Personal Update - Still Out of Commission

in #personal4 years ago


I am still not OK but that is... OK.

The World keeps turning without me.

It almost feels better off that this be so.

I remain bitter and angry - and typing 'anything' about it makes me so tired.

My eyes close, my fingers grow heavy.

And I cannot drum up the will to finish the invitation/ challenge kindly posed to me by @ragepeanut.

Is this as dead as one can feel while still living?

No... not by a long shot...

Still... its not a pleasant feeling.

I remain deeply dissatisfied - not least with myself.

And unlike other times, I cannot drum up the will to claw myself those precious inches forward - to help me feel that I'm doing anything worthwhile.

Hence my silence. Who wants to hear about peoples' low points anyway?

Posting this is an achievement... (?)


Something told me to come check on you, and glad I did! So, I am now doing readings, oracle/medicine/healing and I can help you if you like. Come say hi in DM on discord my friend. xoxo
ps. I started #medicinecardmonday so maybe check that out, I am up to #7, you will get the basic idea of what i'm doing.

I saw your message yesterday... and I've been wondering what kind of response was best.

Thank you is one that cannot go wrong.

Considering that what you offer requires an hour or more of your time, and considering that my life is more hectic than its been in a long time, with me stealing hours of sleep so as not to suffer too greatly the next day, and considering that I'm just about never alone (which has its ups but also has its downs), I do not feel that I can accept to use your time upon an individual who cannot even provide a decent degree of his attention. Perhaps a time and circumstance more correct will present itself in the future.

In truth I am no longer at my lowest point. I hope to recover.

thank you for responding and glad you are on the mend.

I'm so sorry I somehow completely missed your post, good thing I check on you at least once a week. I coud never find the right words in this situation because I never went through what you are going through right now but I'm gonna try with just those few words... I hope you feel better soon. To answer your question, I do want to hear about that. People that care about you want to hear about your low points just as much as your high points. I only know you from Steem but I do care about you, posting about how you feel is definitely an achievement. I believe that anyone who cares about you would prefer hearing about your low points over not hearing anything at all, at least I do. As for the challenge, don't worry too much about it, you've got plenty of time to take part in it, just work on it whenever you feel like it ! I hope that you feel better soon buddy and am waiting patiently to hear about you again !

I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. Don't worry about it - its not like there is a lot of good going on in my barren life (there is some). :cP

Also thank you - I will try to be more present.

Same here as @eaglespirit .I check upon you regularly see if there is any update from you how it is going.

congrats on your achievment of posting this! I see you put up a next one even....good going!

You dont have to share about your low point ofcourse, but it is okay that there an option if you feel the need to at least

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