Sha-la (a short story)

Sha-la

So there I stood by my window at the back of my apartment, looking out at the parking lot, thinking pessimistic thoughts of oppression and self destruction. With a flick of my lighter I lit my glass blue pipe, packed full to the brim with sweet savoury marijuana, the green only a short distance on the spectrum of colour from the pipe itself. Puckering my lips as if to whistle or to kiss, I blew out a long cloud of smoke exhaling long and deeply forcing all the smoke out of my lungs. I felt like a dragon breathing smoke, I wanted to breath fire. 
Then I heard the buzz. That annoying buzz of a fly bringing its filth into my home. What disgusting creatures flies were I thought. Shit eating, pests with an exoskeleton and wings to help them spread their filth more effectively. I took another long draw from my pipe, this time holding the smoke in my mouth to keep it thick, then slowly exhaled a cloud of pungent smoke directly on the fly, for I knew this would stun it. Swatting a fly with your hands was near impossible but if you first stunned it you could then exterminate it with ease. Its movements slowed, there it stayed on my window screen trying to shake the debilitating effects I had laid on it. Not wanting to touch it with my bare hands I flicked my lighter underneath it sparking a flame for but a moment, and singeing its wings, it fell into the corner of the window sill. 
Then I saw her. The fly fell into a silky transparent bed, which I imagined would be of the most comfortable material. Struggling to recover, it buzzed and struggled, in a panic; it knew it was in dire circumstances. She ran out from a crevice between the screen and the lip of the aluminum frame encasing it, with such speed it was a shock to realize she was there to begin with. A black spider, no larger than an eraser head on a pencil. I could not see the fine details of her figure, as she was small and  dark, occupying a dark corner. Her powerful front four legs gripped the fly as she sank her fangs into its abdomen. The fly buzzed as if it was having its own little existential crisis. Its noises grew slower and quieter, twitching becoming still. As still as she was from the moment she had it in her grasp.
What divine beauty I thought. I did not like bugs but this was no bug, this was an arachnid, a killer of bugs. How it delighted me, to know I had helped her capture this pathetic wretched filth. She needs a name, everything of importance needs a name, beyond its classification. But what to call her? I stared at her, the shine on her exoskeleton accenting her figure beautifully. 
“Sha-la.” I mouthed, barely whispering the name that came to mind.

She became my queen of the damned, a sort of royalty occupying a realm I was not from, She existed in an underworld, a world of monsters and chaos, I existed above her, luring flies into her web she could not even comprehend my existence. How sad it made me to know that she was unaware of my affections, and the care I had for her went unnoticed. I was like a God to her. Occupying an over world of order, I made gifts fall from the sky, ensuring she was well fed. Could she see me? What does the world look like through the eyes of a spider? Eight eyes I thought. No, there was not a chance that she could grasp the scope of my being, we were so close but so far apart and all I wanted was to bridge the gap between us, to meet her. Oh how she would love me if only she knew of my efforts. 
Usually she was out of sight, except when I dropped a live insect into her web, at which point she would dart out like lightning to receive my gift. But then she must have been stirring when I was not around because I would find the discarded carcasses of her meals at the outer regions of her web, sucked dry and hollowed out. I also noticed modifications to her web, she must be working at night while I slept. Wouldn't it be great to see her work? To see her tending to her home and garden of corpses. What was a day (or night) like for her, what was her routine? 
I lay awake one sleepless night, listening to the gentle tapping of rain drops out my bedroom window... I wonder if I could relocate her to my room, she would be that much closer to me. 
I had been tossing and turning for hours in a sort of lucid state, then I sat up in bed. Sha-la! I knew deep down that she had to be awake now, after all she sat in that crevice all day this had to be the hours that she stirred. I sat up in bed looking out into the darkness. Pulling the covers away from myself, exposing my bare skin to the cool night air I stood and gently opened my door. I grabbed a small flash light from my closet, checking to make sure it had batteries. For some reason I was moving as slowly and silently as possible through my dark kitchen, the flash light still off, as if I was trying to sneak up on her. I didn't even consider why that might be.
I was at my kitchen window now, holding the light up, I clicked the small black button on its side, unleashing a beam of light which shone directly onto where I knew the web was, and sure enough she was there in the middle of the web, spinning a repair to the weak parts of her home where her previous victims had done damage in their desperation. I brought my face close to the web, I wanted a closer look. Inching closer not wanting to touch and possibly damage the silky art work she had made, I brought my face as close to her as I could. I was mere inches from her now.
Eight beady eyes, with curling dark fangs moving like knuckled fingers, on a swivelled armoured head, her skinny legs holding her engorged rounded body off the ground, the shine from the light creating a glisten on her black outer shell, I could hear the clicking of her fangs as they rubbed together, and see the small hairs on her legs. She was staring right at me. I shuddered and drew back, she was a monster, and now I had seen her unforgiving face. Not that she wasn't still a beauty in my eyes but that I hadn't realized how cold a glare she had, a heartless Goddess with no remorse or conscience. 
I closed the window, leaving her between the glass and the screen, wanting to put some sort of obstruction between me and  her. It wasn't enough I thought, she could easily crawl under the crack of the wooden window frame, she could go anywhere in my apartment she pleased. I quickly went back to bed, not getting any sleep that night. Keeping my door shut tight and remaining fully aware that she was still stirring in just the other room.
I didn't open the window in my kitchen for days after that; and every time I went in there to cook or grab something from the fridge I eyed the window cautiously as if at any moment Sha-la might come springing out at me. I was being silly I thought, there was nothing to be afraid of, there was nothing she could do to me, I was much bigger than her what harm could she possibly cause me? This didn't help. I bought a fly swatter and started killing house flies myself when I saw them, it was actually a lot less effort that way, before I had been meticulously trapping flies in the window and repeating my smoke method to stun and drop them into Sha-la's web, now I simply flicked my wrist and the fly would be a splatted mess in an instant, the only difference now was that I had to clean up the mess. 

Weeks later I lay asleep, or so I thought but when I woke up, I was not in my bed, I was on some sort of long cream coloured flat surface, i could see it fragmented into many pieces, actually as I took stock my surroundings I realized i could see in all directions. I tried to move, bzzzzzzz. AHHHHHHHHH!!!! i thought in panic, what is going on. I tried to turn my head downwards but soon realized my head barely moved, but i could still see my legs. They were thin, and hairy black legs, I could also see my mouth as I tried to scream but only saw the flicker of a dark, straw like tongue; I felt the twitch of something on my back... wings. 
It couldn't be, no no no nooooo! I was a fly. A disgusting nasty buzzing fly. I've got to wake up! I'VE GOT TO WAKE UP!!!!
My panic changed nothing, I did not wake up, this was no dream, dreams were never this real. I wanted to run but instinctively my wings buzzed and I was in flight. It was so disorientating at first I could see in every direction in a million little reflections it seemed, and my movements were so sensitive I could dart anywhere in an instant. Landing on the ceiling, I began to feel just a bit powerful. I was flying wickedly fast, and with precision, I could see everything, and I could go anywhere. The light shone in through the windows, illuminating the huge cave I was in, all right angles and light colours. The colours of my apartment. How had this happened? Was this real? It couldn't be I was not thinking like a fly must, I was thinking as only a human could. 
Whats that smell? It smelt sweet and succulent, thick and overpowering. Instinct carried me towards it, flickering my wings rapidly darting out zig-zags through the air, an indirect path correcting myself when the scent got weaker. I was nearing the ground, a white room is where i had entered with a slight tinge of yellow on the floor, this was the bathroom. Still following the scent until it appeared in my sight, at first just a few reflections fragmented in my vision then a million images of the same thing, a brown coloured mound. This was the source of that sweet. Sweet smell. It was shit. I knew it was disgusting, but only because I thought as a human for but a moment, and that did not last long as instinct took over again. There was no thought to be had, only pleasure to extract. I landed on the damp, brown mound, sticking out my straw tongue, tasting the feces I had found. It was so delightful that I stuck my front two legs in it, then brought up a small portion to rub all over my head and body. Yes this was heavenly, like satisfying a deep inner urge, and it appeared that this was good for my well being anyway. 
Bzzzzz Bzzzzz. Another fly, this one a female. I knew it by her smell, it was obvious =, the observation took no effort. I lifted myself into the air and landed directly in front of her. “Bzzzz Bzzzz” I went. She blankly stared back at me. Of course as an insect there was no emotional expression to be had on our faces. We wore skeletal masks, no exterior muscle at all. But she did not move away, what could she want? Thoughts vanished, instinct took hold again, rising back into the air, before I knew it I had landed on top of her planting my front legs on her back side, I pushed myself inside of her. There was much to be admired in her form. The reflective dark green of her outer shell, the orange, red tinge in her many mirrored eyes, her clear wings, how clearly I could see the black skeletal framing in them. This was the height of my entire life I felt, my whole purpose brought me up to this point, what was I even doing? It only felt like self gratification, but there was a sense that I was accomplishing some greater purpose. A surge of pleasure then it was over. That was it, what a blip of time, how cruel that this moment was so short lived? She flicked her wings and I was pushed off. Where to next? 
There was nothing to think of, everything came naturally. Towards the light I must go. I saw a light shining through a window, and other flies around it. It was incredible the distance that I could travel in such a short span of time, it felt as though I were going at hundreds of miles per hour then suddenly stopping every time I landed which was quite frequently. I was like the most advanced air plane that could ever be conceived. Now I was at the window, but to my dismay I was prevented from escaping into the expansive world outside. There was a black grid-ed mesh between me and my destination. I took flight again and slammed hard into the mesh repeatedly, but to no avail. I could not get out. Thats where I had to go, I knew it to the core of my being. Attempt after attempt was made, searching for even the slightest opening or weak point. Pulling away from the screen then flying back towards it with such force, I would not be swayed. 
On one of my attempts I was suddenly halted, stuck by a previously invisible force. Bzzzzz Bzzzzz. OH GOD! No, no, no, NOOOOOOOO! I recognized this in my most primal of fears, the silky almost transparent white sticky webbing, that caught my legs. Pulling hard at it, I buzzed and tugged at the lines, but every movement only wrapped it around me tighter. In my many reflective sights I could see her come out of the corner, time had slowed down. Out of the crevice she came. Sha-la. She quickly filled all my sights, all I could see was a million images of eight eyes above knuckled fangs, racing towards me. Sha-la noooooo! Don't you recognize me! 
It was far to late, the only noises I could make were buzzes and if anything this only excited Sha-la, as she pinned me down with her powerful legs and jammed her fangs into my abdomen, punching holes in my exoskeleton a bit of my insides sprayed out around her teeth. I could feel my temperature rise very quickly then a cold sort of numbness came immediately after. It felt like being hollowed out, as if a vacuum had been taken to me sucking out my blood. I slowed down, beginning to accept my fate. Horrified at what was happening but becoming more distant, from the circumstance at the same time. My sights became darker, slowly the images of Sha-la's monstrous face fading away to black, as the last thing I would ever see, and the reflection of myself in her black beady eyes.

I sat up straight in bed as if I had been electrocuted. The hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up. Gasping for air, covered in cold sweat. My hands were five fingered, my bedding familiar. It was just a dream. It was morning. I shuddered, then drew the covers off and stood, relieved but still shaking off the horror I had just lived, or thought I had lived. Into the kitchen I went. Slowly I opened the window to expose the web belonging to the queen of the damned. She was out of sight, thats even worse I thought. My temperature rose. Don't be such a chicken shit, I thought. I found a twig, laying in the window sill, only a few millimetres thick but a few inches long, I wished it was longer. Gently I touched the web, then twitching and gently pulling at it. As expected Sha-la darted out grabbing the twig and trying to bite the inanimate object, realizing her mistake she began to retreat but it was to late for her. I mashed my thumb on top of her crushing her frame, popping her like a pimple, wincing as I imagined her fangs in my skin. Dragging my thumb across the sill i left a dark skid mark consisting of her parts. Sha-la was no more. 
Relieved I turned to the sink to wash my hands, get off all her guts. Inspecting the thumb that had done her in carefully checking t for bite marks. Nope, not a mark to be seen, at any rate, there were scarcely any poisonous spiders in this part of the world any way. Back to the window sill I went to examine the web. How silly was eye? To make such a fuss over a creature so beneath me? This was all much ado about nothing. Breathing deeply i looked back out at the parking lot, smiling at the bright world outside. There was nothing to worry about now. Then I looked back at the web. There was something in the corner of it I had not noticed before. It looked like a small ball of cotton. It was an egg sack. I started to wonder what was in all the other dark corners of my apartment, and under all the small untended spaces like under my fridge and stove, in the cracks of the walls, between the baseboards and the walls.