Parenting #1 - My 3 Unfulfilled Goals

As I enter a different stage of parenthood, I can’t help but to look back and reflect what parenting a boy has done in my life. I might be biased​, but I really believe that my wife and I have been blessed with an awesome boy. He does come with his character flaws, asking to be carried at inappropriate times, being whiny or even being unresponsive at times. Overall I would still say that he has been an easy boy.

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Before having​ a kid I’ve always been an expert at parenting, freely dishing out advice​ to parents who I felt in need of some help from me. As you would have guessed it, when I had a kid of my own, all my values and beliefs flew right out of the window. Of course, ​not all as I might have exaggerated, but here are some ridiculous principles that failed.

I will READ to my kid every night

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Growing up I’ve always been a reader. My parents would recall how I needed a box to carry all the books that I borrowed from the library from every visit. I would also like to think that my short-sightedness was developed from ‘chronic’ reading. But the keyword here is - growing up. I somehow lost the discipline to sit myself down and read for long hours. I guess because the computer was invented, and with it computer games. With my reading habit out of the window, it was really hard for me to follow through my noble idea. I would say I've only averaged 1 or 2 books a month so far. Gotta buck up! 💪

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My kid will SLEEP by himself

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I've always had this perfect idea that my kid will be independent​, sleeping by himself in the dark, or maybe with just a night light. Well, that went out the window as well. We were just too lazy to deal with the crying and decided that we'll just let that happen naturally (fingers crossed that it will). And while we're on that sleeping topic, this sleeping schedule thing ​is totally not for musicians. We finish work around 8 pm​ and by the time we finish dinner it's 9 pm​. Forget about getting everything done before the sun goes down. 🤷‍♂️

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I will NEVER buy toys for my kid

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I didn’t exactly grow up with a lot of toys, I wouldn’t say that I didn’t have a childhood but that was just how the way it is. I got my first game console when I was in college! Me and my wife, then girlfriend, got ourselves a Nintendo DS. So I thought I turned out not bad without toys (pardon my high self-esteem), and knowing that toys cost a fortune these days, we had a very ambitious​ goal to not buy any toys. I mean, my house is small anyway​, and it wouldn't be nice to have toys lying on the floor. Oh, and 1 more thing, perhaps it's my pride, I rather not buy pirated toys as they break easily. It's not like his grandparents aren't going to splurge on their​ only grandson.

Then Duplo has to come out with all these fancy sets. I, being a Lego fan myself just couldn't resist the temptation of getting a set for my son, hoping that he'll follow my footsteps. One set then led to two, then three, all under the guise of encouraging creativity. Soon after came Hot Wheels, then figurines of the TV shows he watches, like Paw Patrol, PJ Masks, Blaze and the Monster Machine and Transformers Rescue Bots. The whole process of searching, buying and collecting toys has been as enjoyable for me and my wife as it has been for my son, if not more. 😆

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Now that we have a new addition to the family, and having a few years of parenting under our belt, we're more open to anything. We just want them to be happy, and of course not spoilt in the process. Having a daughter I guess is a whole new challenge altogether. I'm pretty sure girls are different than boys (duh!), the emotions, the different physical attributes, the expectation from the society. All I can say is that I'm excited to see where this leads me in terms of parenting, and also the shaping of my own being. Now, anyone knows where I can get that shotgun? 🔫