These are the two only chess openings you need to know!

Found myself playing a bit of chess these days so I thought to share some quick and easy wisdom. I used to play a lot more in the past as a bachelor student, nothing too excessive, I would say 5-6 games per week on average.

I'd never became an expert or something but I had reached a level that generally I would win 95 % of games with every day players like me, and even win a lot of games versus people that would probably be considered quite a bit above average, either due to experience or due to natural talent.

Now, if you are anything like me you probably have a tough start... in the start of the game.. No fucking idea what to do, other than opening the kings pawn and playing the horses or whatever. And if you are anything like me, you are too lazy to learn openings.

So, here I am to save you. I will tell you the only two openings I ever bothered to learn, that once I started practising them, my chess game improved dramatically. One opening for when playing white and one when playing black.

Both openings have the following things in common:

• Easy to learn
• Most people don't know how to properly react to them, even intermediate players. Often they will even think they have a small advantage only to found themselves losing a big piece or even a checkmate just a few moves later
• Moves come "naturally" and you will find yourself attacking from all sides with many of your pieces
• Applicable in most cases
• If you play against an expert or someone who has learned the proper answers by the book you will have a slight disadvantage but nothing major. If they are an expert you are fucked anyways.

So for white, the one opening I have learned is the kings gambit. If he moves the queen pawn, I go for the queens gambit. Usually since I play with average blokes I end up playing the kings gambit. There's not much to say. You make a small sacrifice in return for quicker and more complex attacks. 

As for black, the opening I use is the stone wall defence which i fucking love to play. I guess the reason is that I always sucked with black. I had no idea how to open, so I usually tried to draw the game through sacrifices or hoped for a mistake from my enemy. But the stone wall defence opened for me a totally new different world. Suddenly, instead of a passive player going for a draw or a pawn victory, I found myself going on the offence almost right from the start. And the best thing is that almost nobody knows how to properly react to it. What I love even more is how natural all the moves and especially how naturally the attacks come. I have found my self doing some really nice checkmates with this opening and have defeated way better players than me thanks to it!

Here are some videos explaining these two openings:

Now, in case you wonder I played a total of 9 games these days. Ended up winning 8. The guy I was playing with me is someone I considered to be much smarter than me and a more natural chess player. I would have probably lost most of those games a few years back if it wasn't for these two openings. Not bad for a dumb fuck like me.

P.S.: Photos by my hot wife, @ruth-girl. Thanks honey!