'Discordia' The Mythical land where an epic battle took place to protect the Minnowtons from the Whaleons.

Many have heard the legendary tales of the mythical land known to history as "Discordia" but until recently historians weren't fully aware of the monumental battles that took place to save the Minnowtons from the Whaleons.
This is the story......

The story starts twelve centuries before the birth of Christ when a humble people known as the Minnowtons who lived in the idyllic land of Discordia, were laid siege to by the evil King Bernus Sandus II.
The Kings aim was to steal the wealth of the Minnowtons to share amongst the Whaleon elite.

King Bernus Sandus II

The Minnowtons were a peaceful people struggling to survive from what they could eke out from there dry and desolate land. Between them over many years of hard labour and trade they had managed to accumulate a treasury full of gold and silver steemats the currency of the Whaleons. When King Bernus heard of the great treasure he was determined to invade Discordia and take it for himself and his bloodthirsty Whaleon friends. The battles raged for years.

A few brave Minnowtons tried in vain to repel the hordes and were on the verge of defeat when a mystery benefactor from Whaelon known as Benjojotus took pity on the Minnowtons and agreed to fund an army of like minded Whaleons and mercenaries from far and wide to help defeat the evil King.

The man thought to be Benjojotus.

The heroes that assembled to battle the Whalon army came from all over the known world thanks to the benevolence of Benjojotus. Lands such as Australis, Merica and the frozen land of Canukia.

The first to arrive was one of King Bernus's great rivals Aggroedmemnon from Merica, a fierce warrior who was looking for revenge against the Whalone King. Aggroedmemnon had been seriously injured at the battle of Downflagus 3 years previous by the King using his own flag staff.

Aggroedmemnon at the Battle of Downflagus.

The next into camp from Australis was the legendary warrior Ausbitium, hero of the Battle of Storey Bridge in Brisbarnum where he single handedly decided the outcome of the battle by challenging the invading forces to a drinking contest in which he drank the entire army under the table and slit their throats as they lay comatose.

Ausbitium seen here with his mate 'Brucius' after the Battle of Storey Bridge.

Finally came another awesome dog of war named Teamsteem-eh hailing from Canukia with his latest battle trophy and 4th wife the lovely Caconite. He had taken her from the Island of Couvervan whilst on a raiding excursion on his way to Discordia.

Teamsteem-eh and his wife Caconite arriving in Discordia.

The scene was set, the opposing forces were in place with both armies lined up outside the walls of Discordia staring at each other across the battlefield. Not a man among them knew whether they would survive the coming battle.
And then the armies charged...........

The fighting was savage with both sides suffering horrendous losses. An early casualty was Teamsteem-eh who was carried from the field with torn skirt by the heroic Aggroedmemnon.

They battle went in favour of the Whalones at first and the Minnowtons held their breath as they feared the worst. Later however the battle turned on a single piece of legendary Australis courage. Ausbitium fuelled by copious amounts of Minnowton ale decided enough was enough and there would never be enough time for the after battle piss up if they didn't get a move on.
With that in mind he charged at King Bernus's army with a plan to kill the one man that kept the invading army fighting.

The Kings personal bodyguard.........Bigbadassicuss!

Nobody gave the brave and slightly hammered Ausbitium a hope in hell's chance of defeating Badassicuss, however no one had factored in Ausbitium's years of kangaroo hunting in which he had learned to mimick the oversized giant red rabbits. With this skill in Ausbitium's armoury the man mountain stood no chance as the man from Australis came forward. The giant was too slow to react when attacked and Ausbitium slayed the giant with a sword to the neck.

With Badassicuss dead and the Whalone army in disarray King Bernus Sandus tried to flee the battlefield however he was chased down and hacked to pieces by the jubilant Minnowton forces, leaving nothing but a pile of blubber where a Whaleon King had stood.

The people of Discordia rejoiced as the battle hardened heroes went off to party all night with the heroes drinking the town dry.

The generous benefactor Benjojotus went on to rule the land directing the heroes, Aggroedmemnon, Ausbitium, Teamsteem-eh and his wife Caconite in how to nurture the Minnowtons and help them to live in peace with the Whaleons.

The land of Discordia later became Discord and is a peaceful and prosperous place now where Minnowtons (now called minnows) and Whaleons (now called Whales) co-exist in peace and harmony. The decendants of those great heroes of the past still live there, they are @aggroed @ausbibank @teamsteem & @canadian-coconut and they are heppy to make all who chose to come welcome.

If you are a Minnow and you are interested in living in the land of Discord you can do so by clicking this link https://discord.gg/HYj4yvw joining up and following the instructions of the Minnow people and their Whale friends.

Thank you for reading this historical account of the origins of discord. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you return to read more stories at @tremendospercy

All images courtesy of Warner Bros inc. https://www.warnerbros.co.uk/