Steemit Open Mic Week 98 – Unseen (The Good Fight) – Original

in #openmic3 years ago (edited)

This is a truly vulnerable share – one of my most candid songs to date.

It's brand new, and a bit of a departure for me in that...I generally end with some kind of hopeful, uplifting sentiment. That just didn't happen with this one. It's simply my raw truth...

I keep typing sentences, then erasing them; straining to pen some deeper explanation. Perhaps...I should just let the song speak for itself.

From my heart to yours – thank you for listening.

xo, Zippy

~ fair warning – if swearing upsets you, you might want to skip the last 30 seconds or so. ~



Unseen (The Good Fight)

there's a darkness that plagues my soul
something ancient and unkind
like the gravity of a black hole
it's been drawing me in all my life

I feel like a star that's collapsing
slowly losing my light
but still...tryin' to burn bright

there's an ocean of shame so deep
the tears of a thousand lifetimes
like a riptide, unseen
it's been pullin' me astray all my life

it's hard to keep my head above water
while the current keeps getting stronger
I'm just tryin' not to drown

so, here I am – in the boxing ring
throwing punches with the shadows
flailing against invisible things
weakened by these unseen battles

like a boxer, in the final round
broken and pinned to the ground
I'm just tryin' not to tap out

now – I'm just so fuckin' exhausted
but I'm still tryin' so hard to be alright
so – please – don't give up on me yet
'cause I promise – I'm fighting the good fight

I promise....I'm fightin' the good fight


~ Heartfelt thanks to @luzcypher, @krystle, @soundlegion, @passion-ground,
@verbal-d, @meno & @pfunk for all you do. ~

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Oh, my sweet twin friend, Zippy. If this doesn't win first place in open mic like I feel it should, then just know right now and here that I am saying to the world that it is first place in MY HEART.

I'm here for you anytime you ever need to talk. God knows you've been here for me and I'm a damn stubborn pain in the ass ... I wanna be here for you.

Your beautiful song speaks to me, truly. It is SO GREAT to see you back playing again. Keep going!!

Thank you for sharing your special gifts and your vulnerability with us all.

Sending love and healing light your way,
Never give up,
♥-Serena

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Your warm heart is a gift of the most precious kind, my dearest Serena. <3 Thank you.

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naaw, so adorable. get a room :P

Really so very emotional and heartfelt, sometimes even the hardest times can be a little easier when shared - I hope you find something positive to look forward to.

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#thealliance #witness

Thank you @c0ff33a – I appreciate your kindness. <3

I second that, coffee. Those were very sweet words. Beautiful song. Thank you for sharing. Such a lovely and pure voice.

@zipporah
Powerful
Vulnerability
Beautiful in the real
Heart Strings.
Wow.
😙

Thank you for listening @annephilbrick. <3

Thank You....!!!
I have listened to your song three times over..
😙
Awakened feelings .

That is pretty much the best compliment a songwriter can ask for. ;)

Wow. It’s so brave of you to be so vulnerable and share part of your struggle through music. I’m going to be perfectly honest... I’ve never actually checked out your profile and I had no idea you were a musician. I see your photography pretty often and have even helped my husband choose several of your photos for his #portaitcontest. You are a woman of many talents! Keep on burning bright! I truly look forward to seeing and hearing more from you. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself in this beautiful song ❤️

What a lovely message! Thank you, @melodyrussell. <3 I haven't entered that contest too often, but you just reminded me that I have a sepia portrait to submit. Hope I'm not too late! • Pleased to 'meet' you. ;)

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Beautiful and Brave. 💕

(There's nothing else to be said.)

Your 'blanket of love' is deeply felt and well-received. <3

You kinda wrecked me with this, Zippy...
I love it...
I'm tryin' not to tap out too...
You're alright, girlfriend!

Is it strange that even this comment made me cry a little? Of course, my intention wasn't to wreck people, only to express a thing that has mostly been inexpressible and, hopefully, help others feel ever so slightly less alone.

Deeply grateful for your kind words, @passion-ground. <3

It was a good sort-of heartfelt wrecking... ;-)

the highest compliment, to be sure. <3

Love your lyrics. Even though this is a very sad song, to hear you sing it in such an angelic voice and uplifting melody is therapeutic as one can feel the healing with each note. Please, don't ever stop playing and writing. I believe it's good for you and for others who hear it.

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It means a lot to receive such lovely feedback from you, dear @luzcypher. <3

Sharing this song is very much part of my medicine. I recorded several takes, and just kept breaking down. I think this was the only take that I introduced using the word 'depression.' I can't recall now if I said it in this one, but in some takes, I mentioned that I was choosing to share, despite the vulnerability of doing so – because it feels important, and worth the risk for the possibility that someone might hear this and perhaps feel a little bit less alone.

Love to you. xo!

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Click here to see who won Open Mic week 98

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Thank you, sooo much! I'm sincere when I say I didn't expect this. <3 My gratitude runs deep.

I can feel your sadness here @zipporah, in your soulful voice and words to this song. I admire you sharing your vulnerability, and I truly hope that somehow this helps you win this battle.

On a purely technical note, your singing made me teary and the final, quick eye contact you made was so touching; I didn't even know you could sing :) Such a heartfelt rendition. Thank you for sharing. Sending big internet hugs and positive vibes your way. <3

I'm also submitting this to c-squared; I'm sure they'll pay you a visit.

I appreciate all the hugs I can get – even the virtual ones. <3

It does feel like a crucial part of my self-care...to share in this way. The fact that doing so scared me was only confirmation of its importance.

Thank you for taking time to listen to the sound of my aching heart.

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Oh @zipporah, I do hope your heart stops aching soon ❤️

My dearest Zippy! This song is incredibly poignant and correlates beautifully to your recent struggles and obstacles. Now that I have emotions again after 5 years on ADs I can now cry freely and soak up others emotions and feelings! The empathy I have for others is pretty intense, and to that end, I thanks you for releasing these feelings from depths of my music feels.
This was a seriously amazing performance, deeply poetic lyrics, great guitar playing with video and crystal HD sound.
Bravo @zipporah Bravo my dear friend, you smashed!

DC

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photography by © 2017 Darren Claxton

Big love to you, Dax! Your heart is as vibrant and golden as that gorgeous flower. Looks to be a nasturtium, yes? ;)

I have been a few days out in the wild... no internet, just me, the mountains and the sky... I needed to think... So I was now slowly checking my feed and got a treat!

You are my winner this week, this has to win open mic
I almost cried before you even started to cry... we know the "dark place", I have some "companion songs" and know the feeling of not "knowing it they will overwhelm me" but that's the magic of it, the vulnerable, the honesty of it.
Gasp for air, because sometimes the undertow is strong, but we´ll make it to the surface.
Healing wishes....
deep breath
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Thank you, Pris. <3 I'd love to hear your 'companion' songs. • It's funny – the undertow/riptide difference really messed with me in this song. It came out first as a' river' with a 'rip tide unseen' that's been 'pullin' me down'. But riptides are in the ocean, and they pull you out not down. Undertows are in rivers, and they pull you down. So I experimented with a lot of variations, trying to find the right feel, while also being accurate. In the end, I wanted to make riptide work, because it was the nicest alliteration, so...I just figured out how to make it work. :)

Hey our dearest Zippy. Its hard for me to express all that this song stirs in me. The past four months of my life have been harder than any I've experienced, and I do feel I am fighting the good fight right along with you. I know for me, somehow I am using this depression to finally learn how to overcome some of my demons, which is profound and healing and I feel when I come through this I am going to have more strength and love in my soul than ever before. I hope the same for you dear heart, and I hear you when you say you promise you are fighting the good fight, you are so strong to make that promise. Thank you for bearing your soul for us. Sending you so much love Zippy ♡♡♡

Awww....Amy dear – I know you've also been going through such major upheaval and emotional strain. I've been impressed by the strength you've portrayed through all of it. I'm sure you have moments in which you feel weak, but...in case you forget; I'll always remind you of your inherent badass-mama-ness. Sending you and yer lil' loves heaps of warm hugs and giggles. xo!

Yeah some days Im a sob heap. And completely lose sight of reality, giving in to the sadness. The last time that happened I cried "let me go" over and over, speaking to the sadness, I felt lighter the next day, but I know happiness is a lifelong reconditioning for me. All we can do is our best each day right? I'm finding cliches to be really insightful lately haha.
Thank you for the hugs and giggles, the love, and the beautiful song ♡

That's beautiful, Amy...and endearing, to imagine you taking the reigns and asking it to let go. <3 The Sob Heap...that's totally been me. Gah....no wonder my face is becoming a puffy, wrinkled prune! LOL! Also...inspirobot is turning out to be pretty ridiculous laughter medicine. Endless sillies!

So good right? So glad my honey brought it to the steemiverse XD
I might do a bit of a deep real post today. Seeing others open up about their vulnerabilities is really... encouraging for me to share my own.
I used to be super open about my mental health struggles but now that im actually tying with all my might to work through past traumas and gain some real solid mental health I have trouble accepting that I still think these dark thoughts.
Anywho, thanks again for opening up kindred Zippy ♡

Yes, my dear – I encourage the opening up. I'll look forward to reading about your beautiful heart. <3

You keep amazing @zipporah <3 From the attraction to black holes to flaying at shadows in a boxring... Lyrics, voice and guitar conspiring together against these dark forces in the Good Fight, creating something beautiful... Really amazing :-) I sincerely hope you'll be at 100% health again soon; you're an amazing human being and this world needs you at full force. You know. For the good fight!

Thanks so much for another great song! :-) <3

I appreciate that, Winston. This song was such a stubborn tease, revealing itself in the slowest trickle. Yet the lyrics that presented themselves feel appropriate.

There's so much I didn't say that I originally thought I'd include in this post (perhaps I should still edit and add these thoughts in) that might provide even context as to these lyrical choices. One of which being that I strongly feel part of my issue has to do with epigenetic influence – something that quite literally rode in on my bloodstream as part of my DNA.

It's exceptionally difficult to rise above something that feels like a fundamental part of my structural foundation. Singing about it helps....

this is very beautiful and says many of the things I feel at the moment yet cannot express in words. please feel free to tag me or send me your posts, if I havent seen them. there are a lot of days I am just not strong enough to do discord, but it doesnt mean i'm not here to say hi and support you how I can. with love and hugs...

I had a feeling you'd relate. ;) I struggle to keep up with Discord, myself...so I understand. Likewise...feel free to reach out, should you need an ear. xo

How beautiful you are and how beautiful your work is ... Your expression touches me deeply. Thank you for letting me into your space. I am your fans and, from now on, your faithful follower on this platform. Multiple hugs and may all my love be with you and with your singing, @zipporah!

Your hugs are felt and well-received; thank you, @wilins. <3

My favorite line:

I'm trying' not to tap out

Just LOVE those lyrics. Sounds like you've been through the "ringer." Get it? OK, probably not the best place for jokes. But still. Those were beautiful lyrics.

LOL! Contrary to what this song might suggest, I'm actually a clown and very much appreciate the injection of humor. ;)

I had a funny little feeling about that. For me when something is really awful, it's always nice to have someone I love who can just kind of help me either joke about it, or about my miserable human condition. Even when things are insurmountably awful. As they can be sometimes. My dad is always able to make me chuckle, and so is this lady I know - both of them have been insanely supportive to me during a time of crisis. And they have earned the right to throw jokes my way when I'm about to die. So if you feel like you are about to die, then dm me and I'll listen any time!

That's fabulous. What a gift! May I borrow them sometimes? I promise....I'll return them, virtually unscathed.

Ha ha ha! You are hilarious. Well actually....you could borrow my dad anytime. He's @mistermercury! Hasn't posted in a few weeks, but will be back up and running here pretty soon.

I think you took a huge risk here to post such a vulnerable song. I'm so happy that it paid off. I bet you did not expect that...

Ooohh!! Papas for lease! How awesome! 😍

Thank you, again. 🌸 I most certainly did not see that comin’. Sharing was medicine; the win is simply a bonus gift. 🤗

I cried watching this zippy. So heart full, emotional and sincere. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen on steemit EVER. Thank you. Thank you so much for this. You are such a beautiful soul.

That is quite a humbling compliment, dear @gabyoraa. I'm grateful to know I've touched you so. <3

You are brave sharing this, that takes a strong woman to do so. Your voice is truly beautiful and so are you. I hate seeing you struggle with depression, and I hope music will get you back on your feet. Keep sharing your songs please as it will hopefully help you heal bit by bit. Take care!

I appreciate that reflection, @anouk.nox. I certainly haven't been feeling very strong of late. Yet it felt like an important truth to share – perhaps to chip away at the stigma, even if only by degrees. Thank you for taking time to listen.

I totally agree.. and I really hope you'll be feeling better soon <3

Oh Zippy, that was beautiful. You aren't alone and you are loved. Keep fighting.

Thank you, dear. I love that I can hear your sweet voice as I read your words. Makes me smile.... <3

😢

Oh, no! I made the pirate gimme sad face. Love ya, Drakos...thanks for the generous dooterups. ;)

What a beautiful song. :-) You are a very talented Musician & singer!

Why, thank you, @clove71. <3

Powerful lyrics. Keep fighting on.

Thanks to @anouk.nox, this post was resteemed and highlighted in today's edition of The Daily Sneak.

Thank you for your efforts to create quality content!

Thank you so much! I didn't even realize this was a thing. I'll go check it out. :)

You're welcome, and thanks for checking us out! We've been around since November, but there have sometimes been gaps in coverage and we rebranded with a new account in May, which was a lot like starting over as many readers didn't follow the new account.

Well...now that I know about you, I'll be paying closer attention. ;)

That is incredibly beautiful... so raw, so sweet... just want to give you a hug now... ❤️

You give me so many hugs, my dear KittyGirl. Your presence alone is a hug in itself. ;) Thank you for bein' in my corner. <3

Beautiful, @zipporah. Thank you for sharing. Maybe there's been a wave of a sort of depression or sadness wierd, as you say of "something ancient and unkind". Nice way to make your good fight. Greetings!

Grateful to know it's appreciated, this sad, sad song of mine. Thank you so much for listening. <3

It's ok. I've been sad too. I am latin, so, one of those times I wrote sad I got a Son Cubano (a latin tough rhythm but also soulful, very danceable jajajaja). Very good, @zipporah!

I'd love to hear that! perhaps you've already shared it or will share someday? I hope so!

I will share it someday.


This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.

Well, isn't that lovely! <3 :)

Beautiful song x

Thank you! <3

I love your heartfelt message and playing, wonderful tempo and picking ;9)

Glad you appreciate it. :)

Wow! it is so good!

Thank you! <3

You are welcome!

@zipporah, your song was selected to be part of the initial collection set of trading cards for the album of Steemit OpenMic.
Congratulations !!

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Excelente , Wow es hermoso tu trabajo, yo soy músico y me gusta participar en Open Mic, pero tú ere genial, aombrosa, soy fanático de ti.
Gracias por compartir esto con nosotros.
Excellent, Wow your work is beautiful, I'm a musician and I like to participate in Open Mic, but you're great, awesome, I'm a fan of you.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Greetings from Venezuela friend @zipporah
Again...
THANK YOU!

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"slowly losing my light

but still...tryin' to burn bright"

I feel this! <3

It is a sad song but you poured your heart out through it and touched others' heart by its power. The beautiful lyrics and your amazing voice made it perfect, even soothing. Thank you!

I finally got a chance to listen to this. Sweet, sweet Zippy. I love the honesty in this song, and, though my story is different than yours, I feel you. I've been there, many times. Always here if you need me. I'm not giving up on you, my friend. Much love!

So beautiful and heartfelt, Zippy. Thank you for being brave enough to open up and share this song and the emotions which led you to craft it. So many of us creatives wrestle with demons, and so many of us appear to be doing so like never before right now. Deep work is being done. We have to trust that we can bear it and survive it - that we can transmute this pain into a new way of being with each other, like modern-day alchemists. The dark and the light within us are two sides of the same coin, engaged in a dance of apparent duality. We are shadow boxing with our selves - with the version of us with which the World has presented us. BUT WE ARE NOT THAT. We are freedom, we are LIFE, we are waking from our tortured dreams. These sleepy moments where we're not sure if we're still dreaming will pass if we keep on shaking ourselves gently but firmly, treating ourselves with compassion, reminding ourselves to clear the sleep from our eyes and the confused state from our minds. We are the All and the Everything. We are the Nothing, too. We surface from the void and are tormented by the search for meaning, dogged by the illusions with which society (the World) puts into us.

Ask any other life form on this planet. Ask the stars, the trees, the birds, your heart. Life has no meaning, other than that which we ascribe to it. Life has no purpose - it just wants to be lived! How will we live? That is the question. And with your beautiful voice, your truest longings so vulnerably shared, you are LIVING, vibrantly. Keep giving expression to the life inside of you, in your own unique and wonderful way, Zippy! One breath at a time, my friend. With love, Jay <3

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