Children should be appreciated and respected for who they are -- being a CHILD!
Children are childish! We were all children once and being a child is an important and glorious part of the human experience.
I wonder if perhaps some of the people who get so easily annoyed at children, were the ones who themselves felt like they were an irritation to the adults around them?
Sadly, there are still people around who claim that children should be "SEEN AND NOT HEARD."
I consider this to be "CHILDISM."
You know, like Racism or Sexism!
Childism is when people are discriminated against just because they are young and small.
Our adult desires do not outweigh a child's needs to be respected and listened to, and to be included in adult conversations if they want to be.
I want my children to interact with me and those whom I surround myself with. I have never thought of telling my children that in the presence of 2 or more adults, the child should be only be "Seen And Not Heard."
How will they learn to interact with the variety of people and situations in our world, if a child is not allowed to participate in conversation and is not allowed to get involved in what the adults are up to?
As an example, I would not appreciate my husband telling me that I can't join in on the conversation with his male friends or brothers.
"Honey! Just be a good wife and bring us our drinks, look pretty, but don't disrespect me by interrupting us with your womanish ways."
I would cause a stink! I would tell my husband that is not how it is going to be and that I deserve respect too.
And if I treated my children that way, I would expect them to rebel too. Why do we treat kids with a double standard?
Children do not have all the skills that adults have yet. This is obvious. But we must accept them where they are, and we must help them grow and learn.
Interacting with humans of all ages and professions in a variety of situations is an important part of learning how this world works. Let's show our children some grace if it takes them some time to figure it all out.
I suppose that is one reason why I choose unschooling as our form of education. When children are unschooled they can accompany the parent to all types of appointments, chores and entertainment. Afterall, Living is Learning.
I remember the first time that I met a family of unschooled children. We met with other families to explore some train tunnels in a provincial park. The young boys came right up to me and introduced themselves, shook my hands, and started a conversation.
It was wonderful! But I have to admit I was a bit surprised, because usually children pretty much ignore other adults and only interact with other children. These young boys were very pleasant, and they treated me like an equal.
I suppose that some adults find it insulting to be treated as an equal by children, but I find it refreshing.
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How will children learn to interact with their elders if they never interact with their elders? LOL It reminds me of a line in an old John Wayne movie where the younger boy "Smitty" tells the old man, "I hope you don't mind me asking all these questions" to where the old man replies, "Well boy, that's how you learn, askin".
Exactly! Thanks for your support.
thanks too. I always support you. Thanks very much upvoted me.
Great post, I treat my daughter in the same way that I would another adult in a group or conversation. Mutual respect and that is how they will learn to interact and thrive!!
Just curious, have you also noticed much of if not essentially all of the bad things you hear about kids to be false? When babysitting I've built relationships with kids, even toddlers, where they see me as I see them, as an equal.
Funnily enough they always treat me not only better than their parents, but better than literally anyone they know. They respect me as I respect them.
That means no terrible twos, no babies crying for no reason, no fits. Not once, in the thousands of hours and nearly a dozen kids in the last couple years. Well once, one baby girl who was one was drove around all day by her parents and was ultra-upset and still she was only that: upset and fussy. Still no "fit" for me.
When you respect them they respect you, and mutual respect and trust means they listen to you as you listen to them, and thus no misunderstanding happen.
It's so sad so many babies cry and kids have fits simply because their parents do not respect them and won't let a child do a simple thing, such as touch a balloon at a car dealership, and thus the child flips out.
Have you noticed this too(?); that your kids are abnormally well behaved according to how kids apparently "naturally act."
I have noticed the exact same thing. All of the things that other folk see as bad, the bemused looks because she talks excitedly and interrupts them or she wants to do something and I let her and I can see people thinking she cant pull your trolley in the shops etc etc.
She is amazingly well behaved and I think it is exactly as you say above because she is respected and treated as one of us and not just a thing or an annoyance!
I always laugh thinking of all the confused faces and obscurity people think when I'm out in public with kids.
Especially from family, who have many times been holding their kids and then they walk away, and then the kid starts crying (usually baby, obviously) and I quickly run up and request the baby, they give me a weird face, I take the baby to what I think they want and then they're happy and we're back on track wherever in seconds.
Now the obscure face of wondering what I did and how I knew, and why would I go out of my way to do that, all bundled in one expression.
Little do they realize that not only is it good for the baby to do that, but it's good for you as you don't have to have an upset, sad, loud, crying baby.
Silly regular people clearly must not speak baby, or toddler, or maybe they just don't care :(((
Why not let your kid take a trolly in, especially if the store has baskets, it's really not obstructing anything, and besides, nobody really cares. They'd think it's weird, and obscure, but cute~
Yes. Well said.
Nice post @canadian-coconut
Childhood is the most beautiful period, A time that keeps us in peace, without problems... But when we grow up, we begin to be preoccupied with problems, which come and go...
Love this article. :)
Thank-you. Quite true.
Very valid points, yet people don't let people talk, letting children have a say would be difficult. A change is needed, yet it will take time.
What an excellent post. The paragraph that really stood out to me was, "Children do not have all the skills that adults have yet. This is obvious. But we must accept them where they are, and we must help them grow and learn." I do not know how that can happen if they are silenced and told to stand off to the side.
Children are like little sponges listening to grown-up conversation.
If you give them a chance to regurgitate it putting on their own spin to a topic it can be amazing to hear their perspective. It gives them a sense of self worth and importance. That is priceless.
I also know that there are children who have behavior problems and that can stem from a poor diet, lack of sleep, or most importantly vaccines. All those issues are a result of poor parenting. The behavior is not the child's fault.
Thank-you Mary.
Children are amazing and we need to treat them as such.
When you expect the worst out of someone, that is often what you will get, or what you choose to see.
Children are the future! We they are not nurtured and encouraged to grow there is not much hope for what is to come.
Woww!! That is so cool that you unschool your kids, I have looked into it extensively, and all my sons say they love school, so, me respecting them the way I do, I didn't force my way onto them. We are lucky though, our kids go to a school which only has 50 children in it, we live in the country you could say. Rural Nova Scotia.
I hope your words of wisdom fall on the right ears, children are SO important, they have so much value, and they teach me so much that I have lost in the years of adulting. They have a joy just for life. They live in the moment at all times.
Thank you for this empathetic post!
Thank-you.
It's so nice that we think alike on several matters.
I agree. I think there's a tendency to see kids merely as adults in training, rather than beings with just as much thoughts and feelings as you or i. they are complete as they are, and guess what, they're on the same journey of self-discovery. it lasts a lifetime.
I totally agree with you @canadian-coconut, before I had a child I was on the other side and though they should just stay out of it, but now it amazes me how they see the world and the problems. Now my wife and I really enjoy her opinion and input in certain topic because its completely from another perspective and it would never occur to me, not to mention that I can't really argue with her logic, although she is only 3 and 6months and doesn't comprehend everything, a child's input is just as valid.
Awesome post, will resteem.
As someone who just gained the "adult" title almost a year ago, I agree with this post wholeheartedly, (minus the unschooling thing, this is the first time I've heard of it so I'm going to be researching that today). I felt like I didn't have a voice until I turned 18, and even now I still feel I'm not allowed to have a voice in some topics in my family. Any time I try and disagree and debate something, I'm immediately shot down and told "not to be disrespectful!" as if it's disrespectful to not be a mindless robot that always says what you want to hear.
Thanks for commenting. I'm sorry that you still sometimes feel like you don't have a voice around your 'elders.'
Welcome to Steemit and keep learning and growing.
All the best!
I feel that we let people know how we expect to be treated by our treatment of others.
I look at children as humans, because they are! haha They are humans just like me, and we get to help form the world we live in by treating the young with respect and by showing them how to interact with others.
People who grew up with this "seen but not heard" mentality are most unfortunate in my mind. What's worse, I could see someone who was belittled in this way during their childhood, growing up seeking a place of power over children, like a teacher. Not that all teachers are power hungry, damaged former youths, I've known some incredible humans that chose that path with the intention to help children learn, but since compulsory schooling is a sick system, sick people no doubt gravitate there.
Thank you @canadian-coconut for speaking out, yet again. I do feel better about the chances of turning this world around knowing that there are wonderful people like you out there!