[Blog] Thoughts from the Front Lines: Normal Life Is Fun
My kids enjoy doing normal things.
Due to money and space considerations, we didn't start out with a lot of toys and we've kept to that over time to minimize chaos. (Ever notice that small children need to spread every. single. toy. across any room they inhabit?) We don't have a TV and we only have one car, which means highly-stimulating entertainment has been drastically reduced for our kids. None of this was done with the goal of having any effect on our children, but as they're reaching pre-school/Kindergarten age, I'm beginning to notice a few things.
Small Things Are Interesting
It's an especially big event to watch the garbage truck come by. The four-year-old and three-year-old will sit and listen to full-fledged chapter books read aloud and look forward to hearing the next chapter tomorrow. My four-year-old has somehow absorbed the alphabet and the house is littered with pieces of paper crammed full of random letters she's practicing. They spend hours decorating every inch of the short sidewalk in our back yard with chalk drawings. They spend more hours making "soup" out of leaves, sticks and flower buds they've gathered from the yard. The eighteen-month-old will sit on Daddy's lap contentedly sucking her thumb and watching him work on the computer. They think separating the laundry is fun. They will sit and watch a new bug for as long as the bug will stick around (the Praying Mantis was a big hit). Putting mulch on the landscaping is an Event.
This doesn't mean they never get noisy, rambunctious or bored, but I am really happy with their ability to concentrate and find things interesting rather than requiring entertainment. This is really going to help all of us in the future. Because kids weren't meant to need constant placating, endless feeding of "fun stuff" to keep them occupied apart from reality.
The Rest of Life Is Coming
For the rest of their lives, dealing with laundry is going to be a thing. Watching cartoons and playing with noisy toys isn't. So if they have a blast folding towels (I know, right? I don't remember having so much fun with that job when I was a kid...), transition to adult responsibilities will be much more natural and less painful than if they have a sharp disctinction between a "fun" childhood and chore-filled adulthood.
Enjoying the normal things of life now is going to make their future life a lot more pleasant, relaxed and enjoyable. I'm looking forward because I'm going to get to share a certain amount of it with them. It's already pretty great to be able to share things like laundry and cooking and enjoy the time together. It's just going to get better with time.
We too restricted our kids in the line of noisy toys and mindless television. It's called an idiot box for a reason. Our kids were always playing together. They spent a great deal of time outdoors. We didn't provide endless entertainment of the electronic variety. Now that they are adults, they are problem solvers. They are active members of their communities. They still don't watch much television and their children don't watch either. I feel that it has made them better adults. I know you are on the right track with your children.
I hope everyone forgives my very late replies this week - since many of you watch @ironshield 's Grateful Vibes posts, you know I was a little occupied, but I still got a chance to read the great comments even though I haven't been able to get a good time to respond!
Thank you for the kind words! My parents didn't have TV when I was growing up and I agree that it really made a difference in how my siblings related to each other. We spent a lot of time as kids doing things together and being outside and doing projects and it's really shaped how we are as adults. One of the things I'm concerned about with our kids is that now there are just so many more sources of similar engagement, computers and iPads and phones, etc. It isn't just TV that can act like an idiot box anymore and it's going to take some real discernment to understand how to allow our kids to use good tools and not get sucked into the mindlessness that can happen in the process.
You are right. With every they have access to these days it is going to be a lot more difficult for sure. The baby is absolutely beautiful. A little angel, well not so little at 8 pounds. How are you doing? Tired I bet but that after glow of new motherhood is so special.
Awesome parenting! The more of the natural world they get to experience they more in tune to nature they will have.
Thank you! Some of my fondest memories of childhood have to do with running around outside and I'm really happy to see how much our kids enjoy just being out. Of course, they do get pretty stir crazy around this time of year when it's cold and wet and dreary but there's no fun stuff like snow to play with...but it's worth it.
That's so great that they enjoy doing those things! I bet you would really like Ambleside Online as your curriculum. It involves reading chapter books to the kids (plus narration) and nature time (among other things). We really like it and it is free and Christian based. If you're near a library, they may even have a lot of the books in stock that you may need to use, or you can easily order them on eBay or amazon. I'm ready for you to have this baby so we can know the gender and name! :) Hope you're doing well!
Laughing a little now that I'm finally getting my computer to answer...well, at least now you know Daniel's gender and name!
I do like a lot of the Charlotte Mason approach - my mom did some of her curriculum with me and my siblings in early grade levels and we enjoyed it. She always read a lot to us naturally, so it was a pretty good fit for the most part.
A couple of people have suggested Ambleside to me but I've only just skimmed through the website and haven't really settled down to think it over. I may be in a touch of denial when it comes to the fact that our oldest is just about five. I still think we have lots of time...and in some ways we do. I don't think there's a huge hurry to get her started...but that time goes by so fast!
True! I just started my daughter who turned 6 in AO Year 1 as they recommend starting at 6, so that was nice to be able to get a little "later" start with her. Yeah, it's hard to pick a curriculum for sure! So cool that you were homeschooled. I wasn't, but I enjoy homeschooling my kids. :) Enjoy your little guy!! :)
I love this! I wish we had a no tv rule when we first had Eli. It was the hardest thing to break him of when we moved off grid. Now that we are back on grid, it's sometimes a battle. I think being an only child has played a big role for us. If the Father ever blesses us with more children, I pray He does, we will do things so different. ❤️
Ugh, the struggle is real, isn't it? If I let our kids watch ONE THING on the computer - even short Bible cartoons or something - I spend the next three days saying, "No" constantly when they ask to play with the iPad or watch another cartoon or do something that lets them get their hands on some screen time. Being an only child has to make it more difficult - I know our oldest gets very bored when her sisters are sleeping at naptime and she isn't and she really wants to just be entertained by something whereas when the others are awake they find more things to do together.
I pray for you to be able to have more also. That would be a wonderful event worthy of much celebration!
Great post @lturner! This was really motivating and a good reminder. Lately I’ve been feeling guilty of letting them watch TV too much again. We were doing so well with keeping it off during the day until we were finished with school. Now that I’m almost 3 months pregnant with our fifth child it’s easy for me to say “oh go ahead and do this and that” because I want a break and need more rest. I will work hard again to find other ways to keep their brains moving. I enjoy reading your post and @ironshiled’s posts about your beautiful family! Many blessings to you. So how far along are you? Will this be your fourth child?
Hello @crocheille! Congratulations on a FIFTH!!!! That's wonderful!
Thank you for the kind words. I think all our guards go down during time like first trimesters when we're kind of having to push really hard to get through the day and it seems to make things so much easier to just settle the kids in one place for a while and not have o think about it. The thing that helps me not give in to the temptation is remembering how much work it's going to be getting everyone back in shape after I turn the computer (it might as well be TV sometimes!) off again. Sometimes I have to spend a good couple of hours getting everyones' attitudes back into shape. I don't know what it is, but even very gentle slow stuff seems to mess with their brains and I have to use way more energy correcting and maintaining order than if I just didn't let them sit down to watch in the first place.
I've really been enjoying @ironshield 's posts as well - before we were married we wrote a lot of emails to each other and even though we talk all the time, he has different thoughts when he's writing them out and I enjoy seeing what he's come up with every day.
At the time I wrote this last week, I was just about at 41 weeks with our fourth child. Now, of course, Daniel gets to start his own timeline and he's...hm, just about two and a half days old.
Thank you so much! We are very excited!! Congratulations to you all on your new baby boy!!! How exciting it is to welcome a new family member!
I definitely know what you mean about it being harder work to get everyone back on track again. It makes sense not giving into the temptation of letting things go. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.
That’s really nice and special that you both get to enjoy each other’s writing. My husband is also on here but he doesn’t do the blogging thing. He’s more into the crypto side and keeping up with our coin investments. He leaves the blogging to me lol!
Enjoy your new little bundle and all of your family time. God Bless you all~ 😊
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Oh, I wish I'd found this a few days earlier so I could upvote it! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this. We have the same perspective with our boys, and though some of my family may think we're "depriving" them of the same sort of "normal" childhood that I had, I wouldn't fix it for the world. My 2 year old loves watching his father work with tools, and I love knowing that he can name a hammer, nails, screws, etc rather than naming all the different cartoon characters in a show. It's so encouraging to read posts like this from mothers like you.