The Schteinn Report -- A Real News Report For The Real People Of The Real World Of Steemit ~ All Original Content ~
~First Edition~
For All The News That Ought To Be News
"Tired of Fake News and Alternative Facts? -
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Welcome, to the First Edition of 'The Schteinn Report'
Brought To You By: Variable Productions Limited
This one is : 'On The Vine'
-A Steemit Post Review: "Why Humans Don't Drink Monkey Milk- Earthly Comedy Review" by @therealpaul
Rating: ᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥ - 10/10 !
(Happy heads @ the theater)
Recommendation: You Really Should Go Read This Article
Photo taken from article, which was taken from Pixabay
REVIEW:
For some reason, this one really clobbered the old horsehide over the fence of truth for this writer. I don't think this scientific article was intended to be funny, but it provided me a bit of light mirth. But lets face it, I have a fairly sophisticated sense of humor, compared to most people, and have that rare tendency to read between the lines more than most.
And this one WAS Scientific. The author classified this one under Sience Korner. And I'll come right out and say it: The world needs more real science. (Though I think anyone that is going to write a highly researched article about scientific stuff, should at least invest in a good spelling dictionary.)
All epytomological difficulties aside, this article was a veritable classic. A serious discussion concerning why we get our daily AM cereal pour from the bovidae of the world, rather than trying to milk our little friend and genetic tree-mate, the monkey.
He hit this one right over the noggin with the old tennis racket of truth. More than once. And when you take a moment to think about it, all this DOES make sense. Cows ARE slow, and not all that smart, and have milk, and though I've never actually tried milking anything myself, they WOULD be a whole lot easier to catch than a monkey. They're inside a fence.
And the entire milking industry would have to be re-designed, if we were to start getting milk from monkeys. And that costs real money. Who wants to pay $18 for a glass of milk?!!! No, I think we should leave things the way they are.
Not only that, but this @therealpaul fellow actually took the time and effort to get his facts straight, and went out to interview a local farmer named Mr. Perkins, concerning these concerns. Talk about dedication to the story. I'm taking notes on this one!!
Well, that's all for now on that Post. Head right out and check it out. You Just Might Like It.
"Old Fashioned Science Reporting The Way It's Supposed To Be" -dds
Thanks for stopping in, to get some REAL NEWS -dds
A Huge Shout Out, with a reporter's official megaphone goes to @ocrdu for designing this wonderful new credential for the Schteinn Report. Not only is it gorgeous and well developed, but I now have access and entry into places I'm probably not supposed to be. ( I really appreciate @ocrdu creating this card for me, as I've been waiting for WEEKS for my 'Official Reporters Card' from The Newcastle Online Reporting School Of Pretty Good Journalism -Apollo Beach, FL. They have not been returning my calls, it seems they have moved to a new address.)
OFFICIAL PRESS CREDENTIAL:
-FUTURE STEEMIT POST REVIEWS: Stay Tuned, Folks!
Please Check Out My Other Posts, If You So Desire
~ALL ORIGINAL CONTENT~
Nice! Yes, the 'Sience Korner' allows for my style of research into such serious questions about where milk comes from, and particularly why not monkeys. The cruelty of things like the poultry industry or large dairy operations can be put into perspective when the animals look a lot like us. It's big industry, big money with big guns, so the title 'Sience Korner' is my protective tinfoil hat so to speak-- I can say anything I want!
Dear real mr. Paul,
I just read your article, which I would have missed had I not seen ddschteinn's review.
Your fine monograph made me raise the corners of my mouth and expel staccato "ah" sounds, which was surprisingly pleasant, and so I have decided to follow you, in a wholly non-stalking way, I hasten to add.
Glad to cause a pleasant reaction, and I'd follow back, but I was already following you. Thanks for the follow, and I do have serious things to say here, but I'm sort of a jester I suppose, so this page ends up as a theatrical variety show. Tough crowds lately, so I released the monkeys!
Those industries are notorious, and hard on the 'volunteers'. That's the largest reason I gave up on eating them. Now someone has to milk those wild Flax's for me, wherever they might roam and range. Still need to get a chicken or two though.
Glad you liked the post. I was trying to get it out before your payout ended, but we all know about that timing thing and staying up too late for Steemit.
And if you ever get around to molding those hats, and selling them, let me know. I'd like one shaped like a knights helmet. With a broom bristle thingy on top.
It's been about a year since I ate an animal, as my attempt to lessen the suffering in the world, tho I do still use eggs and dairy for now. I imagine if I saw the true meaning of 'cage-free' I'd learn to do without the eggs, and the dairy is just cheese habits and such, can be broken, or I could find humane sources with some effort.
Didn't mean to come across all purist there...I eat eggs (hence the chicken remark), and would probably drink milk, except for the occasional "end" result. Pretty sure the cage free chickens are happy, at least in general. Cows...that's another story. Plus, they are a huge contributor to global climate change. Giving up cheese...that's one of those cold finger-prying kind of things. Maybe not the liquid orange by the gallon can you could plug a bathtub leak with, but a good feta, cheddar or Wensleydale with cranberries in it, sorry, gotta have it.
Not purist-sounding, you admitted to needing the chickens, the eggs were implied! hehe I hardly talk about being vegetarian, or whatever, because my "I'm a vegetarian, for moral reasons" tends to sound like; "You people are terrible, eating those poor animals!" But I don't try to sell it, I just do my little part, that's big to me.
My neighbor wants me to get chickens, but I fear I will turn into a chicken wrangler, and she will get all the eggs. Big decisions of life.
I used to stand on my pedestal now and then, but after being taken askew, and getting tipped off a few times, I've learned your way...go quietly about your business of the small steps, hoping they have an effect over time on the larger picture. That's about all any of us can do, plus it helps one keep some friends.
Well done dear friend @ddschteinn congratulations
Thank you for the comment and read. Stay tuned for more news that should be news...
Oh, this was just awesome. I support anyone who supports @therealpaul, who is brilliant, funny, talented and a man I am proud to call my good friend.
What a great idea to do a post review, I'll have to remember that!
Thank you so much. Your kind words are appreciated. And I would agree, he is brilliant and multi-talented. His artwork for Reborn was amazing. Don't know him real well, but he is an impressive writer, with many different layers and meanings in his works. Always enjoy them. And thanks again for re-steeming my earlier post. Muchly appreciated.