Desperation of an Overwhelmed "Starving Artist"
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The Struggle Is Real
This Post Is Dedicated to Susan Jane Busse
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/http://i.imgur.com/ZldLVod.jpg)
Thanks
As an artist I'm faced with several obstacles on a daily basis which only challenge my ability to be creative and resourceful. Whenever I have an idea that I want to produce.. I research endlessly for options and ideas that might help get me exactly what I want and where it needs to be.
We started developing the series, HighlandPark in December 2015
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/http://i.imgur.com/7t05Uhf.png)
I took the reigns as an executive producer of the film.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/http://i.imgur.com/49tSWMBm.jpg)
It was my duty to generate publicity, funding and find resources that would help us get the film shot by mid summer.
After several days of searching for investors and applying for grants, I came up short and started to worry. The doubts began to manifest, fear of failure and the responsibility of funding an entire film production weighed heavier by the minute.
I came to a decision... I wasn't going to worry about anything standing in my way.. I needed to do whatever it took to fund our Film and get my ass to Los Angeles and even more... bring my son with me to share the experience with
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/http://i.imgur.com/p2C0sFj.jpg)
I Made It Happen
Around this same time, I became very active in a P2P lending community that I am very fortunate of finding. I was learning about bitcoin and crypo-currency and by pure coincidence stumbled onto that community of very smart and helpful investors.
I used my talents as a filmmaker to win the hearts and trust of everyone and my reputation shot up extremely fast. After making several small loans and repaying them...
I convinced them to invest in my loan request to not only cover some production expenses but also personal expenses for me and my son (Of course, the fact that I am a successful entertainer with a very open and nearly transparent lifestyle helped. that's beside the point)
Bitcoin Funded Our Series
So Yes, Bitcoin funded a good portion of our series.. covering the cost of costumes, equipment rentals, gas, food & lodging. I Made It Happen
The only problem left was the task of paying it back as promised. At first, my budget and plan was perfect.. until unexpected fees and expenses started to reveal themselves and because I was "Executive Producer" I had to make sure they were covered.
The Moment You Realize Your Foot is Already in Your Mouth
We immediately started working on post once I returned from California... If your familiar with film production you will understand how exhausted I was by this time. I was spending hours upon hours reviewing, organizing and editing footage.. sacrificing sleep and the urgent need to make money. I needed to start booking auditions for acting gigs again to make my usual paycheck but my loyalty and commitment to this production somehow trumped common sense and I nearly forgot about the promises I made to my investors.
This is Me
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/http://i.imgur.com/jQhMwCcm.jpg)
In a Nutshell
Last week I managed to release our official trailer for HighlandPark but couldn't manage to make a full payment on my loan. Honestly, I never considered this situation... that my only source of income would be based on my ability to share my art and opinions with others.
Did I bite off more then I can chew?
You bet your ass I did...
Would I do it again?
Considering I'm still waiting on several expenses to be paid back from others involved in the film and that is for the most part WHY I'M STRUGGLING... HELL YEA I WOULD
When should I expect those expenses to be paid back?
PROBABLY NEVER a mistake and lesson learned from this production. Now I know to stick to the plan and not get taken advantage of.
Welcome to the dark side
Believe it or not.. this is the dark side of filmmaking... Although I am struggling to pay off around 1 bitcoin of loans, the experience and joy of bringing these stories to life and the potential return from it's success is far greater then the stress and anxiety I am currently dealing with.
![](https://steemitimages.com/0x0/http://i.imgur.com/4ngMFOo.gif)
I set my goal and made it happen... it might be an ugly way of reaching it but I reached it none the less
Now that the dust has settled... it's time to clean it up, pay it back then get ready to do it all over again
Because this is a way of life and I have no shame embracing the fact that
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/http://i.imgur.com/NdKpj5Bm.jpg)
This is the Desperation of an Overwhelmed "Starving Artist"
Till Next Time... Adios Amigos
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UPDATE.. JUST BOOKED AN AUDITION FOR A TACO COMMERCIAL NEXT FRIDAY
How Mexican of Me, lol.. cheers!
Every story of success that I've ever heard includes some stories of dark seasons. But since you do it for the love of the art, I'm sure you'll keep pressing on.
Oh yes, definitely.. Eventually I will find a solution to the issue at hand Paying off the debt
but I will continue creating, working and contributing as an actor, artist, father and borrower :)
https://decentralize.today/the-ugly-truth-behind-steemit-1a525f5e156#.ykybiryhr
whoa buddy... callout, lol
I'm curious... why did you post this on here? Have you tried that site out? A member?
Are you trying to "hint" something to me? lol
I just saw it on Pinterest when I searched for Steemit last night. I made a post about it today. It would make sense though as to why you see the same authors everyday in the top earning posts, if whales are just upvoting their own work. I am not going to invest any more money now I don't think. I am going to try Yoursnetwork when it becomes available it sounds like a better voting scheme and it can't be manipulated like Steemit. Yoursnetwork is going to pay in Bitcoin they are saying.
@nextgencrypto @liberosist @repholder this is what I was talking about earlier
I am just tired of getting 35-40 votes on posts to have them equal .20-.30 cents. It sounds like all votes on Yoursnetwork will be equal weight.
well that ain't the worst news to hear today... bigger changes in curations are bout to happen... no bueno mang
It would be nice if changes are made to prove this post invalid, I bet it was just someone mad that all their posts only got .01-.02 so they made that. We shall see time will tell. But if Steemit is legit then they will make changes, lots of competition coming Steemits way for sure.