Nanomancer Creative Writing Competition Entry -- The Great Wound

in #nanomancer7 years ago (edited)


Hello everyone!  This is my Nanomancer creative writing competition entry.  You can find the contest here.  A good colleague of mine introduced this contest to me over at the MSP Fiction Workshop on Discord.  It's an awesome place, if you are the least bit interested in writing, you should scurry on over to the Workshop.  Feel free to leave a comment below if you would like an invitation to the chat room.  

Anyway, I love writing fantasy and sci-fi.  I chuckled inwardly with joy at seeing the world that @benjojo has built for this competition.  I am honored to be able to add my meager ability to the ranks.  Thanks everyone and cheers! 

Word Count: 696

The Great Wound


Tens of thousands encircled The Great Wound.

Countless muscled arms and stubby legs were thrust deep into the earth, melding with the stone, forcing the Dwarven Nation into a position of supplication—their bulbous faces gazing upon the immense pit before them. Centuries of slavery had left them little more than husks of flesh and bone. Yet the Gundenbroc still obeyed their command.

And now, it is mine—forever. It was an afterthought mostly, but it always reminded the Nanomancer of the familiar rapture of domination. Temporarily powering down his optic sensors, he licked his lips. He still remembered what it was like to close his eyes, even though technically, he no longer possessed any. Sometimes, he missed them.

A shuffle and grunt brought him from his reverie.

“The gathering be ready, Marr Ryuda.” The wretched dwarf was possibly the ugliest of her kind, albeit relatively intelligent. Her general lack of scars was a testament to the Nanomancer’s toleration.

Although he understood the Dwarves primitive language, he found it distasteful upon his tongue. Instead, he’d sent a cloud of bots to imprint a basic vocabulary of High Hythsen upon the creature’s mind. She was not worthy of his gift, of course, but at least her screams had been a small recompense. Hundreds of her kind had perished before he’d found one that survived the imprint. He had enjoyed the search and had been somewhat disappointed after the process to find her still quivering on the ground, clinging to life.

He waved her off impatiently. “Return to the circle and begin!” She hobbled off to obey.

He knew he was close. It had taken years of research, countless experiments, but he knew what he sought was buried here somewhere. For months, the Nanomancer had wielded the Gundenbroc to scour Gethyra for what he sought. The result was what the Dwarves had termed The Great Wound. Several miles deep, the cavernous hole in the outer crust of the planet could likely be seen from space. He liked the term the Dwarves had given it, and had decided to let them keep it.

Soon, he would be freed from this blasted prison.

The same energy field that allowed him greater control over his nanobots also limited their functionality. Sub-dimensional gating was out of the question. The day that the Nanomancer had loosed the fatal cloud of nanobots among his brethren and gated to this forsaken rock had been both his greatest achievement and his greatest failure. He was trapped here—but not for long.

The female dwarf had rejoined her people below surrounding The Great Wound, molding her arms and legs into the earth beneath her. As one, the deep rumbling of their voices reverberated through the bleak terrain.

“O’ kin, let your blood sink deep,

Down into Gethyra’s bones,

An’ wake the secrets that sleep,

Amidst the dark and stone,

Gundenbroc…

Gundenbroc…”

The Great Wound responded to the collective energies of the enslaved Dwarven nation. Gargantuan slabs of earth and rock were torn asunder from the walls of the Wound as it widened and deepened. Still they chanted.

“O’ Gethyra, your children wail and weep,

O’ kin, listen to how the land doth groan,

O’ Gethyra, we remind you of your promise—keep,

And make your enemies atone.”

Gundenbroc…

Gundenbroc…”

The Nanomancer sneered. Ungrateful vermin!

It was the one thing that the Nanomancer could not stamp out of their minds. Oh, he had tried, but no amount of mental reprogramming or nano-manipulation could cease their incessant chanting. He suspected it was tied into the power of the Gundenbroc somehow.

No matter. The Wound below boiled and churned under the power of the Gundenbroc, sifting through millions and millions of tons of rock and earth. Searching. Seeking.

Soon, the source that powers this repulsive world’s insidious energy field will be mine!

He gazed upon the once-proud Dwarven people below.

“Once I am free of these chains of dirt and filth, my first task will be to rupture your nauseating sun and make it bleed its molten death upon the entirety of your solar system. Let’s see if your Gundenbroc can save you then!”

The Nanomancer’s foul laughter cascaded down to the slaves below.


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You have absolutely smashed the brief. Thank you very much for taking the time to enter.

This comment has received a 0.52 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @banjo.

Wow! Thanks @benjojo . That means a lot to me. The world you created seemed like one I could just dive right into. Right up my alley. I shared the contest with the rest of the MSP Fiction Workshop. So I'm hoping that some more submissions will trickle in at the last moment. Cheers and thanks for the awesome opportunity!

Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by Nexusfyre from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews/crimsonclad, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.

Great imagery! Tens of thousands of dwarves surrounding an immense pit - wow, that Great Wound must be almost a Grand Canyon, for that many supplicants to fit around its rim. And how they meld into the earth - yikes - nope, I won't be converting to that religion!

Yeah, it's a little bigger than your average crack in the sidewalk. Good ol' Gundenbroc, he doesn't ask much from his people. Just a little stoic faith.

Excellent!! "The wretched dwarf was possibly the ugliest of her kind, albeit relatively intelligent. Her general lack of scars was a testament to the Nanomancer’s toleration." You give us so much history and character in two little sentences. You say a LOT - with so few words. Bravo!

Shorts like this force me to compress my writing, which is really good for me. I tend to get too long-winded otherwise. Thank you again for your kind words Carol and all your help at the Fiction Workshop.

This was seriously dark and creepy. I assume that was intentional.

Haha, yeah a little bit. The world that @benjojo created seemed a bit darkish to me, so I followed suit. Tried to bring out the vileness of the Nanomancer. Thanks for checking it out!

Followed "suit" (I know, I know, there's a time and a place to mute the inner editor) ;-)
Dark is right, Bex!
I'm not a fan of dark magic, megalomaniac sorcerers, violence, and all that, but talented writers like Nexusfyre get me to keep reading even if it's a topic I'd prefer to avoid.

Thanks Carol, you've always got my back. And please do not silence your inner editor for my work. Any and all advice from you is always welcome!

Always love your work, @Nexusfyre. :-)

That means a lot to me @rhondak! I love how contests like these bring us all together over at the Fiction Workshop. You've a strong entry, tough to beat! Good luck and cheers!

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Of course I accept @gmuxx ! Thank you for everything that you do! Cheers!

Nice entry! I really like the way you wove the verses of song into the story.

Thank you, sir! I couldn't get J.R.R Tolkien out of my head when writing this. Must've been his fault...

Beautifully done Nexy! Great imagery, great story, well played with the dwarves and their superpowers. I love the story and I am enjoying this new world of the nanomancer. Congratulations on your win, I am only now reading the stories.
Jhagi.

Hey Jhagi! Thanks for stopping by. This one was a lot of fun. Right up my alley. Especially since there are a few similarities between the nanomancer world and my A World Long Sundered world. As always, thank you and take care!

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Nice! I think you have a real feel for fantasy. The scene is on a huge scale but you bring the magic with the detail. I can see the Great Wound really clearly!

Thank you so much! I love detail and description, so much that I get too long-winded sometimes. Which is why shorts like this are perfect practice for me. Cheers!

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