You are what your deepest desire is. As is your desire, so is your intention. As is your intention, so is your will. As is your will, so is your deed. As is your deed, so is your destiny.” ~ Upanishads

When it comes to natural medicine and our well being, it often begins by looking inward.

Normally I would write about herbs, forest walks or something more along those lines but today I've got something a little different in mind.

Sometimes herbs and remedies only alleviate symptoms making it easier for us to push forward without doing the hard work of digging deep into the root of what ails us. Herbs are essential allies, but sometimes, we are the only ones that can indeed fix the problem.

This is my response to the Natural Medicine New Year Healing Resolution challenge.

I began 2019 with vigor and enthusiasm, setting a whole pile of resolutions: I would do better at keeping the house organized, I would get my business going, I would develop more products, grow more food, get in better shape, start playing the banjo, learn this, and that and this ...and the list just carries on for miles. At first glance, it seems like all this planning and organization of tasks should bring calm, but it's been the opposite. Honestly, I started the year in a frantic flurry of trying to do too much at once.

My body responded to this ill-treatment, sending signals and warnings that I ignored for a while. The result was that I stopped being able to sleep. I've been waking up in the middle of the night, tossing, turning and feeling anxious for the better part of January. I've been getting horrible heart flutters that I often get when nervous and unsettled. I am tired. I haven't even been able to write because I am to darn tired. I recognize that this lousy state that I am in is of my own doing.

While trying to get a grip on what's going on, I've come to realize that I have been fixating on the outcomes rather than the essential part: the journey. I should be focusing on the process that will help me bring these goals to fruition. Also, by continually telling myself that I "want,” “need,” "must" I've been hard on myself and self-sabotaging myself at every turn.

While trying to sort this sleep issue out, I came upon something called Sankalpa. I imagine for many this is a familiar term, but to me, it is all new and has brought me great clarity.

Sankalpa (Sanskrit) an intention formed by the heart and mind. According to Yogapedia: Unlike a goal, which is a personal need to accomplish something, the concept of Sankalpa turns inward to connect with the heart's highest intention. A Sankalpa is a positive declaration or affirmation, such as “peace is my true nature,” rather than the ego-driven “I want peace in my life.”

According to this article, to develop Sankalpa, you must define your deeper purpose and create the steps to get there.

They list five steps in the process.

Clear - Find a quiet place to reflect on your desires. With pen and paper, write out all that your heart deeply desires, your feelings and vision.

Listen - Once you have written down all that you desire, set aside a quiet time of stillness and reflection hold space for your higher truth to arise naturally. Ask yourself, “What is the essence of what I deeply desire? “

Define - ask yourself what is the deeper feeling beyond the goal – is it feeling vibrant and healthy, is it self-love? Can you distill it down to one or two powerful words?

State - Once you’ve found those powerful words, turn them into a positive affirmation, an “I AM” statement. By stating your intention in the present tense, you are acknowledging that what you seek is already within you.

Repeat.

I am a beginner and only just learning this new practice.

I'll be starting over and wiping away the lists, the resolutions and the worries and demands that I have created. I am going to trust in ancient practice, focusing on my Sankalpa, gently allowing my subconscious to plant that seed in my soul.