Do you note that look of total concentration on zeee dogs mugshot?....

2 bloody years we have had this foot warmer, this thing that follows you "EVERYWHERE" you go.

Even going for a shave is not safe, it sits on my feet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When we cook, it sits on our feet, or dangerously near them, 1 wrong step and boom, dog is dead or hot pan over my head.

So we started of with paying a so called dog trainer loads of bloody fiat fire starters called money to train the mop. It went as well as I thought it would when the just out of dog psychology classes ex student - come new dog trainer arrived, shit to say the best.

Nothing changed, the dog was just amused to have a new friend to wind up for a month or two.

After she gave up, her parting words were "muzzle it - when it annoys you," so we did, and the dog just sits depressed and motionless.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not quite what I had in mind................

We "had" the oldest hamster in the world.

Had being the operative word. I watched it die a few days ago. And I can tell you for free, or a small upgoat if you like. That it did not want to exit this mortal coil, and clung onto life as best it could, in excruciating pain. I took the decision the day after it had popped it's clogs, and after we had driven with the corpse in the car all day, and could not find anywhere to bury it due to frozen ground, and at one point realizing we had got home, and it was still in the car, now literally stone cold dead. To sail it down a river that night in a cereal box, viking style without the fire!!!!!!

Whats has that got to do with dog training you muppet?...

On the night of the departure to where ever it is we all go after we die. My daughter turned on the waterworks, around 4 hours later??????? Cunning to say the least, you see I could see when this started, those little cogs of thought clicking through my 7 soon to be 8 year old daughters already manipulative mind.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After a few crocodile tears, and some name mentioning, pixie, sob sob, pixie blah ha hah etc. Came the "can I sleep with mom tonight, As I am upset"? "Yes" says daddy sucker.

"You Know dad, if I had a guinea pig, then everything would be OKAY!!!!!"..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

All those dots above represent my thoughts at being played by a 7 year old.

Fricking genius she is, not only did mommy and daddy suckers go and buy one the next day, she - my daughter - inadvertently freed me/us from the mop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is freedom, that thing they call a pig with a guinea. The dog is obsessed with it, to the point of not even begging for food. I just put some in her bowl 1 hour ago, even tapped it with a spoon, any reaction? Nope, mop is still watching pig TV.

You see TV shows about how to train needy dogs, how to spend money to do so, bollox to that, just buy a pig with a guinea before it, for around 10 quid or to others 10 bucks you see. MONEY well spent to set the feet freeeeeeeeeeeee.

@shepz1 is feeling smug at being played, as the player released me from my bonds to her mop you see. :-)

Hope I find you all well, have a superb week ahead........................................