gap of seeing him, just like he doesn't know what I've done and that I play didgeridoo. I made an quick assumption and judgment of these things and then compared him to myself; When only he should be doing these thing for himself, not I. Really we all should be doing this for only ourselves, yet a lot of us are constantly finding someone else to compare ourselves too. Why?

how westernized (and other) societies create this comparison mentality

When I say most people, I am mostly speaking about the western societies but I assume all other with strong consumerism/Industrialized/currency focused environment have some of these same side effects. These societies that focus on these things, give rewards and attention to achievement and inventions ; It's not about who you are but about what you have accomplished. With technology growing, making it so accessible to view these "successful people" at any moment notice, these comparison to these successful people and everyone around us start to happen more and more. Ranking everyone with a status. Saying things in our minds like,"I can't do this because it cost to much money, they can because they have a lot of money". With rich celebrities and their kids showing off all their money so much, it's sometimes hard not to make that comparison that creates jealous when you realize you don't have what they have.

Another reason this gets created in certain countries is because of the benefits the government and rich corporations/entities receive from this group mindset. Governments lying to people to constantly get us to power their wheel. Paying taxes and following there policies ( or else punishment). Endlessly working with the hope that one may acquire glamor of being celebrity or constantly changing ones self to model characters that are portrayed in movies. Since most movies are funded by the same huge production companies (Warner brothers, universal, Disney, etc.) you can usually see the influences that these parent companies have over the production changes added to the movie. Using movies to shape reality has been a very strong technique that's been used since it was created.

Feeling the invisible hands when we look at ourselves, that push us in a direction that may not be who we are, created from a life time of comparison, all within our subconscious mind

Since we were a kids, a lot of us have been told things like, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" or as we get older "what are your plans for the future". When things like those statement are made for kids, It shows that kids are being trained from the beginning to feel this mindset is normal. It subconsciously shows that it normal to constantly projects and compare ourselves to others. Once it is taught that this way of thinking is normal, (coming through the ideas that society imposes on us) then these idea are reinforced through school, work, athletic sports or anything that can have an someone being superior to you in some way; Something you must work toward to be acknowledged. Then after a while these idea are self-sustained, created, and imposed onto others by the individual; Without even the individual knowing what there doing. Social engineering at its best (or worse).

@kyriacos recently wrote a blog about Depression Is a Disease of Civilization — Aboriginal Australians Hold The Cure, saying that the aborigines do not have this same comparison mentality that is created in these societies that I am talking about. It was very insightful for me hearing about a completely different perspective like theirs.

They do not view the world like we do. They do not have the monotheistic fear of death that has been ingrained in everything in our society. They do not even experience the world based on past, present and future. Their perception is completely different, as if time does not exist — everyone and everything is connected through circles or relative connection. They do not even abide to psychology (or what I call, social engineering) in order to see if they are 'normal' in respect to their peers.

In the end, it's all about where our motivation for comparing ourselves is coming from

Where is your desire and drive coming from? What is this comparison based off of? Are you pushing yourself to catch up to other? Wanting to be glorified and recognized by your society? or do you genuinely have this calling from inside you to inspire and create the vision that you have created for yourself within you. Sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference of where our motivation is originally coming from: Your inner desires or projected onto you by your external social interaction. This is because the line between these two things seems to be very thin.
how do you tell the difference of what you inner desires are and that which has been placed onto you by your external social environment?

-@Ballinconscious