Steemit Open Mic Week 89 by @Luzcypher (Unofficial Entry) - Try Again

in #openmic3 years ago (edited)

This is my unofficial entry to Steemit Open Mic Week 89.

Just wrote a freshly-squeezed song and recorded it as raw as possible in one take on my cell so I don't forget it. Didn't try to polish it at all because I thought I would continue to work on it over time and perhaps record it once its finished this way I can make a post later that would show the process of creating, honing, and producing a song. Please forgive the mistakes and thanks for listening.

Songs are like children. They start out as babies and grow over time. Unless you're a songwriter it's hard to understand that. Most people hear a song once it's completely finished and never hear it in its infancy.

I have a friend who wrote and produced a song performed by Sheryl Crow called Leaving Las Vegas. You may have heard it as it was a big hit. But if you heard what it sounded like when he wrote it you would have never known it could be such a popular song. It sounded like a redneck Bob Dylan sang it with a pinch of tobacco in his mouth. About as shit-kicking, hillbilly as you could get.

That song sat on a shelf until he pulled it out while producing her first album, Tuesday Night Music Club and the rest is history. There were quite a few songs on that album with interesting backstories that perhaps I'll share with you one day.

Anyway, I thought I would make this crude first draft and continue to work and polish the song. I think it will make a good post for musicians to see the process from start to finish. It really is an art.

Hope you enjoy this version for what it is, raw.

Try Again

Verse: Dm / B7 flat / Dm / B7 flat / G7 / B7 flat / F / C / G / B flat

Chorus: F/ C / G / B flat/ C/ F/ C / G / Gm / B flat/ C

Eagle soaring in the sky
how'd you learn to fly like that?
Did it come naturally?
Do you think that you could teach me?

Where'd you get the nerve to jump
or did somebody push you?
Maybe just a little shove is
all I need to get me going
.

Little ant with giant hopes
never doubted for a day
you could move the rubber tree
ten times more than you weigh.

Always looking down on you.
Lessons you could teach me.
Could I borrow half your faith?
It's all I need to know I can.

Jump into the arms of the universe.
Hope it's going to catch me.
If I fall and hit the dirt
how bad you think it's going to hurt?
Pick me up and dust me off,
get back up and try again.

Spider spinning out a web
praying on another meal.
Wind come blow it all away
I know just how you feel
.

Test your virtuosity.
Talk about tenacity.
Build yourself another one
better than before
and if the wind should come again
you can always take up flying.

Jump into the arms of the universe.
Hope it's going to catch me.
If I fall and hit the dirt
how bad you think it's going to hurt?
Pick me up and dust me off,
get back up and try again.


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You've been "caught by the Universe," brother - dusted off and otherwise validated for all your tenacity and musical glory. This is but one small reason why the Open-Mic is what it is... Peace-Out, brother... I fucking LOVE this!

There is something to be said about persistence and consistency. Glad you liked it @passion-ground.

Naw, man... I friggin' loved it... Nothing at all to do with persistence nor consistency - simply all to do with you and your expression here, bro... fucking awesome is the bottom line!

Right on! That was great! Thanks For Playin Open Mic!

Man... I've never told you, and I feel like I should...

You are one of the most positive supportive dudes of our community!!

Thank you for being you...

I notice man.. it might not seem at times, but I notice!

Luz is the man! - ...a "man's man"... and that you can take to the bank! And he doesn't differentiate between the sexes - just in case any snow might be in the forecast... It's all blue sky, brothers and sisters! .x

Aww, shucks. Thanks, @meno.

Wait a minute, let's make it official.

I like official😂😂😂

Well that was just fuckin’ awesome!⭐️ I realize that’s not the most articulate response, but you’ve got me all pumped and smilin’ big! I’ve only ever seen your face as a pixelated 2-D thumbnail. Hearing and seeing your jolly spirit makes me grin, ear to ear! 😁 Annnd — the song is rad, too — off to a splendid start. I look forward to hearing its evolution. WOOT! 💜

Thanks, @zi[[orah. I love your music. Just realized I missed your show on @meno's Songwriter's Showcase so I'm listening to it now. Love everything about your music.

Thank you, dear! That means a lot coming from you. 💜 Truly — before joining Steemit and discovering the Open Mic community, my music lived in quiet place of ‘once daydreams’ — not so unlike a beloved teddy bear, tucked away with other nostalgic keepsakes; occasionally held with a sense of loss and longing. 🌿 I’m so deeply grateful for the love and kindness you’ve all shown me and my little songletts — you’ve revived my muse and given me a new sense of purpose. 🌺 THANK YOU. 💕 xoxo!

This is awesome Luz!!! BADASS SONG!!!

I hear it all produced in my head already!

I know you have those kinds of ears @meno.

Songwriters and musicians are two different breeds.

I was hanging with Willy Nelson once and he put the fine point on the difference.

Musicians, he said, play songs. Songwriters will play the same song for days, weeks, months, years. Most musicians will get bored playing the same song for more than half an hour. Songwriters can go on and on, trying different things, different keys, beats, tones.

Anyway, you got those ears bro.

Thank you for the compliment brother...

Btw.. I gotta tell you... looks like I've secured the @steembirds for tomorrow's Radio Show...

It should be real fun...

Awesome. I'll definitely be there for that. What time does it start again?

10pm eastern time!

So, what instruments do you hear playing it?

I hear a hammond, a gibson fat tone (think bonamassa), bass and drums....

Hammond is key... give it enough old school and anchor the style down....

@pechichemena
What do you think?

Yup , Old schoolish .. I might include acoustics and electrics ;) . Who knows , it does have a songwriter's touch ! Agree with the hammond if you want to keep it on the school side.. Elec keys might bring it more to ''today''. Bass and drums.. yep.. rock style .. a P-bass and heavy energy hitter !

Btw .. awesome song Luz! I loved it ! I hope to see it finished.. of course.. if you'd like me to help with the production.. count me in !

Rock on Luz!

harmonica solo will be awesome in the last part of the song ;)

That’s what I was just saying about the production!

That's the first time I've heard you play in this format. Very cool tune! It has that kali chorus sound so you've never lost your roots:)

It's the first time I've posted on Open Mic. I guess it does sound Kali-esque.

NICE SONG @luzcypher !!

<3

Sounding pretty sweet man!
Songwriting feels like the hardest thing - it just doesn’t come naturally to me but you got ‘it’.

When you get around to it is there a chance of getting some stems please?

Luz I love your smile it just grabs me from the inside and then I start to smile. contagious !! Absolutely loved hearing you perform mate, funky cool song you kick ass my friend. huge love all day everyday

I 'm listening with pleasure . Great song and vocals !


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wow brother this is amazing, a hug !!!

Wow that was surprising!, you should record that one properly with a full band! :D

It would be cool to have a band record it.

What instruments do you hear playing it?

An alternative rock band, drums, bass and 2 guitars lml...

Great sound Boss...!!!

I am impressed @luzcypher it really sounds like some hit from the 90s and I love it, I would love to be your drummer

Hey man, you're really good...! Awesome :-D

You have style in the guitar man..good execution.

Me gustó mucho. Saludos

Ahhhh yeah! Wow awesome @luzcypher Man, thanks for sharing that with us. Great to see you jammin and what a great song. Loved it!

Damn hot Song! REally like that Bluesy Rocknrolly Feel...
A Bass, Eguitar and Drums and this could really be an eagles or Bruce SPringsteen Hit :)
Wonderful...could get used to those unofficial Posts every Week...
Best Wishes,
Johannes

Wow. That song has made me like you even more. Thank you and much love, sir.

Wow. That song has made
Me like you even more. Thank
You and much love, sir.

                 - gtelefon


I'm a bot. I detect haiku.

I would be happy to put a track together for this. I'll send you an mp3 once completed, great tune Brother!

Go for it! That would be awesome to hear you cover this.

It was sweet of you to share this @luzcypher
I like the freshness of the songs when they are born.. sometimes as I write them and I go forward, they lose part of it... or they shift into something else...

Loved this line
Jump into the arms of the universe.
Hope it's going to catch me.

And actually is funny cos I'm a kind of person that do wonder about ants carrying weight and spiders doing industrious cobwebs hahaha XD and I "admire" them. No joke. I really give biscuits to the ants of my house just to see them working hahah XD
sounds weird I know :)

But I think they teach us things really...

I wish I could take the leap too like that eagle... Need to let go some fears and burdens to do so...
Maybe there is no edge at all.

Luzcypher. I love what you do. You radiate pure life energy, how playful you move, how beautifully you sing and what a brilliant chord sequence you have chosen. I love the B7 flat chord and changing in into the major parallel in the chorus was also a great idea. I wish you the best. Stay as full of life as you are. Peace.
Sami D. Barid

Thanks, man. I love listening to you play.

Friend I just need your beard, what an excellent piece, I liked your style, with some country with rock.

Holy hell, man. I am embarrassed to say I never heard you sing before now. I'm going to go stand in the corner and be punished now for being late to the party, but I'm playing this vid in the background. Kick ASS. Much respect, truly. Spectacular.
♥-serena

Muy linda canción amigo, me ha encantado la letra, saludos desde venezuela.

Qué gusto, @luzcypher. No la vi venir. Me encantó tu presentación y el tema está genial! XD

That was great man! as I supposed it should be!!
Congrats!!

That first little lick is nice. Song overall is pretty good too, love the sound, like a whinny-less John Mayer. Like, if I was walking down the street and you were playing at a restaurant...that's where I'd have my lunch. Just saying. Nice work. I could try and put a little uke part together after a few listens. The only song I've composed on my own has been a rendition of the little mermaid 'Part of your world'....nahhhh, I'll leave it you.

good entry, hope you won this week! ahahahahaha, whoah, its such a joy giving a voice to you, thank you! love your message. good vibes

i suggest that at the first of the video you say "Steemit openmic week .." and your username, but anyway, was a good entry :P

yeaaaahhhh aunque no entienda nada wow que buen song!!!

Yea baby, nice to hear ya sing and of course play some guitar!

AWESOME BRO!!
Rad riff! Especially minor feel coming off the hooky chorus.
So many influences I can hear in this. Elements of the Beatles, elements of The Rolling Stones and even The Black Crowes.
It was easy to imagine the production in my head to this which is indicative of a well written tune.
And then to cap it off there’s your radiant smile beaming throughout! So good!

What is the high-figure wood that the guitar top is made from? Kinda looks like walnut, or even a variation of an Australian wood called Bunya Pine.
Maybe @meno can recognise it..?

@luzcypher I forgot to mention that it'd be amazing to collab on this tune with you! Maybe that's how we can have our first jam before we meet in the offline world.

Do it here online!
!

Blissful blessings and smiles
in joy
Nathan
NK

I would love to hear you work your magic on this song @nathankaye! Go for it!

Really cool song man.. I really dig the groove. What kind of guitar is that?

It's an Ibanez. Actually, @brimax can be seen playing the exact same guitar in some of his videos.

Nice.. I like the trim on it alot.

Wow, what a cool song! It was a pleasure to watch your video.
All the Best!

Great to hear you play! Been waiting for this, hope all is well with you man!

Great to hear you play!
Been waiting for this, hope all
Is well with you man!

                 - jumpmaster


I'm a bot. I detect haiku.

Hey it's great to hear you singing and playing guitar you have a lot of style I loved, I will give reesteem to always have this song close when I want to listen, is great I love how you are staying, I hope to see the whole process of future arrangements, you have motivated me to Improve my compositions, I soon hope to show the work culminated. A hug!

It's now clear to me why you run the openmic.
Never knew u could play n even sing too
Whoa!
Very good one sir @luzcypher
I think I should come for some tutorials😊😊😊

yo!!!!! easy bro!!! check you out with your funkylicious and goovy vibes onn the geeetarrrrrrr!!! loving this bro, you got a cool style both with your guitar playing and your charsmatic vocals, you in my top 5 this week for sure!!!!!!!!

Thanks, @moderndayjester! It was great to see you win Open Mic and I'm glad you stuck around. Also loved the collaboration you did with @soundlegion. I've got that tune on my iPod now.

wow Luzy! I can't believe in all this time, this is the first time I saw you play. (apart from a vid of you in a band that you showed me from YEARS ago....I could barely even recognise you!)
You are rocking it dude, its a great song. Hope these guys get it together and produce it for real....! Looks like theres a lot of love for it :)

Thanks. Missing your music @basilmarples. Hope to hook up with you again at SteeFest 3 wherever it is.

Oh my god, you are very good, I loved it

hello @luzcypher, excellent brother style, I liked it a lot.

excelente gran maestro david

Really nice, @luzcypher! Great energy and positivity in this song. Big love m8

Bravo! Beautiful song and performance Luzcypher. I also continue to try again here brother. God Bless you!

Yep that's my jam, excellent compisition , I have to admit it got me straight up interested !!!!! I might cover it soon :)

WOW! So cool to see the host doing his thing! i have to say that this was absolutely wonderful, really liked your song Lu! the message, and the performance, everything! so natural and "raw" as you say but that is what it makes it so cool if u ask me ... greetings !!

Que linda cancion!!! very good song!!! 💖

wow! very cosmic lyric!
i like a lot your guitar style
yeah! and the tune sounds very cool
not raw at all, i like it, the sound of the voice
awesome too :) congrats!
the song have the "mojo", the "joy" feeling for this guitar sound priceless!

Jajajajaja Woohoo! Bravo!

¡Errrgaa! buenos bendings te lanzas y la melodía es muy buena.