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RE: [PARENTING] To Spank or Not To Spank? My childhood experience, what I learned and how I incorporated that into parenthood
Although I wasn't abused as a child, I was spanked and whipped with a belt or switch. I think I remember most of them. I can remember one I got when I was three for crying and waking up my dad. I especially remember the ones I felt were unjustified. I rarely spanked my kids, but I regret the times I did. I don't think corporal punishment is ever justified. When you use it, I believe you are admitting that you have failed as a parent. As far as I know, my daughter has never spanked any of her kids, and they have turned out great.
Yes, I remember getting some whacks that I felt were unjustified too...and that's when attitude reared its ugly head because I was like Wait - how is that fair? I think it's shaped my attitude in taking ownership of my actions, mistakes and all - and a big part of why I always root for the underdog.
Even though my youngest is 18 now, there are times when I feel like I've failed as a parent...but never because I disciplined the way I did. I don't remember exactly when I cut the umbilical cord and released myself from the responsibility of their choices.
They know they can turn to me any time they need me but they also know I won't allow them to put blame on me either. I did the best that I could and one lesson I instilled in them was: If you do your best, make your best effort, then never take ownership of someone else's disappointment.
I guess my point is, I had to find some way to reach my kids and be an example of love and discipline (among other things...all the things...) and sometimes the fastest way was a good old fashioned whack on the butt.