What kind of person do you want to be?
I still remember when I was young, around thirteen or fourteen years old, I always feel that my life will over after 30 years old. That time, it’s still far away from 30 years old, the things that wanted to do things should have done before 30.
After graduating from high school, I had a chat with my friend, she said: “30 years old is still too young, should live until 35 years old, at that age is neither old nor young, is just a good age, like warm wind between spring and summer.”
I said that would be better at just that age.
But, can you really choose?
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That year, while I was traveling to Penang (another state) with my friends by train, looking at landscape keep changing outside the window, as if I was traveling through time. Suddenly feel that I have set up a myriad of lies and living in the lies. What can we control? So ridiculous.
Between reality and ideal, you have nothing!
People do different things in different stages so that you won't be eliminated, but is it true?
As a child, I hope to grow up quickly, when relatives ask: “How old I am? ” Adults will say he’s seven years old; then I will immediately loudly retorted: “I’m turning eight soon!”
Growing up, thinking of the horror of 28, 30, 40 years old ... And, tell myself that childhood is the happiest. After a few years, you sit on a bench, under the sun, looking at the colorful world and talk to a cat. What do you think then?
Growth is so cruel. You have never been satisfied with each stage of your life!
What kind of person do you want to be?
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You thought that when you grow up, you will be sparkling like Superman, then only realize after grew up, we don’t even have that courage to wear underwear on the outside.
Those who hope, those who have courage, those dreams disappearing day by day, become thinner and scattered when the wind blows.
Is the time that pass or it is we who pass?
You thought you're mature, but we're just getting scared and afraid of losing.
Sometimes, somethings will never work no matter how hard you tried. Work hard to the end only left a weak smile.
I saw a text before: You live for 10,000 days? Or did you just live a day and repeat it 10,000 times?
To a certain stage, you will not aspire to the vigorous, the brilliant future, all you want to do is just something you like, not because of development, not because of material, just because you know that is right, you need it, you like it. Even if you just plant a flower, or read a book.
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I accidentally discover a photo studio along a tree-lined road.
The owner of the photo studio was two white-haired men, one of them is taking photographs and the other one edit the photo. They were watching TV when I arrived, and they were sitting on a blue flannel couch. I don't know what relationship they are, they are probably old friends, but I believe they are lovers.
When I went to take the photo, he was combing his hair, and his eyes were full of smiles. Even the air is sweet.
I believe they trust each other so much that they love each other deeply.
I have a friend who sells insurance, and he asks me to join him. I said I couldn’t do this; I can’t speak well, I do not like to deceive, my world is too small, I only have a few friends.
He said that I need to expand my social circle, I have to work with former colleagues, classmates, make contact with more friends.
He advised me to make more friends, get more resources, make changes so that I can make money.
Maybe he’s right! But it is so hard to change myself, then who I will become? Is that what I want?
My ideal living conditions: a simple job, a bookshelf, a house, some sunshine, a cat, a person who can accompany me run or jump together, or cry together.
You have your attributes.
Then, stop thinking yourself as someone else, or go to a different place, start living a new life, new self.
In this way, laugh if you want to laugh, cry if you're going to cry. It's OK not to be the worst of yourself.
Amazing write up. I can't remember when i lastly read ever word on a steemit post but yours was able to pull me through.
I'm very much social here socializing in order to make some $$ but in real life, this is not me as i like to be lonely and always studying.
Thanks for your compliment.
I am much like you, I'm not good at socializing in real life and even on steemit.
The question of identity is a great philosophical question of whether are we our body or our memory? Are we what remains of our memory or our body that generates new cellss constantly?
When I was young or even a teenager, I have never taught that I will go into teaching and become an educator one day. This has never been my dream job. I became a teacher when I wanted a change in my career and I recalled how my primary school teacher who had made an impact on me so I wanted to do the same. Our course of life may not be always what we plan but if we can find a route that we find meaning in it, we can find that every stage can be meaning as we learn to be content. Thanks for sharing the thought as I was also like what you had mentioned when I may not had been satisfied with each stage of my life in the past.