RE: And now for my next dangerous act...
I'm not a parent, so maybe take what I have with a grain of salt. But this is actually quite common - the special needs stuff is just the tip of the iceberg. There are a few things that I recommend, sorry if they are things you already are doing or have tried:
- Setting your own boundaries and limits. Only you can determine what your boundaries are, but be careful not to coddle him. Inside, he wants boundaries and consequences because he knows instinctively that those mean you love him.
He's not getting love from his parents right now, and so he's testing EVERY adult within range to the MAX. Like saying, "You say you love me, but would you still love me if I did this?" and purposely disobeys. The trust is gone.
However, there do have to be consequences for his reactions at school. You having to come in is like a game to him, but if you tell him if you have to come in because he's being disobedient, then he loses his video game system for a week.
Obviously it's something that you have to be willing and able to enforce, and the parents don't seem to be cooperative at all. Unless you want to seek guardianship over him, you will have to expect that you will send him home to them in better shape than what he'll come back to you in.
Are you guys getting psychological help? He is, and that is great, but be sure you get it for you.
Is home-schooling an option? You're not getting anything done as it is, so possibly this again would help control the environment.
Lastly, as much as you can control it:
-No sugar, no sugar, no sugar!
-No wheat, no wheat, no wheat!
-Avoid any processed foods because they contain preservatives, food dyes, and other chemicals that can worsen his condition
-Think whole foods, and if at all possible, organic
Look up info on the ketogenic diet . This is the diet given to children at St. Jude's Hospital because studies showed that this diet help stop seizures in kids.
I know it's tough, but if he's fighting external pressures like family life, then his body needs to be given the best chance it can get.
Don't give up, even if you don't see positive results, you are a positive influence in his life. He can't really understand it now or change his own behavior, but someday he'll know just how good you were for him. :)
Thank you for that support, you are awesome. I know this means so very much to both of us. We're trying to do a good deal of that already, but financially it's tough to go all-in on something like the ketogenic diet, but we'll be looking into it.
We actually did the home school bit for awhile, but his psychologist says no home school b/c he needs the socialization. I can understand that, but I have a feeling with the way it's going, that it's going to turn the home school direction anyway.
Thank you.
Hey keep me posted. I know this has to be tough, but it's so worth it!
We will. Not sure which direction we'll end up taking yet... the direction of uncooperative support or the direction of finding ourselves more. Time will tell and hopefully nobody looks badly upon us if we show a bit of selfishness in this area. shrugs
Thank you so much. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond. I tried several times and I just couldn't find the words to thank you for the kind words. So thank you! I will definitely look into this diet. I hope it can help him. The problem there is his parents will not follow it on weekends. At least having it sometime will be beneficial I hope. I asked last year not to give him anything with red or yellow dye in it. They sent him with fruit snacks, puddings, lunchables, m&ms, and red juice a few weeks back. I really think at this point that they are doing it to try to make me upset and start an argument. So I just try to ignore them for the most part.
Ya, ignore them. You can't control their actions, and every little bit you can do will have an impact on him. At the very least you'll be cutting out these things by half in his overall diet. :)