Choosing your narrative

Recently, I read a post by @eveuncovered, considering the struggle of keeping up a healthy lifestyle. And why this hits me in a way too, is that I've been at home for a week now, and... I don't know how to describe it, but it's as if I don't know how to live at home. Don't get me wrong, I love my freedom right now and I'm actually kinda doing things, productive even, although not to the extent I wished I'd do.

I have this sense, that I'd like to write... just write about something, but it just doesn't come out whatever that is that I'd like to write about. I guess what I said, was an unnecessarily complicated description for "I have writer's block", which makes me think that I should do freewriting to brake these chains. That is why I'm splurring my thoughts around in an unorganized manner.

Yeah, I was talking about living at home. So, the weird thing is that when I was cycling on the road, it feels like my life had more structure during that time period, compared to being at home right now. I know, "get a job, and you'll gain structure in your life", but I hated my life during the civil service even though I had "structure". But perhaps that isn't a valid comparison, because the civil service wasn't a 'job'. It was mostly arbitrary labor because of ideological reasons, the ideological reason being patriotism, that we Finns have to protect our country (everyone "must go" and is persuaded to military, but civil service is an option). And yeah, I totally get that – protect the good that we have, but I just don't agree with the values on a larger scale. "Defense forces is a necessary precautionary measure for outside threats." I get that reasoning too, but I just decide to live along different sets of values than what patriotism promotes. It's not like I don't appreciate what we have here – things are pretty darn well here all things considered, part of which is probably thanks to having to keep our independence through WW II.

But like Carlos Matos knows: "The world is not anymore the way it used to be". (Yes, I had to look up the video again to confirm the exact quote.)

Memes aside, thinking about patriotism and why I decide not to take that narrative as it is – all that I would probably throw into the trash if I lived in the first half of 1900's, because things were quite different then. You could say, that having patriotic values was practical, because people were literally fighting for their own crops: On the Winter War, a large chunk of Karelia was given to Soviet Union as part of terms for ceasefire. Later on "continuation war", the old areas of Karelia lost along the peace terms, we're taken back while proceeding the offensive with Nazis in Soviet Union's territory, all the way to Eastern-Karelia. Some people returned to their homes in Karelian Isthmus, lost on the peace terms, but in the end had to leave after few years when Soviet Union started their huge offensives, forcing Finns (and Nazis) to back down close to the previous borders agreed upon the ceasefire. Because of this, those people who decided to return back to their homes in Karelia during Continuation War, were forced to migrate away from their homes – for the second time.
During these wars, Finns had the moral high ground and a great amount of moral support from outside world, justifying the defense against the evil neighbor from east. This created an incredible sense of unity and a will to defend ourselves – the Spirit of Winter War, which has reached mythical standards.

I get it, it's an easy, highly attractive narrative to digest – on the backs of which today's defense forces ride with. Yes, I know – "precautionary measure" – but there's simply no denying, that the past is used to feed to us Finns to justify military's existence as it is. They did it themselves; when I was in the draft, they showed us several videos, one of which involving veterans and their hopes of today's youth keeping up the 'will for defending us'.
Pleading to emotions – way more powerful than rationale.

It is a relic that will surely keep on dragging as long as patriotism seems attractive. And the attraction towards that will largely depend on how threatening we see the outside world being for us.

We live – all things considered – in the most peaceful era that the world has ever seen, despite media feasting with the few wars and conflicts present today. If the world seems to be going to a better place (which is the basis of capitalism by the way – the belief into a better future) the point of keeping up something to defend us, will be forgotten.
I am not afraid of other people or conflict, I'm afraid of the information and the way it can be presented to us to manipulate public narrative, and especially the potential consequences of that. Because whatever people will be led to believe, on real or false basis, can become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

I guess I'm choosing, carefully optimistic, better tomorrow, rather than clinging to the past.

PS. This ended up completely another thing than it started with.