Good people doing evil things scare the hell out of me!

Bad people doing evil things doesn't bother me as much. That's expected, and life is dotted with evil people and bad things. I've adjusted to that reality.

But all around me, I'm seeing otherwise good people doing malevolent acts on a regular basis.

• injecting their trusting children with diseases and toxic chemicals
• memorizing and encouraging others to memorize fake versions of history
• torturing and raping cows for their breastmilk, which we needlessly put into almost everything we eat
• enslaving and murdering sentient animals to produce food we that isn't good for us

The list goes on, but does it need to? Any one of those things is a recipe for tragedy on a personal and societal scale. Yet we can't turn around in public without seeing evidence of these evils. Many otherwise wonderful people are participating in these heinous acts. It's an evil world, and it seems almost everyone is participating.

I myself have done all the things on that list at various times in my life. I carry huge regrets over them. I have almost no other regrets in my 4.5 decades, but I absolutely wish I hadn't hurt so many others. You can't take back the past, so don't put things there you're going to later wish you hadn't.

I'm sorry, SO sorry, for all the violence, tyranny, suffering, and harm I have caused, and continue to cause.

I look for ways every day that I can reduce my 'harm footprint'. I'm plagued by the guilt and shame for what I did as an ignorant meat-eating person who didn't know better, but thankful I stopped doing harm once I realized it. Now, I search for more ways to reduce the harm I'm doing, just as I continually look for ways I can improve the lives of myself and everyone else.

When I see parents forcing untested vaccines and pharmaceuticals into their children, knowing nothing of the science and merely trusting the system, I feel angry, sad, and helpless. I'm not swayed by propaganda telling me only crazy people fear government injections, because I know it's a lie. But so many people have fallen for it, and fear questioning the vaccines because they'll be called "paranoid anti-vaccers". So they line their children and teens up for the syringes, silencing their questions.

Otherwise moral and sweet people I know are paying someone to needlessly torture and kill other animals. The factory farm meat industry contains billions of frightened, traumatized, suffering animals that want to live, and want freedom. BILLIONS. Who is responsible? Every person who contributes. If you eat meat you didn't hunt yourself, you stand guilty of this crime. Otherwise good and intelligent people, conditioned to believe it's normal, or healthy, or natural. And they have no insight into their evil. No amount of information or emotion can move these people. They're just doing what many others are doing, and this gives them a feeling of normalcy bias, that if it's common, it's okay. These people are themselves livestock, having fallen under the control of elite social engineers, who have tricked the humans into believing they require flesh to stay healthy. A world full of bloodsucking leeches, vampires, zombies, and vultures... that don't see themselves that way.

If they don't know they're doing evil and don't consider themselves monsters...

Am I like them?

Am I also delusional about my major lifestyle choices? Do I cause harm with my diet, clothing, actions? Am I a monster too, and simply don't know it?

I really hate the idea of being a monster, doing evil. I hate the idea that I'm making the world a worse place. I hate the idea that I'm wrong about who I am, that I'm going down the wrong path, that I'm creating future regrets. I hate the idea of being ignorant.

We probably all hate those things. I guess I just hate them more than most.

DRutter