A Geeky Dad's Movie Guide: The Prequel

When I take my kids to a movie, I walk in with a completely different set of expectations than I do when I go to see an adult movie (No! Not that kind of "adult movie". Get your head out of the gutter!). I'd be crazy not to adjust my exceptions. After all, I'm there for my kids, not for me. Therefore, when I write installments of "A Geeky Dad's Movie Guide", I will be writing from the point of view of a dad... not a movie aficionado or even a geeky adult.

20th Century Fox

I have mentioned before that the most fun I have ever had in my life is watching my own children have fun. Therefore, kids' movies have an added crutch to help boost them out of the "complete waste of my time" category. If I'm able to stay awake, avoid face palming myself a dozen times due to the utter stupidity of the writers or director, and I'm interested enough to fight the urge to check steemit throughout the movie, I consider a kids' movie a success. That is of course, as long as it fulfills the most important criteria: my kids enjoy it.

Sitting next to your child as their eyes light up, they laugh, or they gasp while watching a film is simply wonderful. Their reaching for your hand, laying their tiny head gently on your shoulder, or excitedly turning to you to say, "Dad did you see that?!" can combat some of the worst writing and directing. For me, the best examples of this are the Star Wars Prequels.

Like most Star Wars fans in their 40s, I hated the Prequles when they were released. They are absoultely terrible. After originally seeing them in the theater, I vowed never to see them again. I was able to fulfill that sacred vow for nearly 10 years.

Lucasfilm

Because my children share my DNA, they are natural Star Wars fans. Some of my son's first words were the names of Star Wars characters (I'm so proud). I read Star Wars picture books to them. They watched the original movies when most people would say they were far too young to handle the content. But the Force was strong with them, so they enjoyed the films more than any three year old ever should have. Even though my kids loved the original trilogy, I avoided showing them the prequels. If I had my way, they would have never seen those movies and their childhood would have been just like mine: filled with good Star Wars movies that actually made sense.

Unfortunately, two summers ago, my son Timmy began to beg me to see the prequels. Although I dodged this for as long as possible, I couldn't keep finding excuses forever. Finally, I broke down and picked up all three movies at my local library (there was no way I was going to give Lucas any more money for this garbage). I brought them home and popped them into our "home theater" which consists of an extremely cheap projector, movie screen, and surround sound system located in my unfinished basement. I plopped down next to my son, and mentally prepared myself for the two and a half hours of toruture I was about to endure.

A Clockwork Orange Warner Brother and Hawk Films

As I sat next to my son, something very unexpected happened... I didn't hate the movies. I didn't hate when the terrible actor playing Anakin yelled "Yippee!" I didn't hate when they tried to explain the force using the the word "midichlorians". I didn't even hate Jar Jar Binks. Ok that one is a complete lie. I was just checking to see if you were paying attention. Of course I still despised Jar Jar... I don't completely shut off my brain while I'm watching a movie with my kids. But for the first time, I was actually happy while I watched... because my son was REALLY happy.

My friends all knew I hated these movies. Believe me they knew. When I don't like something, I can't shut up about it (I am also the same way when I really like something). So when it came time to explain that I actually had an enjoyable experience watching the Prequels I had sworn to hate forever, I knew it was going to be tough to explain. I was a Star Wars purest who was turning his back on the Star Wars fanatic creed "The Prequels are the worst movies ever, George Lucas hates his fans, and Han shot first!"

When it came time to justify my new stance, I was able to sum it up with one scene. In the third installment of the prequel, "Revenge of the Sith", there is an epic battle between Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. For some reason I could never comprehend, it took place on a planet covered in lava. I don't recall how the "writer" set up this little encounter... my guess is that like most of the movie, it wasn't set up at all. It just happened. That scene always annoyed me... until I watched it with my son. He was so excited. During the battle. He would alternate between cheering and yelling "oh no". It was an emotional rollercoaster for him.

Lucasfilm

When the movie ended (after Anakin apparently turned into Frankenstein and yelled "Nooooooo!") Timmy asked a question that changed my perception of the prequels forever. My inquisitive little nine-year-old son looked up at me and asked, "Dad, how did they film that battle? How did they get all the cameras and actors into a volcano?" I just smiled and said, "I don't know buddy."

That was it. That summed it up. He didn't ask, "What the heck is a Trade Federation?" or "Why did Anakin turn evil so fast?" or "Why was the acting so terrible?" The only thing he didn't understand was how no one died in the volcano while filming the movie. My son thought that the movie was filmed in a freaking active volcano. That is glorious!

Shia LaBeouf by Rob Cantor and zmyaro

Those movies were made for my son. They were not made for me. Kids have much stronger imaginations than adults. He didn't get hung up on all the nonsense I had complained about for years. He sat back, watched, imagined and had fun. Thanks to him, for the first time during those movies, so did I.

I had intended for this to be the introduction to the first installment of "A Geeky Dad's Movie Guide". Unfortunately, I drifted off on one of my tangents and this piece grew into something all of it's own. In my next post, I'll actually do what I had intended to here... write a review of the movie my son and I just saw. Please be on the lookout for my review of "Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children".

Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation,
Chernin Entertainment, Scope Pictures