Last night I attended an Open Mic night in my community and I took part for the very first time. I have wanted to do spoken word for quite a while now, but always felt so nervous about doing it, so I just never did.

But last night I read out two of my poems and the response was great. I went from being super nervous, to slightly buzzing after doing it. I am surrounded by so many amazingly creative folk, and I have always felt slightly intimated by them.

The are all lovely people, but I have always been so hesitant to perform in front of them, because they have been doing it for years now in festivals all over Europe. So I just convinced myself that I would embarrass myself, if I did.

It didn't help that I also was previously in a relationship with some one who never encouraged me to be creative, instead always pointing out faults about anything I created.

Our First Home, converted Bus I really like the kitchen we build!

We both converted a bus into our first home and I was so proud of what we had done, yet all he did was find fault with it. The first time I built a stool, ,all he ever did was complain about how impracticable it was and kept on threatening to throw it out.

I also made a utensils holder out of a beautiful branch and I caught him trying to get rid of it a few times. I guess that is why I never really wrote when I was with him, because he always belittled everything I did.

All of these things coming back to me now, whilst I was with him, I just felt very incapable.

So last night was a huge deal for me. I found my voice and my strength to stand up in front of about 35 people and share my creations. Everyone was so encouraging before I went on and it really put me at ease.

My beautiful friends, including Alison.

A good friend of mine, Alison even come over to visit me before hand, so that I could read my poems out to her first and she could give me some feedback. This friend is so so talented and will be performing at the Royal Albert Hall in London next year as part of a Spoken Word Festival.

It really just got me thinking about how we put ourselves into boxes sometimes and how very damaging the opinions of others can have on us.

My insecurities run deep, they have been with me since I was born. I know my mother didn't want children and felt trapped in a violent marriage. So everything that came after that, just pushed me further and further into my box.

Writing on here has been a huge, huge part of my healing journey. Being open and honest has really allowed me to let go and see myself for who I am.

Last night was like the icing on the cake, because I spoke the words that I have been sharing on here, the two poems I read, are my most recent ones. I am so proud of myself and I have got a few very encouraging messages this morning from some folk who were there.

I didn't take any photos, I really just didn't even think of it, I was too nervous. But next time, and there will be a next time I will tr and arrange some and hopefully so I will share a recording of my Spoken word too.

Here and here are the links for the two poems I read last night.

8 Pillars of TribeSteemUp